Frequently I have seen people on the internet claim that my tears cure cancer. However, I have never cried. I wish to help mankind in ways beyond kicking terrorist butt. How can I cry? Onions do not work. When I peel an onion, only the onion cries.
2006-09-23 02:14:06 · 18 answers · asked by Onan the Barbarian 1 in Health ➔ Other - Health
I suggest you get a mirror and begin a staring contest with yourself. It is my hypothesis that eventually your eyeballs will become so intimidated that they will produce tears. Either that, or you will create a tear in the fabric of time/space producing a super black hole leading to the total destruction of existance as we know it. Give it a try and tell me how it goes.
2006-09-23 02:26:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Watch the news. That should make anyone cry.
Seriously, don't believe everything you read on the Internet about "miraculous" cancer cures. If crying cured cancer, this world would be cancer-free. I'd suggest talking to a counselor to see if there might be other emotional issues that have made it very difficult for you to cry. Other than that, maybe you could start keeping a journal of your feelings and see if there's something that you're not dealing with that could be repressing tears. Good luck.
2006-09-23 09:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by Pastor Chad from JesusFreak.com 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your tears cure cancer? How would you know if you can not cry?Maybe you can get someone to tell you that you are not a miracle worker, maybe that will make you cry since you seem to be so egocentric.
2006-09-23 09:26:25 · answer #3 · answered by unforgettable_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hear Paris Hilton singing
2006-09-23 09:15:46 · answer #4 · answered by *No Doubt* 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Try dividing by Zero or counting to infinity, and when you fail, you'll surely cry...oh wait...you CAN do that.
oh well, bad luck for the ones who have Cancer.
2006-09-23 09:23:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you pretend to cry while thinking of something sad, you're body will produce tears for you.
2006-09-23 09:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow--you have cancer and have never cried? if you don't have cancer try going to visit a children's hospital where you see precious innocent children fighting for their lives. if that doesn't make you cry--you are helpless.
2006-09-23 09:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by keepingthefaith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of learning how to cry, you need to search deepi n your soul to figure out what is wrong with. Compassion and love only come to people with heart.
2006-09-23 09:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
rub the onions onto your eyes.
2006-09-23 09:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by miserably waiting for her 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand your deep spiritual dilemma. Since you can not use your tears to help others, have you tried sprinkling your sweat or urine on them?
2006-09-23 09:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by Isis 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋