How do you know you are crazy? If I am and I dont know it what do I do. Do I start acting crazy but maybe I do act crazy and dont know it. ****! My middle daughter came over tonight, we had a fight. I had told a friend of her boyfriend that if he gave my oldest son drugs I would kill him.(the friend of daughters boyfriend) My son how I have not seen in 23 years came to live with me and has been here for 2 months. All he has done through high school and after is do drugs and sell drugs. since he has been here he is doing really well, no drugs (that I know) and is working for the first time in his life.I have two smaller children, 9 and 11. As far as I know I am being a good father. I work for myself, I dont make much money, I am 48 and want to make sure my two little ones get a good education. So I work when they are in school, and pick them up after and do home work. My daugher thinks I should get a real job and be able to give them something (money) when they get older. Crazy!
2006-09-22 15:45:39 · 21 answers · asked by duster360 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
She thinks that telling the drug dealer that I would kill him is wrong, she said it is up to my oldest son to make these chooses. I agree, but he has not been off drugs for very long, and should be in a progame like na . But what really bothers me tonight is maybe I am doing everything wrong, the way I think, I do get angry and thats not fun for anyone. I just dont understand anything any more, maybe she is right, I dont understand, maybe I should just leave get out of it all and be done with it.
2006-09-22 15:50:18 · update #1
From the objective point of view, you're not crazy and you caused no permanent damage. Your daughter will get over it and if she refuses to, it's because she's looking for a reason to be angry. Something isn't right with her if her boyfriend has a drug dealer friend and she's sticking up for him in any way. That is a questionable situation. I think that the best thing to do is to make sure that your son knows right now that if you EVER find out, or even get the suspicion, that he or she is doing drugs, or even has drugs, especially in your home, there will be no second chances-- he'll just have to go. It doesn't mean that you don't or wont love him but that you don't want that sort of thing in your life or your other children's lives. Say it like a friend rather than a father since he is older. Don't sway from it. He may or may not test you. You can't keep him from doing drugs if he wants to do them but you can keep drugs out of your home. You probably should also say something similar to your daughter.
2006-09-22 16:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not crazy. It's only natural for a parent to be concerned about a child who has had a problem with drugs. You might have came on a bit strong with the statement about killing someone, but we all say things we don't necessarily mean in the heat of anger. I think that it's good that you work for yourself. Not everyone is cut out to work under a boss. As far as the money issue goes, if you are making a decent living, that is ok. One of the big problems with society is people's obsession with money. Money cannot buy you the most important things that you treasure. Keep being a good dad!
2006-09-22 23:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by worldwise1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing the best you can so I don't think your crazy for being concerned for your children . I would ask your son to help out with some expenses since he's older and working and you are providing a place to live and such . I hope you find some time for yourself also and I get the impression that a misses isn't in the picture? While that's find and all you need to get out on occasion to let off some steam and perhaps be available to meeting a partner. With kids in school and all the responsibility it's a tough situation for you . Another job may be best financially but I can understand other considerations need to be taken into account also but if the possibility presents itself and you could manage it wouldn't be a bad idea . Good luck sounds like your OK to me !
2006-09-22 22:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are crazy. It sounds like you are a very concerned dad trying to do the best you can. I would also be very concerned about guys trying to sell your son drugs. I also think you are doing an awesome job on putting your childrens education first. Alot of parents emphasize education after the child is older..when its too late. If there is a way you could find a better job earning more money but allowing you to maintain your current schedule then go for it!
2006-09-22 22:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by ~aShLeY~ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did not act crazy(foolish maybe) you acted out of fear that turned to anger. Threatening to kill someone is bad news. If they are dealing drugs there is a chance they may be worse than that and may initiate hostilities against you. I would inform your daughter that being around people who sell drugs or associate with drug dealers is a bad influence on her younger siblings, ( who are very impressionable at that age) and your youngest children, and it is not tolerable. I would also ask her why she is so upset at the fact that her older brother is finally trying to straighten out his life and she is OK with her boyfriend's friend trying to keep it crappy. Your financial obligations/ responsibilities are none of your daughters business and I would tell her that. As far as your younger children go, I wish when my kids were younger I was able to have the flexibility with my schedule that you have. I am sure your kids appreciate the time they can spend with you, and as long as their needs are met, their fulfilled wants will be much more appreciated.
2006-09-22 23:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by curiosity 101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have your hands full. I don't understand why everyone wants money from you. You have someone there that is doing or selling drugs it doesn't souind like a very healthy environment to be in. Why haven't you seen your son in 23 years i just don't get it. It sounds like you are doing the best that you can with your kids. Keep up the good work.
2006-09-22 23:35:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't know you are crazy. Why would you think that anyway? Do you fly off the handle are you easy to anger? If so you may need some anger management classes.
Why is your daughter telling you to get a real job? What do you do for a living?
Sorry but this sounds a bit strange to me. Maybe you are crazy because I don't understand what you are saying here?
Good luck and get some help.
2006-09-22 22:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by floridagrandma 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you have a family you probably would be better off NOT working for yourself - how do you get health insurance for all your kids? What about retirement, etc? I don't think you are crazy, I think it sounds like your older kids are difficult. I'd be pissed too if someone was giving my son drugs - on the other hand it probably isn't good to tell someone you'll kill them if they do something - they can really use that against you.
Is your son working? I hope so. I don't really know enough about the situation to say much more. I wish you luck.
2006-09-22 22:50:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well most people that are crazy don't question if they are or not so you are most likely not crazy :) It is understandable that you do not want drugs around your young children or around your 23 year old for that matter. If he is clean he definitely shouldn't be hanging around people that could potentially ruin that. Threatening to kill the guy was maybe a little to intense. If you are happy doing what your doing in life and you and your kids are happy than you are set.
So no I don't think your crazy maybe just a little to intense in certain situations.
2006-09-22 22:56:47 · answer #9 · answered by artfreak0124 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing a good job of balancing work and caring for your children. If you do a good job of raising your children now, they will not need additional money when they are older. Based on what you have described, it sounds like your middle daughter may be a little greedy.
2006-09-22 22:50:47 · answer #10 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋