Okay so this is kind of complicated and I was really hoping that you guys could help me! There is this boy at school that I have had a crush on for the longest time! He is really cute, smart, funny, and extremely nice! About two years ago (6th grade) we started to become really good friends we would hang out all the time at lunch and e-mail all the time. I had liked him for a while before that but nobody new or so I thought. Last year (7th grade) a girl that I go to school with told him that I liked him I was really upset but what really stunned me is how she found out! After that I talked to my mom and she told me to play it low key aka if he talked to me talk back but don’t just go up and talk to him all the time like I did before because it might scare him away. So I did just that and he just stopped talking to me completely!!! I felt so rejected L (that was more toward the beginning of the year than towards the end) so the whole year it was really awkward between us and at the end of the year there was a big school dance and we rented out this really nice restaurant and there was dinner and of course dancing. Now normally I would have asked him to dance just because he is a friend but I got really nervous and chickened out!!! on the way home when I was talking to my dad about it he gave me this huge lecture on how if I really want something to happen I have to go after it and not just wait for it to come to me because it most likely won’t. I know he is right but I just don’t know how to approach him. So anyway over the summer he started e-mailing me again, I was so-so happy we would talk for about an hour every day. So I figured that when school started we would be friends again but I was so wrong he won’t talk to me at school! The most I can get out of him is a hi. I really wish that we could be friends (since neither if us can grp. Date until we are 16 and single date until we are 18) and hang out again but I have now idea how to make that happen without scaring him off again. He is a very very shy guy and I am really shy too. So I think that that might be a big factor! Thank you so-so much for reading this I know it was really long but you have no idea how much I appreciate your help!!!!
2006-09-22 17:01:11 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are so young...I wanna say don't worry about boys but that isn't realistic...
Personally, I think you should have never changed the way you acted towards him in the first place...I just feel he's reacting to the sudden change in your friendship...which seems mostly your fault. I know its embarrassing to have your feelings blurted out to him like that, but there isn't anything you can do except be upfront with him since your feelings are no longer a secret.
Do you two still talk away from school, even a little bit?
Try and get him alone and talk to him. If you guys were as good of friends as you say then he won't be a jerk...he'll listen.
Don't bare your soul right off the bat...feel him out and try to get him to tell you why your friendship has dissolved...Be warned, you may not like what he has to say and it may hurt your feelings...
Be sure and tell him that you backed off because of what he was told and you didn't want to make him feel funny about your friendship and were waiting for him to either move things forward or keep the friendship as it was...that you weren’t expecting to loose him as a friend and didn't / don't want to.
Look, relationships are hard as an adult and sometimes harder as a teenager because of your inexperience (not that experience always helps).
In the end all I can say is that you need to be true yourself and try to follow your dads advice. He's right if you want something in life, no matter what it its, you have to fight for it...the best things in life don't come easily.
Good luck...
2006-09-22 17:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by American Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At his age his probably just not ready for a girlfriend. His probably afraid that his guy friends would tease him about you and they may had last year since your friend told him you liked him. You should play it low key like your mom said. No offense to your dad but he is a male and for guys that advise is great, but with a girl guys don't always like them to be so stright forward. Maybe if you e-mail him again just tell him " Look I know that my friend told you last year that I had a cursh on you and Truthful I did. But I never meant for you to be put into any awkward postion. I had no idea she had plan to do that because I hadn't even told anyone. I'm really sorry if it upset you and I hope we can always be friends. Right now I'm very confused about how to act around you because you began e-mailing me again over the summer and now you hardly talk to me again. I don't want to cause you any problems with your friends but if we are friends I'd like to know up front , then to go back and forth . If things have changed between us please tell me. I just hope you still want to be friends." Then no matter what happens from there you'll need to except what he tells you. And what he tells you may not be what you want to hear .He may tell you he dosen't want to be friends anymore. The thing is what ever you ask him in an e-mail him or just ask him. You may get the boot. And your going to feel rejected badly. But at least you will know where you stand with him and you can move on to other things besides waiting on him to come around again. Nice or not he may not give you the answer your hoping to hear. In High School thing could change again, he could suddenly want you go out on a date with him or be his girlfriend. But don't beat yourself up over this now his still young and boys just don't mature as fast as girls do. Be glad you know where you stand with him if you decide to ask him in an E-mail him or if you decide to just ask him. There maybe another guy out there that likes you right now but because your so caught up with this other guy you haven't noticed him.
2006-09-22 17:53:11 · answer #2 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can just ask what's up. Tell him that he is really confusing you. Or you can make it clear that you dont have feelings for him (even if you do). Just show him that you want a friendship. Maybe if you move on to another guy he will realize that he wants you and try to make a move. Stay friends with him, just make it clear that you arent holding out exclusively for him. If he continues not talking to you at school then drop it and move on. Not fun, i know, but there isnt much more you can do.
2006-09-22 17:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a very shy guy myself, especially when it comes to ladies, I'm so shy my throat closes up around you's. It is very hard for us shy guys to meet woman, specially the one's we really care about. When a lady we care about approaches us, it does not scare us away, rather, were unsure if the lady is actually showing genuine interest in us, or if she was just being friendly. I can tell you from experience your friend is probably confused, specially since someone else said you like him, and you have not conformed it, and he's to shy to approach you. Us shy guys need you ladies to approach us, or we'll be alone forever, go for it!!!!.
2006-09-22 17:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sentinel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you are e-mailing back and forth (if you still are), you should just go for it in an email...you dont want to be sittin there thinking for the rest of you life "what if i had just gone for it", if he says yes then you are set and very happy, if he says no, then its not the end of the world...someone else will come along that blows your mind away...so just go for it and see what comes out of it
2006-09-22 17:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you didn't scare him away.... you just freaked him out, in a nice way.... maybe he freaked out because he already know that you like him... and maybe he has the same feelings for you!!! there are guys like that... eventhough they like a girl and the girl already told their feelings to them, they might get scared and conscious, and trying to avoid you because he might turn you off with some of his actions, and they dont want that to happen! and if you are there he maybe tongue-tied coz he likes you! so, maybe he thought that if he cant talk to you personally, he tries to talk to you online or in cellphones... coz i'm kinda like that... i'm braver online or in cellphones than talking to him personally... hope you understand me!!!
2006-09-22 17:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by o0psi3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not sure if i understand what your asking!
2006-09-22 17:04:51 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ Sunshine ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋