My daughter is 10 and in 5th grade. She has always brought home honor roll. This year her first progress report was 2 d's one F and 3 A's. I grounded her from phone, TV, and no friends over until her grades go up. She is in Cheerleading and Girl Scouts and I let her participate because the team depends on her (if her report card is the same she will be pulled from the team). She cried and was very disappointed in herself but says 5th grade is just hard. It shouldn't be hard if she grasped 4th grade as well as her grades showed she did. Am I beeing to hard on her?
2006-09-22 16:20:54 · 32 answers · asked by azile_wehttam 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Well, my daughter was in softball last year, had practice every day and still did girl scouts and community service is a big deal with me so she was pretty good at dealing with all the extra-curriculars last year. I didn't want to let her try out for the cheerleading squad but she begged me, promised her grade would be okay, we came up with a schedule for juggling everything. I am VERY involved with my kids. I'm a single mom and have been very fortunate to have a good job that allows me to keep my kids numb one in my life. Her teacher said that homework and classwork make up 60% of her grade. Tests take the other 40%. It her classwork that is pulling down her averages. Every other page says "follow directions." When I sit down with her to figure out a difficult math problen she laughs at how easy it is when she takes her time. Her grades aren't the most important things to me, but dropping from A to F's and D's....come on now..ist here really a GOOD excuse for that?
2006-09-22 16:56:13 · update #1
NO! You're being what I like to call a good mother. There's a terrible shortage of them these days. I think what you've done was extremely appropiate. You took away her priveliges and gave her an incentive to raise the grades (because I'm sure she doesn't want to have to give up cheerleading!) If you let her slide now, things will only continue to get worse as she gets older. She needs to know that you won't tolerate poor grades. Bravo on your good parenting!
2006-09-22 16:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by K M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay on top of her and make sure she is doing all home work and doing it correctly. In 5th grade you should know long before report card time that there is a problem . Speak to her teacher and ask her to send you a note or email once a week regarding your daughter's progress. Ask the teacher what she feels is causing the problem. Your daughter may need extra help or there may be emotional things causing the grade drop. I think you are being a little too tough on her considering it is just 5th grade and you don't really know the cause of the bad grades. If you knew for sure there are no emotional causes and she is totally capable of the work and just not applying herself that is one thing but won't you feel like a heel if you come down on her like a ton of bricks only to find later she was trying and needed more help ? Investigate further and get as involved in her school work as you would her extra curricular activities.
2006-09-22 17:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not being toohard on her. Even if all you demand is her best you know this is not her best. If she's having trouble in certain areas she could ask the teacher. I think you were right to take the tv and phone away. If the work is harder she needs more time to concentrate. Homework gets harder in grade five. It takes more time to do but she may as well get used to it because it's not going to get any better. You know she's capable she just needs her focus changed. Don't let her get lazy. Kids will walk all over you if you let them! My son is in grade 6 and we went through the same thing as you last year. He has a set homework time after school and that's it. Nothing else til it's done and checked.
2006-09-22 16:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by Jodi M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really do not think you are being hard on her at all! Bringing home honor roll and then bringing home bad grades is maybe a sign of growing up? I'm not sure but I think that now she has more than just school to focus on. Like friends, maybe boys, and alot of other distractions that are pulling her away from school. So if your punishing her and not letting her see the distractions, she will probably learn from that and know that education comes first. I do agree that if she wizzed through 4th grade she should be able to wizz through 5th grade too. Let me know how everything goes.
2006-09-22 16:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by Smartees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Teacher I would suggest that you first find out why her grades have dropped. This can be done by contacting her teacher and have a conference to see what can be done to help her. Second, all parents should be involved in their child's education. Have tried to help her with her homework? I agree that there should be guidelines and restrictions if they are just slacking off and being lazy. A little encouragement goes a long way. Take time first and find out why? The discipline if needed or obtain needed help to get her grades up. I may add that you can have a set time to do homework and only after it is done then follow up with rewards - phone, TV, friends.
2006-09-22 16:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wuki 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope. You're not settling for average, and no matter how much she hates you for this now, or how unfair it seems, average is not a heathy goal. My mom had a rule: A, B, Do It Again. (I was homeschooled through high school.) As such, I do not accept low grades from myself in college.
Advancing in grade is supposed to be hard. If it was easy, she wouldn't be learning anything. If she truly cannot understand the material, have her show you what she doesn't understand and the situation should be rectified.
Accepting low grades is what contributes to the dumbing down of America. If we settle for second best in our education, then you have kids graduating with diplomas that they can't read. Good for you, and keep demanding good grades from her. (Just don't take it TOO far... you don't want the police knocking on your door!)
2006-09-22 17:13:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOM....... It's only the beginning of the school year. See most parents fail to realize that we all need second chances. And besides like you said, It was only a progress report that shows you were she stands so far. I have to side with your daughter. I would have cried to. Just reading your text made me nervous and I'm grown. When our kids go to school, it's like us going back to school also.. This year I'm in the 3rd grade(well my son is) but I had to get focused just like he did. So I say that to say, it's like we went back to school together... And their teaching him how to right in-cursive. Something that's he totally foreign to.. And if he don't do so well, I would have to try to understand that PERHAPS it's gotten a little more harder as he go.. And the whole time my son was in 2nd grade he stayed on the honor roll. But anything can happen and if it's not maintain then we have to buckle down together to make sure academically he's were he suppose to be..Good Luck
2006-09-22 21:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by The'Truth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is that my son is pulling this same stuff...in fifth grade, as well. He tests at the 99th percentile in standardized tests, but yesterday his teacher told me he seems to be going "slow."
He gave me this little smile and said, "I can't concentrate." In his baby voice, the one that he uses to try to be cute when he's in trouble.
I told his father and we BOTH grounded him from PS2 and computer games. I think you're doing the right thing. It's what I would do. My son is in a new school and is getting into band and taking guitar lessons for the first time. I think he has been practicing guitar too much. (I didn't ground him from the guitar either, because right now it's his reason for living!) That is my opinion. And, I think he wants to fit in with his new classmates. He is trying to adjust. SURE, I understand that, but it doesn't excuse a bright kid from doing his work in class.
2006-09-23 04:27:04 · answer #8 · answered by mumzii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't being too tough. If kids don't get decent grades they might be pulled from extra curricular activities by the school anyway, so she really needs to concentrate on school. I know in some states kids have to pull at least a 2.5 GPA in high school to be a cheerleader or play sports.
2006-09-22 16:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I commend you for your involvement with your daughter, and the great program you seem to have set up with her to keep her active and socially involved. Be mindful of the pressure to live up to the standard you're setting for her, and let her just be a kid sometimes too, but keep up the good work.
As to the schoolwork. I would sit down with the teacher and discuss her perceptions of your child in the classroom. It's perfectly possible that with her new activities, your daughter has made different friends, and is socializing differently in the new group. Too much note passing, or other distracting activities could easily lead your daughter to suffer in the classroom.
2006-09-23 04:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by farfromfl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋