I just want to know what I can do about my phobia with regards to romance and dating. Whenever I find myself being flirted with or sharing even a hint of mutual attraction, I break into a cold sweat and head for the nearest exit. I may also have some social anxiety as well, since I have very few friends that I really keep in contact with. I was rejected a lot in school and I'm still somewhat convinced that I have nothing to offer a potential soulmate. People say I'm attractive, but I'm afraid of being hurt like I was in school. What steps do you think I should take to solve this problem?
2006-09-23 02:11:39 · 14 answers · asked by roninscribe80 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
girl this is a question that sounds like it came straight from my brain! I am your twin on this one, lol
the only thing i can say is that when i was in school i was hurt a bit too self esteem wise, but when i got out of school i made myself be the way i wanted, started workin out and lost weight and wearin makeup and doing my hair. i am soo pretty now i get compliments, but they dont matter to me because i still feel like that girl in school that was shunned. i shy away from any contact with even friendly people. But i got online and joined a dating site. a year later i found myself a lil more outgoing because people liked my personality before they had even seen me. and i have been with my boyfriend now for almost a year, and i have come out of my shell a great deal. i am not afraid of meeting people anymore (well still nervous) but i can handle it.
2006-09-23 02:24:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r protecting urself and until u can find someone u can trust with ur heart, then i am guessing u will feel this way.
there r good guys out there ones that won't hurt u.
everyone has something to offer, even u. i do totally understand ur situation. the part about people hurting people
i used to be a very romantic person and a sensitive and have found people use that then walk all over me. now i am very protected about showing that side of myself.
2006-09-23 09:30:43 · answer #2 · answered by jesse james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i have the same problem the guy i like asked me out and i totaly freaked and blew it and now im working hard just to get my friend back(he as a rly good friend) as much as i like him i find myself trying to avoid him well not so much now that things r better but in the last 2 yrs where we like never talked(he asked me 2 yrs ago)i would avoid him where and whenever possible and it frustrated me and i still dont like the idea of dating but i like him and its a huge3 problem in my life right now i was rejected when i was younger an he was my first, best (and till a few mos.ago only)guy friend i have ever had and when i lost that well the best thing to do is face ur fears that what i have 2 do. and if i dident realy help at least now you no ur not alone
2006-09-23 09:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Fire's-Out 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid. If the person of the other sex is worth any thing they are probably are some what in the same area. Being rejected dosen't mean any thing so long as you don't try to be something else. If people say your pretty accept it and go from there.
2006-09-23 09:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by djsanner@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you continue to believe you have nothing to offer a soulmate, you will get no where in relationships. Sounds as if you might have a bit of social anxiety. Try getting professional help.
2006-09-23 09:17:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
romance is sweet if its with the right person... let your heart guide you, but pls let your brains lead you...no relationship is made in heaven..there is bound to be ups and downs...to make the romance sweet..you need to make it happen..nothing works, except you work it...as for your running for the exit door when a guy shows interest in you,,i think it is shyness, bcos you feel you are not beautiful enough or as you said,you think you have nothing to offer a guy....let me let you know that you have alot to offer a guy...you can give him fun all the days of his life..the type he cant get from anybody else...your words alone could solve 50% of his problem...believe in yourself...when a guy shows interest in you next time...respond positively, but dont rush into any relationship...time will tell if the guy is serious or not...and pls try and make friends...bcos it will help you to learn faster from your friends success or failures with guyz...about the steps to take in solving your shyness problem ?...try boosting your confidence by looking at yourself at the mirror and see how smart and beautiful you are...psyche and tell your self that...your presence will make a guy hot...you need to boost your confidence...for more information...my email is funnykindel@yahoo.co.uk
2006-09-23 09:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by funnykindel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know wat the exact steps would be... but if i was you i would take small ones and not leap too fast. I would give a honest guy a chance. And if a guy ask you out and you dont think he is your type then dont feel bad to say no. But, on the other hand if a guy that seems nice comes up to you and ask if you want to go to dinner then dont be afraid to say yes. Just dont get too serious too soon. Good luck and Best wishes
2006-09-23 09:15:56 · answer #7 · answered by Chelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's your intuition trying to protect you. Relationships hurt. There is always one person who is committed to making things work and another who is committed to driving that train off the track. Love isn't what the movies tell you it is. It's a lot of work and most men have the commitment capacities of gnats. Stay the way you are. Be afraid, your gut isn't lying to you.
2006-09-23 09:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's fine. i am just like you. i feel uncomfortable, whenever he is around me. we just need to find some experience and we will get used to things like this
2006-09-23 09:20:18 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
part of having a relationship
2006-09-23 09:14:26 · answer #10 · answered by revolou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋