older sister who has been through 2 divorces is barely scaping by and has to go without what most of us take for granted, she never has money, not even gas money. My parents help her out all the time with handouts and they give her the cans or bottles to sell or some gas money when they can.
She currently owes me a couple hundred bucks from small loans, but every time she asks me for money I know I'm giving it to her and not getting it back. She is on disability for a foot injury, and only gets 300 bucks a month and another 500 from her daugheters dad. Her rent for the room she shares with my niece is $600 a month so she is scaping by with 200 a month. How can I help her help herself. She has gone through every depression medicine and cant seem to get back on her feet. She used to be such a hard worker and lived very comfortably. She will take the shirt off her back for anyone and is constantly helping others with favors, she deserves better.
2006-09-22 19:06:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like you are a very good brother. I think you have already answered your own question. You are helping her. I hope she gets better and it sounds like she is trying. I would try and watch for jobs for her to apply for. What kind of work did she do before? How old is her daughter? Maybe her child is the reason she doesn't work. Could it be she feels her child needs her at home? I hope things do get better for her too!
2006-09-22 19:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by JAN 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-01 06:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all: reduce her expenses. Find a smaller apartment, or get another roomate, or have her move somewhere where she could be rent free until she gets a steady job. Perhaps you could help her find a job at your office, and/ or put her up for a stated amount of time? She must have some skills - you said she used to be a hard worker. Other ways to cut down on expenses: stop using the car until she gets a job (no gas $ being used) - use the bus instead. Cut out any luxury items, like expensive groceries (think pb and j, pasta, tuna fish, etc. - for a while - that kind of thing). Examine all of her bills, and see if there is any way to cut them down - over charges, or ways to conserve energy for the utility bill. But she has to do these things - you can't lecture at her and expect her to like you. Don't get all high and mighty.
Whatever you do, try to get her out of this lose/lose vortex she is currently in. She can't get ahead with her expenditures being what they are given the amount of money she has coming in, and until she finds a way of cutting costs she will only become more depressed trying to deal with this situation. Good luck, and good for you for trying to help her!
2006-09-22 19:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make a deal with her. If you have plenty of money, pay her to to to school, develop a skill, find a job. Once she has retrieved her self esteem and gotten back on her feet she can pay you back. If you are self employed and could have her work for you that would also be good. Just make sure that business remains business and don't let her slide because she is family. It is important that she regain her confidence by actually working and succeeding. Don't just give her handouts here and there. Don't make her beg for help. Be professional. You will be saving her.
2006-09-22 19:14:42 · answer #4 · answered by Answergirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Mr. Henderson, you will be blessed for helping your sister. Also I believe that you already know the answer to your question. It is time for families to come together in love and encouragement. Maybe what you can do is sit your sister down and go over a budget and see if this will help her, if her income is that low, maybe she need to relook at the things she really needs and not want she really wants. I can understandhow you feel, because I just went thought something like this and it took over 5 years to get things in order, but it was a learning listen and LIFE
2006-09-22 19:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by single2mingle22000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is great that as a sibling you are concern abt her. Reading from your situation, i would also help out provided its not a fincial drain on myself. If you have other siblings, then share the burden between all of you. Alternative is to suggest the various shemes available by different organisations for needy ppl. Options are open.Family support is important in my opinion. Try to see if she can get a job that requires minimum use of her leg. Hope this helps.
2006-09-22 19:12:23 · answer #6 · answered by pearlyalexis 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should help her if you are able. I would not take from my own family, but if I had extra I would give it. In the end you will be rewarded. If you have not tried giving her emotional support, you should. I know it is frustrating because I have dealt with a similar situation. Do what you can to help, just do not hurt yourself in the process.
2006-09-22 19:12:52 · answer #7 · answered by timidlady2003 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there anyway that you could help her without giving her money. I am sure you have heard that you could give a man fish and feed him for a day or teach him how to fish and feed him for life. Maybe some possibilties are helping her emotionally, helping her find a job that she can sit down with. Maybe helping her find a good diet that may help alter her mood and excercise can help alter mood as well. I hope everything will work out for her.
2006-09-22 19:11:31 · answer #8 · answered by souplane21 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She is in a deep depression and needs a better therapist.
Instead of giving her money, treat them to a nice vacation or take them clothes shopping. Buy them the stuff they need, food clothes.
2006-09-22 19:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is getting better...you're helping her. You will be blessed greatly for doing that. You know that she needs help and she may need a little encouragement from you and your family as far as getting back on her feet. You can always get more money, but getting your sister back on her feet seems to be important to you. I think that you're doing a great job and I think that you should continue helping her, but encourage her to help herself as well.
2006-09-22 19:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by Twana A 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋