Whan i was younger my dad?

Question

used to beat me usually when drunk .

Do you smack your kids????

I promised myself my kids would never see me in a violent way
and as they are 19/17/14 I am proud that they haven't.

Answer 1

I was spanked as a child by loving parents and grandparents. I was beaten by a stepmother.
There's a VERY BIG difference between spanking and beating. Beating is abuse, spanking is discipline. I hope I don't have to spank my son, it would hurt me worse than it would him. It would break my heart.

Answer 2

When they were little they got the odd smack.

I always worked on the : The first one is for scaring the s*** out of me( like trying to run into the road) and any subsequent one is to relieve my temper. So we never ever got beyond the first one.

They turned out alright if I say so myself. ( Well I would wouldn't I).

No , seriously . I do feel even if it is politically incorrect that there are situations when a swift tap around the back of the leg or the backside of a young child is the best and most effective punishment.

Some things are not possible for them to understand ,therefore very possible to repeat. A surprise smack changes all that very quickly.

As a normal form of chastisement, it doesn't work either for you or the kids and as to a beating , that is morally reprehensible.

Answer 3

I don't believe that smacking kids shows them right from wrong... only that hitting is okay. I do not smack my son, and never will. At his age (9 months) all I can do is pull him away from whatever he is doing. As he grows, my disciplining will have to change to accommodate his maturity level.

My parents disciplined by spanking, and I always remember them doing it out of anger. When I got old enough, I never cared whether I was spanked or not because I knew it only lasted a short while.

It's great that you got control of yourself and never been violent around your kids. I know it's especially hard when that's what you were raised with. You should be proud!

Answer 4

No I don't.
I'm mother of three, step-mother of two, grandma of three grand-daughters and foster mother to many - Iv'e been tempted many times but I don't think smacking kids does any good.
I don't like time-out either - when my kids misbehaved I'd give them "Time In" which meant that they had to spend some time with me, often in the kitchen cooking dinner. If they were little they'd sit up on the counter and we would cook a little and talk a little, and often those times were the times that we really communicated and cleared the air.
You should be proud of yourself for not smacking your kids - Bless you for breaking the chain of violence, you got beatings from you father, but you didn't pass it along to your children.
Well done!

Answer 5

'Smacking' your children when they repeatedly misbehave is fine as far as I am concerned. I they know that there are consequences if they are naughty, they are more likely to behave and so you won't have to smack them very often.
'Beating' children on the other hand is totally out of order.
I know it is difficult to define a border between smacking and beating but most people know where to draw the line with their kids.
People who beat children for no reason should be punished but smacking should be allowed. Look at the behaviour of kids these days after the anti-smacking lobby convinced us that discipline our children was a bad thing!!!!

Answer 6

Well done for breaking the pattern of violence that you were brought up with, it must have been tough for you when you were younger and it's great that you've managed to be a good parent to your own kids. I have smacked my children, and regretted it, now I try very hard to find alternative methods of discipline and find that 'quiet time/ time out' works really well.

Answer 7

Good for you I am so glad you were able to break the cycle. My dad was bet when he was a child and he NEVER laid a hand on me or my sister. My Mom would give us a spanking. But not beat us. Now that I am grown and have a child I do spank her when it is needed. But only on the butt and NEVER when I am mad. I make her go to her room and I cool down then I will go when I am calm down and give her a spanking. This is something that I really never have to do too often.

Answer 8

There's a bloody big difference between a spanking for discipline and a beating out of anger. As long as you know the difference (which it seems you do) that's OK. You sound like a good parent and a considerate father. Well done.

Answer 9

I never spank,beat,slap or be violent in any way with my children.I know what a 'plague' is a drunk man!That's why I divorced my husband a year ago.Now my children(ages 15,12,10,7,5,2 and 2) know what violence is but also know how to get rid of it(at least the older ones but I promise one day the youngest will know about this).No,their father didn't beat them because I never let him to but he wanted to do it and behaved terribly.

Answer 10

A spanking is one thing. Abusive physical contact due to a parents anger or mental state is never okay.

Iam glad you were able to overcome the poor parental training you got from your dad.

We would never abuse our son in any way, but we're firm believers in a spanking when all else fails.

Every parent should strive to discipline their child in a way that is effective and loving, not seek to cause pain to their kids because of their own anger or frustration.