My son and his wife divorced and she moved away from me with my grandchildren.I never get to see them anymore?

Question

I am unable to go get them and I think that they should resolve their differences for the kids sake. It is not fair to the kids not to be with me. We have a great relationship and I love them dearly. What should I do? They are so selfish. I wish I could just take my grandkids and run away with them.It hurts me so bad not to see them. Please help me with the right decision on what to do. I have begged,pleaded,demanded and stayed out of their problems. All I want is to see my grandkids

I would NEVER sue her. She is a good mom. And he is a good father. It's just that he is not dealing with things yet. It has been four yrs now. She left him for another man. We all live far apart and i do offer to meet her halfway. I haven't seen them since last christmas and they have moved and did not tell me where or even what the phone number is. I cannot stand it. They were with me all the time as babies and until the last yr. They are 8 and 5 and I need them and they need me. My son is being stubborn and selfish and will not even go out of his way to bring them to me.I am unable to travel due to health.. I dont know...im just so sad without them.So much has happened. Her and I always got along and i mind my business,,i do not want to jepordize seeing them ever. I wanna be in their lives

Answer 1

YOU NEED TO GET ON THEIR MOMS GOOD SIDE CALL HER AND CHECK ON THE KIDS TALK TO THE KIDS ON THE PHONE EMAIL THEM SEND PICTURE ASK FOR PICTUES SEND THE KIDS GIFTS EVEN IF TIS JUS T A LIL SOMETHING SO THEIR MOM CAN SEE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM AGREE NOT TO GET IN THEIR PROMBLES BUT ASK TO SEE THE KIDS YOU CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT ON WHERE MAYB MO WILL MEET YOU HALF WAY AND SHE AND YOU CAN SPEND THE WEEKEND AT A HOTEL WITH THE KIDS TAKE THEM TO A MOVIE SHOPPING WHATEVER THEY LIKE IF THAT DOESNT WORK GET YOU A LAWYER IN MY STATE THERE IS GRANDPARNETS RIGHTS GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS I KNOW YOU MUST B BESIDE YOURSELF I HAVE 2 GRANDSONS AGES 2 YRS AND 3MOS I WOULD BE NUTS IF THEY DIDNT LIVE SO CLOSE TAKECARE

Answer 2

Hun, this is going to be the one thing that will always get to you but here's the thing my parents did 25 yrs. ago and though I never quite forgave them it did work. You see your daughter in law probably went home and if you talk to your son you can find out a lot about her family and you might do so by maybe helping him find them if you know what I mean. My parents I found out have known where my kids were along and they are now in there 20's and as for me well let's just say I wasn't able to be much of a father to them any way and they knew it. They became close to my ex and found her they stayed close to her just so the kids would know there grandparents. In as much as I wished they would have told me I know what they did was for my kids and not to hurt me. So why don't you at least try it there are a lot of "People Search" companies on the web such as 1-800-ussearch and intelius and finding people isn't that hard. Good luck and Peace

Answer 3

Call up your son's ex-wife. Tell her for the children's sake, you, as a close family member, should be allowed to see them- particularly while they are dealing with their parents' divorce. If she lives some distance away, consider moving closer. Offer some free babysitting, or to watch them while she goes to the movies, dinner, etc.

Remember, they are HER kids, so she doesn't have to let you see them. So, remain absolutely civil with her, don't make demands. And if you ever want to see your grandchildren again, don't even try to sue her (unless she's abusing them) because the judge will rule in her favor, and then she definately won't let you se them.

Or, arrange to see them when they are spending time with your son.

Answer 4

You can catch more flies with honey than with acid. Your daughter-in-law is going through a lot right now. Be her FRIEND. Be an equal with her. Her moving away does not mean u will lose the grandkids. Those kids will want to be with their parents more than with you, even if it does not look that way to you now. Work WITH this couple in crisis. Put their needs above yours & your fears. Mostly, what is right for the parents will be right for the kids. My cousin & his wife moved to TN. One of their kids is exceptionally bright & they thought they might be hurting that kid. They moved to TN. The move was good for their marriage & their bright kid did good too.
Your son & daughter-in-law need a good friend & mentor right now; not an overbearing, selfish mother-in-law & mother, no matter how much you mean well by them. Your son is too old now for mothering. You'll have to let him live his life & make his mistakes. You can't live his life for him. A happy daughter-in-law = happy grandkids right now. What's good for her will be good for the kids. Try to be the best, most trustworthy mother-in-law this girl could ever have, even if it means you will be the EX-mother-in-law. If you become her ex-mom, she will work with you if you work with her. My mom kept in touch with my dad's mom with me when she broke up with my dad. My dad's mom always accepted my mom unconditionally & it paid off for my grandma.
PS. My grandma used to say to her kids. "Now that you're married, you must make your spouse number one, and not me."
Her kids got emotional & said no, but they did probably feel some relief from the fear they felt about their mom in the future, etc. Her son-in-laws heard that my grandma had said this. They loved her for it, & when grandma got infirm, she was welcomed & cared for in their homes, with the son-in-laws approval.

Answer 5

Divorce is not good and not to many people win. I do not how old they are, phone calls, video phone, letters and just hope the parents will be merciful. It is many times a wait and see. Learn when not to be pushy. Ask for the right time to see them or talk to them, I am afraid you will have to go on the parents rules and respect then and do not get angry with them

Answer 6

she will be ready to move by the country if she so chooses. in case your son needs her to stay interior the state with a view to work out his youthful toddlers more advantageous extremely (flying/driving/practice is severe priced and an undue burden) he desires to document papers with the courtroom to ascertain she would not leave the state. 50 miles is a lot even with the indisputable fact that it truly is nonetheless interior maximum states till you stay proper on the border. it will be truly unsightly to ought to rigidity 50 miles for visitation and all; even with the indisputable fact that, I experienced some thing similar in my existence as my mothers and fathers divorced. My mom moved out of the state (yet changed into in direction of the city than if she had moved to the subsequent closest city interior the state). My father on the on the spot filed courtroom papers and my mom had to promote the domicile she'd offered and move back into the state (interior the advise time we ended up staying with my grandmother). He probable won't be able to save her from transferring 50 miles away (a criminal specialist may be able to make clean that aspect), yet he can save her from leaving the state.

Answer 7

are really said to here what is going on this may sound bad but is there any thing going on with the parents that you could hold against them to try to get custody of them?? an old friend of mine also went through this and she even took legal matter but the courts told her that grandparents dont have right...all i can say is i have 4 kids my self and i wish that they had grandparents who cared for them as much as you seem to care for your good luck

Answer 8

Sorry, but you can try to talk to her about you going out there and seeing them, but other than an agreement to do that you just have to back off a bit and let it go no matter how hard it is. She's their mom and it's her right.

Answer 9

Your ex daughter in law is probably still smarting from the divorce..maybe you should contact her directly and ask her permission to see the grandkids.....most mothers who love their children would not seperate them from loving grandparents......good luck...........

Answer 10

I don't know what to say, but it must be really sad for you. You can try calling them, or emailing them through wed cam ,so that you can see them.