Whenever I try to test her love, I get a strong feeling that she is not up to me. Everytime she just fails not knowing it. She does not care. Am I acting immaturely or what? She seems to be just sure about our marrital bond but I feel may be I should break it even if it will very difficult.
2006-09-22 15:57:16 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Marriage is more than just feelings, it's commitment. The fact you say she seems sure about the marital bond makes it sound like she's committed to the marriage.. so that in itself is a good thing. I'm not sure how you "tested" her love, but maybe you guys need some counseling or just need to flat out talk to each other to find out what's up.
Or maybe you guys are just falling into a "routine" and though she loves you and is committed to the marriage, life gets in the way and she fails to show it or you fail to show it to her? If this is more the case find ways to make life not so routine. Have you been married awhile and not going out anymore? Maybe start having "dates." Do you still bring her flowers for no reason other than that she's your wife? Trying doing things like that or simple little things that show you appreciate her.
It takes an effort from both of you. I'd say look for the true problems that may exist, find ways to fix and deal with these problems. (If you need help I'm sure there are books out there as well if you aren't willing to try counseling.)
I wouldn't suggest breaking the bond at all, but yeah, that's just my opinion.
Hope this helps, good luck.
2006-09-22 16:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by IAskUAnswer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you try to test her love? If you weren't sure before this then you shouldn't have ask her to marry you. I'd act like I didn't care too. You should be trusting her and her love for you without trying to test her. You sound like you have the problem not her. Do you feel your not good enough for her or maybe your just scared of the unknown. What ever it is I think maybe instead of breaking it off you just need to go get some pre-marital counseling [ both of you] not with just anyone but go see a minister or priest and get the right kind of counseling. They can help you both know for sure if this is the right time or if you both are right for each other. Why throw away a good thing if you don't even know if it's bad.
2006-09-22 23:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are acting immaturely. Testing her love and feeling unsure about your marital bond is your problem with insecurity or self esteem. Stop trying to make her the problem. Counseling might help you.
2006-09-22 23:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
testing someones love is the best way to break it .Im not going to say your inmature but you do have low self worth.and it sounds like your wanting to dump her before she dumps you .you get out of marrage what you put in ,if you treat your wife well ,show her you love her and are giving and caring then you will get it back ,she may have a diferant way of expressing her love than you do but that dosnt mean she loves you less and if you are thinking of leaving then it is you with the problem not her.and these tests are unfair ,how would you feel if she did that to you ,hey Im testing you and you fail..Are you a perfect partner?
2006-09-22 23:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by stephanie n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WTF do you mean "test her love and she fails not knowing it"? How are you "testing" her? What is it she is supposed to do. You need to include details if you want objective answers. Are you from some foreign country with different values? To test someone at least in the USA is immature and the sign of a weak ego. Yes you are acting VERY immature. You do not deserve her.....
2006-09-23 12:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel you need to 'test her love' Thats ridiculous, especially if yall are already married. Sounds to me like you are just looking for an excuse to end things because you are truely unhappy about something else.
2006-09-23 06:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by josh/julie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When something is wrong like this, you STOP testing your partner's love. A marriage needs trust and I'm sensing there isn't much there. Talking to a therapist or councellor (sorry, spelling) might help.
2006-09-23 01:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know about the test to be able to pass, don't you think. Maybe she doesn't know what you want. Try telling her. If all you're doing is trying to test her, you really need to quit and start testing your self!!
2006-09-22 23:33:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Testing her love for you is only setting your relationship up for failure. When you want her to respond or react to your "expectations", you're being selfish, only allowing for things to be the way you want it to be. What do you want from her? What do you want from the relationship? It sounds like you have issues that are your issues, not hers.
2006-09-23 01:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are immature, and sounds like you have low self-esteem, I hope she finds out soon and gets out of this false relationship.
2006-09-23 10:12:05 · answer #10 · answered by Lady X 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋