first I'm not the mothering type! Im not good with kids i dont even really like kids. well kids are ok i guess, its just babies. they make me nervous so i would just perfer not to be around them. My problem is im on birth control and found out a few weeks ago i'm pregnant. Ive been with my bf for over 5 yrs i know he wants kids the thing is i dont. I dont want to have a abortain and my bf was in the whole foster care system all his life till he turn 18 and was kicked out on his butt with $500 and no other help, so i know he would never go for adoption. I'm willing to have the kid im just scared i'll be a horrible mother and not love the kid cause i'm just not a baby person. Even around my friends kids they try to get me to talk to the baby and hold them and im just not into it. I dont do all that gugu talk. Dont get me wrong me and bf are both educated, we work and make desent money, so im not worried about affording it,im just scared ill reck its like by having a heartless mother!!
2006-09-22 20:39:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is a trip...I used to think the same of myself.
I wasn't into kids...everybody and I mean
EVERYBODY I KNEW was like whaaaaa!
you're having a baby..you? my kids are in elementary and I STILL
have old friends tell me.."I can't believe you have kids"
I wasn't all warm & fuzzy & huggy.(B-4 my kids were born)
But in my situation it changed my life. Really made me see alot of things differently. Don't get me wrong...I am not the perfect mother.
But you know what , NO ON IS,,..you just try your best and try to love them the best you can..also try to look up parenting classes b-cuz that will help you ALOT.
there is no shame in trying to learn more or better techniques on raising your child. I think it actually shows you care alot and want to inform yourself better from others more experienced and research to back it up...
It is hard at times but also rewarding.HEY you will be raising another human being.
I used to be a very "gets grossed out by diapers" kinda person.
But when I had my own..it didnt bother me..I thought "awwww
she went POO POO"
Not saying it will be the exact same for you but you will be ok..
Ya know what also..I still dont like other peoples kids that much. But now I can deal with it better kuz I know my kids are like them just trying to grow up also.
but please talk to a profesional or a counselor from church if you feel real down or real down after you have him/her. (could be due to hormones affecting your emotions alot)
Everyone needs help and there is no shame in asking.
congrats
best wishes
God bless you & your new family
2006-09-22 21:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by sHiNe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every one on this planet is with a purpose!
You may think you do not like kids, but as some one said above, wait till you have your own and you will be a different person!
If your mom had to think that way think now, you wouldn't be here!
Giving a birth to a child and raising is more then a gugu talk. If you are healthy and since it is affordable to you, you must accept child raising as challenge and place your trust in god, that he will see you though, everything!
Give your Bf a chance to see his kid being given a better treatments then what he received!
All the best!
2006-09-23 03:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by ~Raju~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take some parenting classes so you will feel more comfortable about taking care of a baby. You will do fine. Babys love their mamas no matter what so don't worry about that. You don't have to talk goo goo talk to a baby. I didn't. Well, most of the time. You will be surprised what will come naturally. But do take some classes so you will feel better knowing what to do and how to do it. And never hesitate to call for help with the baby. We were ALL new at it one time. If you are truly not a baby person relax. It won't be a baby forever. My husband wasn't a baby person either. It all works out. m
2006-09-23 07:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by Mache 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a terrible person, your just not good with babies.That's alright some ppl just aren't.I know about foster care, my parents have been foster parents for 8 years.I can understand why oyur bf dosen't want adoption, but adoption is nothing like foster care.There are tons of people out there who want to adopt, and if the baby is adopted it'll be with that family 4ever.And if you go through open adoption, you get to choose the family you think could best raise your child.I was adopted from a newborn and since my parents are foster parents, i know the difference.Good Luck.And if push comes to shove give my parents the baby.There trying to adopt. lol
2006-09-24 00:24:13 · answer #4 · answered by wvcountrygirl_93 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to first sit down and talk to your boyfriend and tell him exactly how you feel. It sounds like you just aren't comfortable around babies more so than not liking them. Also maybe you should go to some parenting classes to help you out. You'll be fine in the end. Best of wishes to you!!
2006-09-23 08:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are naturally materna.
I had to work at wanting a baby, but the first moment you hold your child the fear and reluctance will disappear.
Your bf will be great support too.
Together you'll be okay, don't let it overwhelm you, take it day by day.
Good luck. Oh, and it's not necessary to talk googoo to them.
2006-09-23 03:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by Yellowstonedogs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not a terrible person. Have the kid and keep it. I can promise that he/she will grow on you and your heart will open up just a little bit more every few months until they are out of house. You'll see, it will be fine. They remind you of you, they will do things that you used to do, they will teach you in a fashion that you can have never imagined.
2006-09-23 04:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a terrible person first of all.... birthcontrol doesn't always work and now your pregnant..yes, some of us can imagine how you are feeling....If I am wrong, it would surprise me, but the minute you see YOUR child, you will instantly fall in love like you've never loved before!!..Becoming a parent is a big step...Trust me, planned pregnancies are a handful compared to unexpected pleasant surprises, my children....I was 19 when I had my son, and wouldn't trade that for anything....have 4 all together, they are grown now...No owners manual came with mine, as one won't with yours...Relax, get some magazines that have to do with pregnancy, childbirth, Relax!!!!....There are lots of women who would love to have a child and can't... they would trade shoes with you in a heartbeat...may not seem like a blessing at the moment, but I sure hope when you see your child, it becomes one for you....Good luck sincerely...
2006-09-23 03:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i hate babies too. in fact i detest babies so much that they are on my list of untouchables. but i dont have problems with toddlers. i mean i am quite a popular uncle amomg the toddlers in my family. i think you suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder, i know i do. its not that big a deal.
i shud say that you must consult someone professionally, if you can do it. that will help to keep you easy minded.
don worry, even if you cant' adjust to a baby, it will grow up and within five years you will have a bouncy funny toddler in your hands.
2006-09-23 04:08:16 · answer #9 · answered by queryboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your fear but that will subside the closer you get. You'll be surprised how much you do start to feel towards this child, especially when you get that first kick deep inside.
You'll be a wonderful mother I'm sure.
2006-09-23 03:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋