I have asked a lot of questions on here about this same sex relationship i have been involved in.........?

Question

But now I guess it comes to the wire...or at least I feel it has. I dont want to give up--someone told me not to ever give up on love.....and thats where i am.....i dont want to give up on love....i write these words with tears streaming down my face. My heart is heavy. The woman I have loved for over 2 years now......sometimes closely and sometimes from afar, the woman who told me 2 weeks ago she would be done with her ex---isnt done with her. In fact I am not sure what she was doing to ME last nite. Flirty conversation and actions. And yet phone calls to the ex who was on her way to see her. When I confronted her about the time she was going to reflect on this "poor" relationship she told me she thought about it---I said "nothings changed" she said "no". Then she said "maybe its meant to be". I said "Oh ok, yeah" and I walked to my car and drove off leaving her with her jaw hanging. I feel like crap because I feel lied to and betrayed.

And I know most people reading this will say dump her move on i deserve better.........

But I KNOW deep down she knows she loves me. She cant make that break from the ex and she doesnt know why....words from her own mouth. So I guess I am looking for words of encouragement or advice.......
But please dont judge me for being in a same sex relationship and please dont tell me to dump her and run..........Thanks for reading.......

Answer 1

You are allowing this woman to drain you emotionally. This woman hasn't lived up to she promised you. She continues to run back and fourth. She has no intentions of leaving her mate(which isn't a ex) No one can tell you to leave. You had to make that decision on your on. I know its hard to walk away when you love someone. But is this really love? You can find someone that wants only you. You cant say that your happy with the way you are being treated since you were writing this in tears.Why do you keep wanting to be let down by this woman. She has had 2 yrs to leave this other woman and she hasn't. I am sure you are a nice looking woman.Dont let this woman tear down your self esteem. There are plenty of woman that would enjoy your attention and affection. You seem to be a very given person just look for someone that's willing to give you the same thing back. If you were to get with this woman one on one would she still see her(ex)?Is this what you really want?Stop feeling sorry for yourself you are the one allowing this to happen to you. Get up throw on something nice and go somewhere and relax take your mind off this woman for a while.Then when your head is clear make a decision is this the way you want to feel waiting on a woman another 2 yrs.

Answer 2

Maybe are you playing too easy? Play hard to get, if you believe that she loves you she will be back. I think she is the mixed up one here not you! You seem a sensitive person with alot to give, she will know that. Back off a little and reflect also. In my relationship (not same sex) i would be really pi**ed that my partner was seeing his ex! Do not let her dictate to you. I have always found giving distance soon makes people realize that you are serious more so than lots of texts all calls. My advice would be to not make contact for a couple of days, she will be ringing or texting you quite soon. Also do not be afraid to lay it on the line. Say what you want and if she cannot give you that, never settle for second best, it would then be time to move on. Hang in there and play the game! good luck. Cjay

Answer 3

you need tolet things calm down first.

then start thinnking about the last two years in a rational way. how you met how she treated you. the first time at her place conversations of love and living together. how the ex fit into all of this all along.

be rational, not emotional and study your past. was she sincere or playing you to get her ex back? did she ever care about you or was it all lies.

then think about yourself. is this what you really really want. to be with a woman who can give you up at the drop of a hat to run back to her ex. and if you leave her, will you become her. will you find a new lover but drop her for your ex if she snaps her fingers?

was she your first true love? if so, then you may have been blind to some of the things going on around you. You will have trusted her completely when she was using you. men and women treat each other like this too in hetro relationships.

good luck. if you ever need someone to talk to email or im me.

Answer 4

Wow, you must be in a lot of pain, it makes it very hard with new relationships starting and old ones still havent finished.
Is it guilt that she is still with her ex? and is still seeing her/ talking with her?
Is sounds like she is confused, how old is she?
How old are you?
How long as she been with her ex?
And how long have you 2 guys been seeing eachother for?
Myself and my partner were having this exact problem only i am with a guy.
I was ending a relationship with a alcohol/drug adicted man who was a very dependant person, also was the father of my youngest child.
While in the meantime fell in love with the most wonderful man in the universe.
And also this man (now my husband) was in the process of seperating from his 17 year marriage, of hell, he calls it.
Anyway, when i was telling my new wonderful man that i had told the current partner that it was not working out, the current partner got so upset, beg to stay, guilt trip big time, and i said ok, you dont have to go, cause the guilt for me was too much.
Long story short, A week later i did tell him to go, my mum took him to the train station, and me and the wonderful guy are now married and been together for 7 years.
Maybe its guilt, thats keeping the contact up?
Talk to your girlfriend, let her know this cant continue, if she still wants to pursue a relationship with her ex, you want no part of it at all.
Im sorry you feel like crap, i hope this works out for u the way u want it 2.
Best of luck
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Answer 5

I guess the best advice is that old adage..
If you truly love something, set it free,
If it comes back to you it was meant to be
If it doesn't then it was never yours to begin with.
If you really feel a love connection and feel it back from her, then just be patient and kind and be there to support her. She'll appreciate the space and support and the lack of pressure, cause it sounds like she's putting enough pressure on herself. So just be her friend and then when you do get together, you'll have a stronger base for your relationship.
I hope that it all works out for you and I'm sure that it will.
Don't fret, just try to enjoy what you can with her.
Best

Answer 6

your question breaks my heart. i feel the way you do. i also loved someone but had to let go.listen, from practical experience i can say that it never is easy to leave the one that you love.you demean yourself to stay with your loved one and hope everyday that your beloved will love you the way you love them. but the reality is that if your girlfriend loves you she will not be a chicken to say no to her ex. love makes one very strong and you tend to do the impossible for love.my advice is that you have told her what ever it is needed to be said. and i have to tell you to move on. that woman has had her chance and she has lost it. i am not telling you to jump in bed with another woman but i am telling you to forgive her and move on. i know that it will be very hard not to be with her. and somedays you will get the urge to call her just to hear her voice. but dont do it. when the urge to see her comes to you like a big wave, bite down your tongue and resist the urge,. let the moment pass. you will be ok after a few moment. you can never forget her, but you can forgive her. forgive her for being a wimp and move on.i will pray for you. dont cry, i have been there, all women have been there.

Answer 7

I think that you should take a step back and lets things take it course if it is meant to be she will wake up and realize that she is letting a good thing go. I am kind of in that typr of situation right now but my ex gurl is not dating both of us she is currently not dating me but we still live together. I just have to take if one day at a time and be patient. But always remember to do things that will make you happy in the long run.

Answer 8

My advice is why can't you find a better person - I mean be a straingt person - involve yourself with some one who is really serious and enjoy life. Why to brood over the past - life continues/ I feel that the lady was more practical than you.

Answer 9

i feel the pain you r going thru. u deserve to be happy. u are special, ask your parents or friends if u doubt it. does part time with her worth more than 2 lifetimes with someone else? enjoy the part time until you are strong enough to do something about it. what advise would you have given your daughter if she was in your shoes? take that advise, u deserve the same goodness you'll want for your child.

Answer 10

My suggestion would be to not talk to her for a little while so she can have some time to figure out what she wants. If she truely wants to be with you then she will come around if not then you need to move on and find someone who wants to be with you and not play games.