I wouldn't bother asking a bunch of strangers if I wasn't in deep **** or really desperate. I'm 15 and iv had this friend (16). Where really tight so anyone who tells me to give up on him is wasting there time. His mom died of cancer when he was 9 and his dad got into alcohol. Anyone with common sense could tell something was ****** up in that house. Than the marks got worse and he was getting beat everyday with something. Last night we had a party at his house and things got broke like at all parties. I didn't know he was going to be in the emergency room. His dad said he fell down the stairs it didn't make any sense cause corey had marks from a metal pole and a belt, falling down the stairs doesn't do that to you. The hospital looked past it because his dad was the one that called the ambulance. When it happened he was helpless cause he was drunk. So when he was in the emergency room I asked him about his dad. I told him that he’s got to call DYFS of something. That didn't make him happy because he had big plans and that would **** it up for him. We started screaming and yelling, nothing new. Than i said, “corey your just like your ******* father” and he pushed me aganst the wall than he realizd what he was doin. That was the only time that's ever happened. The problem is he's becomin his dad, drunk and abusive he's so much more than that. He's got goals. He was the one that freaked about it, got in his car, and drove to the middle of nowhere. They found him passed out drunk laughing sayin how he was never going to drink again. I have a lot of questions but now that he's at home again with his dad i gota no what the hell do i do to help him? If this is abuse what will happen to him if his dad’s arrested? Why was he so upset after he hit me and why did he touch me like that? Sorry it was so long this is the summary...
2006-09-22 17:08:31 · 12 answers · asked by Kara T 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Since you obviously care about your boyfriend and you will not easily end your relationship. All you can you is take care of yourself. There is a program called Alateen for you. It is the young-people's version of Al-Anon, which is a program for friends and families of alcoholics. Find an Alateen meeting in your area. You have a lot to learn.
As for your boyfriend, the only thing that will get him better is himself. He needs to WANT to get better. As hard as it is to hear, there is NOTHING you can do to help him. You can tell him about AA, which is a GREAT program that WORKS, and let it go. You can't make him go.
Feel free to e-mail me if you need more info.
2006-09-22 17:23:31 · answer #1 · answered by i_sivan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have alot on your plate. Its really good that your trying to help a friend in need. What i would try to do is talk to him at a good time, like when the two of you are alone and tell him that he needs to get help before its too late. If he continues to live in the house with his father getting beat the next time something happens it might be the last time. I pretty sure you wouldn't want to call the Child Protective services because he'd be upset with you but if your a true friend you would. He'll thank you later because you got him out of a dangerous situation that could be fatal. First try talking to him into leaving or something and if he's still not wanting to do anything try. If u think your parents would house him let him go to your house just as long as he's out of his abusive house. No child deserves to get beat, and i think his father is probably still angry about the death of his sons mom and may be taking out his frustration on his son. But i'd call the CPS (chuild protective services) and have them check up on the house...better safe then sorry.
2006-09-22 17:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by @bsolutely $weet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one!. First of all, You don't need to be in this relationship at 15 years old. As far as the father goes, He should be reported for abuse. Does your boyfriend have grand parents he could move in with?. If so, he needs to do it. Alcaholism is a vicious cycle. It doesnt end until he gets help to stop drinking. You can help your boyfriend by giving him a choice. Alcahol or You. If he loves you, He will quit. It's not too late for him. The greiving father probably needs counseling, If someone can talk him into it. I will pray for you and your situation tonight, Your boyfriend and his dad also. God will find a way to get him out of this abusive cycle.
2006-09-22 17:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in over your head. You can't fix this. The problem is between the young man and his father. You sound like most young girls, you think you can fix anyone because you "love" them. It doesn't work that way. If you have a true concern about his welfare talk with your parents. Have them look into it and possibly report the boy's father. You are a minor with no legal right to do anything. If that doesn't work, talk to your school counselor, they have some clout where child welfare is concerned. If the boy is being abused my his father, a foster home is a much safer place for him to be.
Just because he started to smack you and stopped, does not mean you have a magical hold over him. Sometimes they don't stop.
2006-09-22 17:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by pleeks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah - you need more advice than a bunch of amateurs can offer.
1) never get into a car with your drunk BF
2)His main male role model forms what he is going to be like. He must want to not become like him, he must spend the effort. He may change, he may not.
3) You are asking this on the religion / spirit area - I assume you have beliefs in a good God, Pray that your BF will be transformed by the power of God.
4) sorry I can't help you about the dad situation, but remember you have God on your side
2006-09-22 17:14:53 · answer #5 · answered by Slave to JC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to help him you have to convince him that drinking is not gona work it never does if his dad gets arrested he'll probably be moved to a foster home or with his family members he was upset because he knew he was becoming his father he touched you like that because he is used to doing that when he's angry its what his father did and its how he's used to handling situations in other words its not his fault he just caught himself before he did something like his father might do and strike you when he realized that he was acting like his father towards you it caused him to get drunk because thats his way of handling things
2006-09-22 17:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by ashie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dumb KID. The only thing you should be focused on is your future and not some peel head *** boy. Your 15. You wasted your life typing this long *** email. Don't you have home work to do? where is your daddy? You probably don't have one with the potty mouth you have.
2006-09-22 17:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by louisboyd@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs 'Alateen.' its the teen group of Alcoholics Anonymous, helping teens with alcohol related problems.
2006-09-22 17:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by Bronweyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAVE to try and help your friend. He desperately needs help. Tell a school counselor about his situation & follow up on it.
2006-09-22 17:11:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the cycle repeats itself...he's beaten so he becomes a beater....you've got a big one on your hands here...I'd play it really cool and careful...and don't hesitate to call 911.
2006-09-22 17:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋