still love her, more than anyone else i ever dated. she dumped me 5 yrs ago, and i told her she will have to come see me if she wants to reconnect. we remain friendly and i used to visit even after we broke up, as i am close to her and her mother. stopped visiting her last year since i needed to concentrate on my own love life.
she called and said she loves me, first time ever, and wants to date and maybe marry, have kids. she has yet to come see me and i refuse to visit her, on principle. figure if she really loves me she will start showing me what i always showed her- love, kindness, attention and affection. still waiting, but not holding my breath.
i still love her but do not want to be married to someone who i fear cannot show love and affection, starting with a simple visit.
what should i do, i have already decided but just want to hear your honest opinon.
plz= honest answers only.
2006-09-22 16:52:22 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good answers so far. varied and honest.
i should also tell you she was the most contentious girl i ever dated.
2006-09-23 06:45:05 · update #1
btw= 5 yrs. ago she left me because she was bored and wanted to date other men. i had to take her out midweek for a break up dinner, and force her hand.
we had a very romantic last night but i told her that "if we could ever come to terms you would be loved for a lifetime, but you must come find see me." she never came to see me, even after she told me she loved me. her refusal is answer enough. good-by, my sweet.
i refuse to spend the rest of my life with someone who cannot show me how much she loves me.
2006-09-28 18:20:36 · update #2
It sounds to me like you are a very level headed guy. Good for you! You have given her ample time to put up or shut up. If she is serious about a relationship with you, she will come to you. It is time for her to put some effort into it if she is being honest.
I hope she comes to see you real soon. You sound like a great guy. Good luck
2006-09-22 17:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still have resentment for her dumping you then you should not try to rekindle the flame unless you know you really love her and you two could make something happen. Then again you did say you can not show her any love and affection so therefore leave it alone. If you showed her love and affection once before and can no longer do it then what is it? Nothing right. It is like starting over and if you start over you definitely don't want to jump into a marriage. I am saying no, but if you want to try(because it is your choice) then date her and she needs to come to you and show you. Let her show you love therefore you can see what she is about as well and where her mind is.
2006-09-23 00:00:31 · answer #2 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My honest opinion is that u are both playing a game, waiting to see who's going to give in first. The fact that you're basing her love for u on the mere chance that she shows up tells me u don't really know her intentions and therefore don't trust her. Well, I can't say I blame u. Afterall, she was the one who walked out on u before. Without knowing why she left u, I'm in no position to tell u if it's a good idea or not and this is all going to be up to u. Realize though that she was an ex for a reason and if u both havent' learned from your mistakes, I can see this as a case of history repeating itself. U decide if it's worth it.
2006-09-23 00:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you want? If you love and WANT to be with this woman, then you need to do EVERYTHING to make it work. Playing hard to get is satisfying, but if you WANT to be with her, then it's counter-productive. Love HURTS, as the song goes, and you sometimes have to put yourself out there and bleed for it. Ever see the movie Say Anything? Watch it. Watch what he does to win back the woman who DUMPS him cold turkey. Ever watch Valley Girls? Same theory. Love gives....love suffers, etc.
HOWEVER, you also have to respect yourself. Let her know exactly how you feel about her, what you wish to happen between the two of you, where you are, and when you're available. Tell her that you are wounded and reserved and nontrusting, and that you're trying your best but can't help it. Then let HER do the calling, and if you're available to see her when she asks...say sure. Make it known that you will, in the mean time, live your life as best you can. Then do it. Poor guy..I feel for you.
2006-09-23 00:02:02 · answer #4 · answered by maynerdswife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a long messy thing ...so the short answer is no!
She has stepped in life and wants you help to get it off her shoe. She see's you as stable and caring because you kept the "Candle" in the window burning for so long ..... She will take you for granted. Just when you think things are gonna go you way. She left ... because it wasn't right for her ..... Just be friends and Do Not Date!
If it was to be it will be.... don't rush...just be friends and she if you can figure out why the sudden interest ... Sorry ... but almost everyone had a hidden adjenda.
Be careful ... Good Luck !
2006-09-22 23:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this question. Do you think that she really cares about you or is just saying that she loves you so you will not get over her. Some people are like that. If I gave her another chance I would take it slow to make sure she truly appreciates and loves me. I would make sure she was in it for the long haul and not just because she happens to be in between guys right now. Remember as much as you love her you deserve someone who loves you back.
2006-09-22 23:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you think she needs to come to you but she did take a big leap in telling you that she loves you and wants to be with you if you honestly love this woman do not let foolish pride stand in your way she has opened the door do not let it shut over who is going to visit who first... Good Luck
2006-09-22 23:55:55 · answer #7 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are both ridiculously stubborn, hard headed people. Find someone else. This won't work.
2006-09-23 00:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh, don't lead her on if you're not interested in getting married, having kids, etc. etc.
2006-09-22 23:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thread with caution, she is an x, she didn't mind when she walked the first time
2006-09-22 23:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by blue_eyed_southernman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋