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im a 29 yr old male and im really really shy how can i not be shy. and where and how can i find a girl. im tired of being sinlge. havent had a realtionship in over 3 yrs and just lonely :(

2006-09-22 16:21:39 · 22 answers · asked by texasdaddy2009 3 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

22 answers

Practice being more social by getting involved in more social activities. Take special interest classes on topics that interest you, or join a bookclub, or dancing lessons... whatever. Just get out more and get involved and make an effort to reach out to other people there. Take baby steps at first, by starting with situations you feel most comfortable with. Then start challenging your self by taking bigger risks.

Good luck!

2006-09-22 16:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by HoneyB 4 · 3 0

There are ways, so don't worry -- you'll do it! For one, I think that self-acceptance is important. So instead of hating yourself and resisting your shyness, know that you're ABSOLUTELY ok, even if you act shy sometimes. You can get books on how to overcome shyness -- there are quite a few good ones, and all of them suggest exercises. Sometimes the exercises are challenging, and you can't envision yourself doing the most challenging ones. Just remember: As you advance, your mindset changes, and you're able to take on new challenges that at one point seemed impossible! Everyday I find myself doing things that the formerly shy me would never have dreamed of doing. Finally, I think that meditation is important for everyone, not just shy people. If formal meditation (sitting down and being quiet) isn't your thing, you can just try mindfulness (just being present and aware and quieting your thinking mind). This forms the basis of self-confidence, letting yourself know that you're ok and don't need anyone's approval, and that peace of mind is always just a breath away. I can't tell you all the ways meditation will help you on your journey -- it's hard to see until you get into it.

2016-03-18 00:12:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/Mtgex

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.

2016-02-11 16:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

The only way to get rid of shyness is to get used to yourself talking. If you have friends, just think, you got them from communication.Even family, it's all comfortable communication you have. Be that way with a girl you think you like, go up to her and talk to her, the worst thing she can do is reject you, yeah rejection hurts, but it doesn't last. But anyway, just start practicing communication, try to come out of your comfort zone and get used to being there, eventually you may come to attain a control over the troublesome aspects of your personality that you dislike.. As to where to find this girl your looking for, try thinking of all the public casual places you know, I'm sure you could think of at least one.

2006-09-22 16:28:50 · answer #4 · answered by caitymercede 4 · 3 0

dude...why stop being shy....that's your character man...!
if everybody are cool and macho, or whatever....then we must be living in heaven or the other way around.
Look.... if you that shy, go to a shy chatting forum.... on-line love may suit you well..... or maybe you just being too choosy.... let loose a little maybe there's someone in the neighborhood..

2006-09-22 16:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by pheobe 3 · 3 0

Internet chatting and dating works really well in 2006. You can hide behind the computer until you get to know people a little bit.

And don't forget: Take a chance once in a while. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

2006-09-22 16:27:30 · answer #6 · answered by Ivan 5 · 2 1

Are you just shy with girls, or in general?

If in general, try talking more with everyone. Talk to some girls with no intention of asking them out, to take the pressure off. That should help build up your confidence & extend your comfort zone.

2006-09-22 16:28:46 · answer #7 · answered by John's Secret Identity™ 6 · 2 1

Hi there,
There are many books and resources about anxiety, social phobia, etc. (I think I bought all of them). A good resource you can try is this online program (audio files ebook). It's helping me a lot (I suffer from sever anxiety disorder myself). http://www.goobypls.com/r/rd.asp?gid=296
Best

2014-08-03 07:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Dude. I used to have the same problem. It's not shyness. It's fear of rejection. We all get rejected in our lives, some more than other. What you have to realize is that it's going to happen. And when it does, keep your head up and keep pushing. She's out there man. I found mine. I guarantee you'll find your. Keep your head up and your stick on the ice.

2006-09-22 16:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 6 1

Don't be afraid of being rejected, the worst that could happen is she says no. If she does just try again, thats what dating is anyway.

2006-09-22 16:24:41 · answer #10 · answered by Sazziable 6 · 4 0

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