i am a really cold person some say. i have no real loce for my family and i could just live finr with out them and if one of them dies i dont think it would do too much too me. i know i would feel the death and be sad but what i would feel is numbness mainly and others would see some one who could not care less. now aside from my family i have a hard tild trusting people hell it took a year befor i felt ok to go to my friends house in high school and i know for a fact i will stab any of my friends in the back to save my *** (i would not do that too my family though) a third thing is that i have tried to be come friendly with the other sex but i think i always come accross as not interested even though i am hard as a rock! i can say or show what is needed to attract them.
how do i war up so i can have what i need to advance in my life. maby i would not be so frusterated with life if i was warmer.
any ideas?
2006-09-22 17:54:44 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Has someone hurt you? It sounds like you have subconsciously thrown up a lot of walls to protect yourself from having to feel (and consequently, having to lose anything.) Sometimes our minds and hearts throw up these walls without our realization as a defense mechanism. If you don't get close to anything or allow anyone to get close to you, you have nothing to lose.
The problem is that you've never gained either. If you can't feel anything, or truly experience love and loyalty to other human beings, what joy or meaning is there in your life?
I would say start with some conscious effort to take interest in other people and consciously force yourself to express sensitivity toward others. Perhaps after you are in the habit, the benefits of sensitivty and caring will become apparent to you, but it may not happen until you have demonstrated them first.
2006-09-22 17:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very bad habit you got comfortable with, not caring for the feelings of others, thinking that it will bring you success, often called emotional selfishness. You've learn to wear a hard shell to protect the loving child in you, or the one you feel needs most protection... the vulnerable YOU, inside.
You say that you would stab a friend to save yourself but not your family, well, unless you learn to change (and resolve to do this quickly) you WILL stab even family and relatives, too. It's a progression that you may not be able to stop. YOU have obviously suffered a hurt in the past that has caused you to be overly self-protective.
If you find that this is affecting the real "you," then seek help from a licensed professional who can work with you and help you bring this change about most effectively in the shortest possible way. YOU are keeping yourself from so much joy, laughter and life's many pleasures... seek a licensed professional and you'll see the difference in a short time. It IS possible to change, trust me.
2006-09-22 18:14:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have put yourself in a cage with invisible bars. It has a key on the floor of the cage put you just allow it to lie there. You have closed your feelings, you think. Deep down they are there and they do arise in different times, for whatever reason you attempt to stop them. You hide behind what you want yet somehow with women you are capable of showing them what is needed to attract them by; saying or showing them your character. Perhaps you are more shy than you have realized. Perhaps your self confidence stops short where it should not. .Perhaps your self esteem needs more work, to do all this get involved in a town gym etc. Explore your life, your hopes and dreams. Someday they will come. Above all put God first in your life. Pray and be active in his life as well.
You do this you will see changes in your life by asking.
2006-09-22 18:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bhagavad Gita says, "Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the the dead." (2.11)
Not sure myself if compassion always wins out over fate; so try to be honest about your feelings while being benevolent.
As far as dating maybe you are being empathic in that area in some way, or it's subconscious sarcasm; lust is an interesting phenomenon, it's not 'just' a moral judgement kind of thing. It's energetic and you can have unintentional lower feelings for someone not knowing theyre for example your sibling from a past life . . .... . .. . .
2006-09-22 19:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just be really lonely, and you have a trust issue. Someone may have done something to you in the past that really numbed you. I think it's best that you talk about it and realize that you can open up. Everyone isn't out to hurt you.
2006-09-22 18:01:24 · answer #5 · answered by ♥michele♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something bad must've happened to you when you were a child that makes you put up a wall around yourself. You want to be the one who hurts somebody else before they do it to you.
2006-09-22 17:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by IthinkFramptonisstillahottie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out what causes emotional retardation U need to learn to let go your emotions sound anal ...
2006-09-22 18:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to a psychiatrist. you need to check your psycology stuff. May be they can help you be warmer.
2006-09-22 17:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by niceQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
George Bush ... is that you?
2006-09-22 18:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Sam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋