need some good jokes?

Question

for a 11-14.plz

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and you shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to you to bring a smile on your face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index...
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm......
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jok...
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/...
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.ht...
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes...
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes...
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp......
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/entertain...

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps you in making you laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

two guys walked into a bar... the third guy ducked.


What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pot?

Stew


Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,
Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment.
“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, who hangs on the wall? Art

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, who sits on your front porch? Matt

Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

Answer 3

one day, a president visits a school. During the assembly, he asked ''so, what do you think is the most tragic thing?''
then one of the childrens stand up and answer ''well, if there's a plane crashs and killed every people in the plane. tht's a most tragic thing.''
then the president says ''well, quite close but still it's not much tragic. does anyone else wanna try answering this question?''
then another children stands up and said ''well, if someone's murdered, tht's tragic.''
again the president says ''no, still doesnt get to tragic.''
then another boy stands up and says ''well, definitely if you, president dies from a plane crash or has been murdered. tht is a most tragic thing to happen.''
and then the president reply with proudness ''oh why, yes! tht's the most tragic thing. why, do you say so ?''
and the boy reply ''well, because if you, the president died from a plane crash or murdered is not gonna be tragic.''

Answer 4

try this:-
Sister Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack's liquor store. One day she walked in & said, "Jack, give me a pint of brandy."
"Sister " exclaimed Jack, "I could never do that! I've never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!"
"Oh Jack, " she responded, "it's only for the Mother Superior." Her voice dropped. "It helps her constipation, you know."
So, Jack sold her the brandy. Later that night Jack closed the store and walked home. As he passed the convent, he saw Sister Katherine was snookered and was singing, dancing, whirling around and flapping her arms like a bird, right there on the sidewalk. A crowd was gathering, so Jack pushed through and exclaimed, "Sister Katherine! For shame! You told me this was for the Mother Superior's constipation!"
Sister Katherine didn't miss a beat and replied "And so it is, my lad, so it is. When she sees me, she's going to sh-it!"

Answer 5

A duck walks into a bar, sits down beside a horse and says, "Why the long face"

Answer 6

two blokes are walkin along in the bush and they find a big hole in the ground

bloke one says: hey mate check this out
bloke two picks up a rock and throws it down
they dont hear it land so they pick up a really big boulder throw that down still they hear nothing

bloke one say to bloke two: here help me with this railway sleeper would ya

so they pick it up and throw it down about 3 seconds later they hear the bushes behind em movin they turn around to see a goat comin straight for em bloke one throws his mate back and jumps back himself and the goat goes straight down the hole about ten minutes later a farmer walks up and says excuse me fellas have you seen a goat around here anywhere?

bloke two says: yeh big wild bastard chargin straight for us we jumpped out the way and he went straight down this here hole

farmer replied: no good fellas mine was tame and tied to a railway sleeper)

Answer 7

did ya hear about the 2 cannibals eattin a clown one turned to the other and said does this taste funny to you .

Answer 8

I hope these sites give you hours of fun in reading some of the funniest jokes around.

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml

http://www.ahajokes.com/

http://www.ahajokes.com/kids_jokes.html

http://xtraedition.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1885192.cms

http://www.byrum.org/the.web.walker/tasteless/index.html

http://www.thefunnypages.com/

http://www.johndclare.net/Russ12_Jokes.htm

http://www.landbigfish.com/jokes/default.cfm

Answer 9

How do you make a Kleenex dance?......
Ya put a little boogie in it!

Answer 10

there are 2 gays walking in the middle of night.........
gay1:sister can we stop for awhile
gay2: whyyyyy
gay1: i smell some penis
gay2: idiot, u burp only
speak like a gay ....