This is the second time me and my girl have had it out over this. She's from a catholic family that drinks every time they're together. I'm living the straight edge punk lifestyle (abstaining from drugs, smoking and alcohol.) This is the second time we've had it out about her going drinking when she turns 21. I keep telling her that I dont see why people need to drink to feel good, and she keeps trying to say im just being controlling. what should we do to stay together?
2006-09-22 18:49:15 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off , it is your choice to live that lifestyle ,and it is you that chooses to not use drugs or booze . Now the question is why cant your ole lady go have a good time if that is what she chooses to do ?? Man in the whole spirt of being a punker you cant be telling your lady waht to do to have a good time ......if you dont like what she does then just split and find a cool straight edge chick that loves bondage pants doc martins and dont use booze, its simple for me because i dont knpw the girl or you , but really just let your girl do her thing .. Now if it is damaging the relationship and she get loaded every night then I would get a new girl ............ good luck man , she is kinda right you are trying to control her a bit ,,,,,, does she tell you not to listen to Minor threat or whatever you listen to ?? dont trip on her live your life and if it is casual drinking on your womans part then let it ride .......good luck
2006-09-22 18:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there's no real alcoholism in her family, then yeah, you're probably being a wee bit controlling. If you have real reason for worrying that she'll get into a severe problem with alcohol, there's unfortunately nothing you can do to actually make her stop. Maybe call Al-Anon or something if you think that this is going to turn into a really big thing, and they'll be able to give you better answers than we can....maybe help to alleviate some of your fears, as well.
2006-09-23 01:54:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i totally understand where you're getting at. My fiance used to be like that but we talked about it and we worked it out. Try to talk to her and try to explain to her how you feel. You never know she may have a problem.. try to see if you can help her fix it now before it could get worst. Both of you could probably compromise on this situation. If she really care about her own well-being and having you in her life..she should probably consider slowing it down a bit. She can still have her fun once in a while but it doesn't have to get out of control. you and i may not understand why people drink, but there are many problems that may cause them to do so. Some do it for fun, some do it b/c they think it takes away their pain, and her they just have some alcohol abuse issue. you're just concern about her.. try to be at her level and think why is she doing this.. sometimes she may just want to have her fun, but she should realize that she can drink to a certain extent. so just talk to her.. if she doesnt stop..or slow down. maybe things maynot work out..you cant always WORRY every time if shes going to be home safe or end up getting behind the wheel and killing innocent people. try to understand one another.. a relationship is a two-way street. good luck
2006-09-23 01:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her what she thinks she would like to drink. Tell her you'll buy her whatever she wants to drink provided she drinks it at either your place, her place. Then let her get drunk and experience the pleasures of vomiting and hangover. Better that she learns in a safe place while you are there to protect her, than somewhere such as in a bar where she might be taken advantage of by unsavory characters.
2006-09-23 02:00:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if she doesnt drink now, why she needs to drink then? I think she is acting spoiled only for attention. But you need to sit with her and explain that if theirs no give and take and understandings between you two from now, and you decide to get married you will have many problems. Because in marriage you have many decisions to make together.
2006-09-23 01:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by racey dweik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to make a choice...alcohol or you and then help her pack...because if she loved you at all or had any respect for you, she would comprehend that you're not being controlling...you're just trying to keep her safe and healthy.
2006-09-23 01:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by drkdreamr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her drink! Just leave it alone, you cant change her into what you want her to be. The more you complain about it, the more its going to be a big issue for you two
2006-09-23 01:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by yogurlmsbunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not force you views or beliefs on others. she is only curios because it's a new thing. She may go out a few times and see you point of view!
2006-09-23 01:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by patricia_hyland72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to stay together would be a better question. You believe one way and she another.
2006-09-23 01:56:00 · answer #9 · answered by msbhaven05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being control of what?
u cannot change the person...but if u really love her be there for her....accept what she is and respect....
2006-09-23 01:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋