she died nearly 3 years ago i find it hard to go to her grave i really miss her
2006-09-23 02:44:12 · 20 answers · asked by flower 3 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
well it only natural ....she was your best friend... you may never get over the loss of your best friend..maybe if you pushed yourseld to go and talk to her...(that may sound kind of silly)
but doing that will help ease the pain of losing some one close to you.. trust me shes in a better place..
2006-09-23 02:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by Pepperpaige 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A loss of someone that you love is very hard to accept, the pain is always with the ones that are left.
The longer you have or know a person, the more you seem to miss them.
Life and death come hand in hand, you have to accept death, in life, as it is the one thing that we all share.
Life is for the living, not for the dead, we all have to move on. Do not blurr your life with negative thoughts, only positive ones.
Your friend would not like this,as I am sure you had wonderful times together, now you must reflect on these to go forward. We are all in the same boat together, we live and die, until you can accept death, you will feel this way.
Many years ago I asked my grandmother if she was afraid of death, she told me no that it was part of living. After hearing her words I have always been able to accept death, without fear.
My Mother died when I was 9 years of age, just when I was starting to need her most in life. I share my life with her letting see things through my eyes that she did not have the opportunity to see for herself.
It is nice to sit on your own somewhere quiet and remise the good times, the fun and laughter times, with those that you love but are no longer with us in body.
You don't have to visit her grave but if you do, talk positive to her and busy yourself at her grave by wiping her stone or weedding around her grave.
You will always remember your friend and time, is a great healer
but it is your time now, you must move on.
Good luck, I hope I have helped.
2006-09-24 07:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by Monty323 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't expect yourself to ever "get over it". She was your friend. You loved her. But over time, generally you should be able to talk about her more - you must be making progress or you wouldn't have listed your question even. Time does not "heal". It simply helps the wound to close, but the scar remains.
It's ok not to go to her grave. If you don't want to, don't. Think about the good things, shared experiences. Sometimes writing a letter to her will help.
If you still find you're struggling, going to a grief support group or counselor will give you help. There are a lot of books as well.
Be patient with yourself, and thankful that you had a best friend - many people are never gifted with such a relationship.
2006-09-23 09:52:17 · answer #3 · answered by kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A grief counselor once told me "you dont get over it you get on with it, meaning you will never get over the loss but you will get on with life." There is also something called developmental greiving which is like when you hear a song, or see a picture that reminds you of that person and you were ok until you heard or saw it then you cry. It is very normal and the loss is hard but it does get easier. My mom has been gone for 10 years now and she was my best friend, I still miss her but I "talk" to her all the time and it helps. I wish you peace.
2006-09-23 10:08:27 · answer #4 · answered by NotSoTweetOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to get over her loss but honor her memory by getting involved in the fight for a cure. I am a two year survivor and lost a good friend to cancer two years ago this month, while I was still doing chemo. She was a wonderful support to me, having gone through similar experiences.
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Be proactive, get involved!
2006-09-23 22:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you? She was dear to you and her loss has left a hole in your heart and life.
We all feel loss in our life at some point - we do move on, our lives become different and richer. The gap is never filled, it is just that our lives take another direction and grow around that hole.
Sooner or later someone will come along and your life will take on another direction. She would not want you to be so desolate. How wonderful that you had such a good friend. You're lucky. All the best.
2006-09-23 10:11:19 · answer #6 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The healing process is different for everyone - no matter how someone dies. I had a friend who committed suicide and I couldn't even go to her funeral. I was actually angry with her. It's been almost 10 years and I still cry when I pass her home or see her little brother. It helps to remember the good times though. I have pictures I can look at from time to time. I cry, but I still look at them and remember her the way she really was in life.
2006-09-23 13:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by TJMiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never get over it completely. Time is the only thing that will help. Remember all the good things about her and the things you did together. She will always be with you in your heart.
I lost a dear friend almost 10 years ago and I still miss her. It was the first time I had lost a" friend", older relatives, acquaintances,etc.... She died suddenly and it was awful!! We shared many good times together and I will always have those memories. Hang in there.
2006-09-23 10:01:00 · answer #8 · answered by sc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear about your loss,i lost my aunt in march this year, she had a brain tumour ,lung cancer and cervical cancer,we only found out abt the tumour in january, after a 5 hour operation , to take a sample away they found out , it was too large to take away , so she had radiotherapy ,but died a week later from sceptacemia, she was my second mum and best friend rolled into one, and not a day passes by when i,dont have a little cry, time heals so they say,...mariexxx
2006-09-23 10:14:40 · answer #9 · answered by madmarie35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll never get over it, you'll accept it and live life. The loss of a loved one, regardless of how they pass can be a tramatic experience, especially if you were very close. It's not wrong to still miss her, it's not wrong to cry or still have sad feelings. She's still there, just not in body...in spirit. Accept that your best friend as passed on and realize that her memory lives on with you, in your heart. Don't get over her, just remember her and visit her and talk to her about your feelings...and no, people visiting the cemetary will not find you foolish or odd...a lot of people talk to their loved ones after they have passed. I wish you well.
2006-09-23 09:54:08 · answer #10 · answered by rungirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tough question to answer. My mam has just died quite recently of lung cancer( despite not smoking). And I to miss her deeply as she was only in her 50,s we were very close. But it is starting to get easier as the months roll past, I sometimes don,t fully understand why we have to die and then sometimes I am pleased we don,t live forever. I am sure as time goes on it will start to get easier. Kind regards
2006-09-23 22:19:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋