I left my wife pregenat to take up a new job in other country. Since then she has given birth to a handsome baby boy who will be 5 months when they join me? I really dont know what the reaction of this boy will be when he first meete me and if at all there will be any lifetime effects of me not being with him in his early life? development.
2006-09-22 18:48:52 · 17 answers · asked by deltax 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Of course not. He will know you are his father and you will build a solid relationship if you wish to. My husband missed nearly the first year of our oldest child's life while he served in Iraq. He is now her favorite person on earth, and she doesn't remember him being gone at all. No worries.
2006-09-22 18:54:02 · answer #1 · answered by paperclip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, your being a 'father' had just started and parenting your own son, is still very much in in its early stage.
I can see that you feel some kind of 'guilt' over your absence when your son was born and during his first 5 months BUT you DO have a valid reason for it, and your absence was due to the fact that you are working hard to make both ends meet. Whatever the reason for being your 'absent' during his first 5 months, shouldn't make you feel guilty for the rest of your life. You and your family still has a full life ahead of you and your fathering your own child is still at its very best.
I really don't believe that there will be a devastating impact on your child. Unless if it were the mother who wasn't around during the first 12 months. But you see, your son is still a baby and you can still enjoy his presence each time around every time you talk, cuddle and play with him.
Your worrying too much about the impact that your absence had brought, isn't worth your time. In all honesty, this will only hinder you from being a father and parent to your own son and would probably affect your focus in life.
You are a father now and enjoy being one. I am glad to know that you are one father who is really concerned over your own child. I think, that's good but let's put it into perspective. You are a dad now and I truly believe that you and your son will enjoy many seasons together in the coming years.
2006-09-23 02:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by Charlize101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will bond with you. You're his daddy. As long as you spend time with him he will have no effects from you not being there. I am sure your wife is a wonderful mother and actually you are coming back at the perfect time. He is finally recognizing people and interacting more each day. You will be there to hear some of his very first words and maybe see his first teeth come in. You have yet to see alot of his firsts.
I know your concentration is on your son and it very much should be. But the first year of taking care of a baby especially the first half year is the hardest and most difficult time for a mother. Your wife is probably physically and emotionally drained. Make sure she knows how much she is appreciated.
You have to be beyond happy to hold your wife and baby boy in your arms. Take care of them both and they will love you back fully.
God Bless your family.
2006-09-23 06:57:37 · answer #3 · answered by galbee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, as long as you love him and care for him, there should be no effects. There are many adopted children who are adopted when they are 1 or older, and they still have excellent relationships with their parents.
As for biological parents- I am a living proof that it will not affect your relationship. The same thing happened to my mother- she was finishing her PhD in a different city, and my dad was working in the city where they lived when I was born. They had been trying for a kid for couple of years, didn't work, and my mom decided to go for a PhD. Then she got pregnant, and they decided that it makes much more sense for my mom to finish her degree instead of taking time off, and for my dad to make extra money before I am born.
I was 8 months when I first met him (he did see me when I was born, and spent a day or 2 couple of times before that ). According to what my parents said, I was really scared of my dad's mustache the first time he took me in his arms, but I have been ok ever since. I'm 33 now and still get along very well with him and with my mom.
2006-09-23 08:53:03 · answer #4 · answered by jimbell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys will be fine. A baby usually does not care who is taking care of them for the first few months anyways. You can build a healthy bond without miss a beat up to the age of 9 months old.
2006-09-23 02:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by GEE-GEE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens in military life every day.. At 5 months old your baby doesnt know much and once they join you he will form an attachment.. He will never even remember a time without you..
Do you remember when you were 5 months old?? Me either !!
Take it from a military wife it happens every day and all of our kids are just fine !!!
2006-09-23 01:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by kathygd1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, think of it this way.....do you remember being 5 months old? I know I don't. First memories usually don't come until a child is a few years old. Don't feel anxious....he'll get used to you once you start spending more and more time with him, and he can feel that you are going be a permanent fixture in his life. I promise it won't take him very long to feel comfortable with you.
2006-09-23 02:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by DikkiJones 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 5 months old,not 5 years.He will easily get used to you and after 2-3 days he will have already forgotten you haven't been with him all the time.
2006-09-23 10:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be a little afraid as you are a stranger at first but I doubt it. 5 months is pretty friendly and loving. No long term effects and he will get to know you in a matter of days.
2006-09-23 01:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by Chloe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have children and my husband travel around the world for his job.In my personal opinion, I am sure your son will welcome you because,he is your real blood and believe me it will not have much impact but your guilt is still there if you are thinking and keep it for yourself. Now you will be home with him and your wife I am sure you will enjoy being them. The smell of fresh baby will make you forget about everything. Trust me no harm done and good luck for every things.
2006-09-23 02:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by ryladie99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋