10 y.o. is coughing for hrs and feeling body aches. You have medicine that tastes OK...kinda like unsweetened OJ and have no $$ to get anything of the new candy-flavored medicines. Still you know this works. She defiantly says she won't take it. Do you swat her rear/hand and lay down the law since this is a health issue or let the child decide? To answerers: If you think step moms have no rights to basic respect from a step kid and should tolerate being walked over and emotionally abused don't bother answering this one. I don't need your input/guilt trips.
2006-09-22 15:36:39 · 30 answers · asked by zoe_southernusa 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
"Mutchkin" almost got me with that "a 10 yo has rights regarding what she will allow into her body" (paraphrasing). Then I remembered, she didn't want any vaccinations, she told me that if the doctor "better not put that light" into her ear to look at her ears. She doesn't want to eat anything but chips, chocolate and icecream. So if we agree with "Munchkin" we will all have a bunch of tooth-decayed, obese, unvaccinated kids who would probably also be corpses. This may offend the new-age "parents" here, but I think that the only time a 10 yr old can say no is when someone is touching them in their private areas or in a way that feels sexual to them. Other than that they are to comply and that includes taking their medicines. How about teaching them that it's thoughtful to take the medicine so as not to get everyone else in the house/school sick!
2006-09-23 03:41:09 · update #1
You really think spanking will help? Take her to the hospital (just to scare her, dont actually check in)see if that works.
2006-09-22 15:39:18 · answer #1 · answered by johnnylakis 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I go through this with my kids all the time. I talk them into taking the medicine because it will help them feel better, and they'll get some sleep. I also offer a water chaser immediately afterwards to help get the icky taste out of their mouths.
I don't punish them in any way shape or form. Being sick is punishment enough. It's frustrating I know, but not enough to deserve a spanking or a swat on the hand. They're just being stubborn because it's yucky tasting. Personally I don't blame them, some of those cough syrups are nasty. Blech!
You could try scrounging up some change around the house to see if you can get to the store for some of the generic brands. Here at the local Fred Meyer I can usually get the generic brand of Motrin or Tylenol for like $3. Look in the car, great place to find change that you've dropped. If not, then keep trying to talk her into taking the medicine. If she won't, then she won't. You can't very well force her to take it. Just leave her a cup of water so when her throat gets dry and hoarse from coughing, she can take little sips to help make it feel better. Good luck, I know it's hard.
2006-09-22 15:45:49 · answer #2 · answered by jenpeden 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Be sensitive to who she is, and her taste buds. Mix the meds with sugar..that's all "candy flavored" meds are anyway, and leave them beside her bed or something. Tell her you want her to feel better, you know she is suffering, and when she is ready to take the medicine, it will be right their for her..and that you apologize for the way you have been treating her, but that you panicked out of fear. Go away, and give her space to take the meds when she is mentally ready.
Let her know in a gentle and concerned way that it is your responsibility to make sure she is well taken care of, and that if she really can't handle the medicine, you will have to take her in to the doctor. Do not do this to scare her, doctors are not to be feared, tell her this because it is the truth!
By the way, hitting, slapping, and swatting are things you do to insects, not people...especially not people who can't defend themselves, and are sick. Take care.
A 10 year old, heck an infant, is old enough to determine what they put into their own mouths. Unless it's a lifethreatening or serious illness, which you should find out from a doctor..then you need leave it alone. Again, make the meds available, and let her know that you hope she feels better, and then leave her alone.
2006-09-22 21:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by chicalinda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Mutchkin" almost got me with that "a 10 yo has rights regarding what she will allow into her body" (paraphrasing). Then I remembered, she didn't want any vaccinations, she told me that if the doctor "better not put that light" into her ear to look at her ears."
Then let the mother and the father deal with her. Not up to you to "force" her period. Next time you get sick or you find something you don't want to do, let's see how you would re-act if your parents or husband was to force you and bad mouth you for it.
She could easily be uncomfortable with this doctor and she is annoyed by your "power trips" that you seek cuz you are her step mother thinking you are automatically entitled to respect. Have you even thought about explaining why this is taken place. She might just think it is a "normal procedure" that has no point. Try giving some first. I didn't want no doctor looking at my private area's or putting light into my ears if I didn't trust him or her nor know why. Til this day I am that way. Because this child feels different than you, shouldn't mean this child still has to obey your thoughts since you are her "step mother"
"She doesn't want to eat anything but chips, chocolate and icecream. So if we agree with "Munchkin" we will all have a bunch of tooth-decayed, obese, unvaccinated kids who would probably also be corpses."
That is very interesting to assume. Talk about you being a judgmental b*tch. No wonder why she doesn't like you. Everything has to be "you you you" and your way or the highway. Stomping your feet because she is 10 with a mind of her own. Get a grip.
No one, not I, discussed her diet. If she wants a cookie, she must have a carrot first. No carrot, no cookie. Not hard to figure out. Oh, she is 10 year old. A child. I don't know many children who don't want those things. It is up to the parent to help her learn nutrition and you fighting with her (as if you are 10 yourself) is not going to teach her how.
If I was a mother like you, my child would hate me being as they would rebel against (as she is) everything you desire her to be.
"This may offend the new-age "parents" here, but I think that the only time a 10 yr old can say no is when someone is touching them in their private areas or in a way that feels sexual to them."
I agree about the touching and sexual part. I do not agree about the "only time" part. Her body, her choice. Not yours.
"Other than that they are to comply and that includes taking their medicines."
She is rebelling because you are the controlling person.
"How about teaching them that it's thoughtful to take the medicine so as not to get everyone else in the house/school sick!"
Taking medications has nothing to do with other people in the house/hold getting sick. You will get sick no matter if she took the meds or not. It is a spreadable virus that is placed all over the home and school. Just because you get sick doesn't mean it is also from her either. so, don't due the blame game.
There is people out there who do not believe in medication. Are you telling me if she is one of them, you will still force your beliefs on her? Wait, don't answer that. Your actions speak louder than words.
How about you teach her that taking medication helps and not use the forceful "I am boss and you are going to obey me!".
Maybe that way will offend the old' school parents.....right? Since pretty much everything is about spanking and control since it solves everything..........especially thinking a sick child who feels like c.rap a it is warrents a spanking because she doesn't feel the need to take the icky syrup, which won't do much for a lot of people. (points at self....). Even if it did anything and she has school, pretty much she won't focus due to being sleepy which a lot do give as side effect.
As you being a step parent is one role you took on. I give credit for. However, you criticize others’ advice. Think of your own you are giving. You are not doing a good job at figuring this out either. So don't badgerize someone else when you haven't even looked at yourself first.
2006-09-22 20:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe try letting you know you love her and care about her and want to help her feel better? I think this might make her feel a little better and maybe get her to think about taking the medicine. If you push a child at that age(and pretty much any age), they will be defiant. At most ages I believe children will be defiant with a step parent if they have not been in the picture since a young age. So I could only imagine how frustrated this might make you. I would say if this suggestions does not work, tell her fine, don't take it, just keep feeling crappy! It's her decision! You probably just want her to feel better, make sure she knows that too. And good luck. No judgement on my end, you can do what you want, but I think spanking or forcing her to take it will just make her more defiant in the future.
2006-09-22 16:26:24 · answer #5 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When kids are sick, they are not in the best mood .To hit a sick child when you don't know what she has-could maybe do irreparable harm .What if she went into a coma ? For one thing , it has been proved that cough medicine has no value as far as getting over a cold or cough . It merely masks the symptom ; and has been known to make you worse -as it could raise the blood pressure dangerously high .Check out the label on some of that cough & cold. I wouldn't give it to my dog . The best thing for a cough ( unless it is strep -and then an antibiotic is needed along with liquids ) , is to drink a lot of liquids ( except milk , as it causes phlegm ) . Even water will relieve a cough . It doesn't matter if it is hot ( tea) or cold as long as she gets a lot of liquids . If she has a temp-take her to the E.R. or find an E.R. clinic . You never let the child decide what's best for them ; but do let her know that you are trying to help .
2006-09-22 16:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by missmayzie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All that willl happen if you spank a 10 year old is that she will hate you more. I'm sorry you have no money for better medicine but respect is something you earn whether you are the mother or step mother. and the law wouldnt take your side if you force the issue through spankings. some states are trying to ban it altogether.
At 10 they know how miserable they feel. They will have to decide when misery outweighs their hatred of medicine. You swat and you could just reinforce the hatred of medicine even more on a subconscious level.
2006-09-22 15:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by Justme 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To put up with this BS I hope your man is either a multi-millionaire or finer than Brad Pitt! If you are like the rest of us here, neither is true. I say go take a bubble bath or call your girlfriends to discuss what movie you are going to go see this weekend. If the lil heifer dies or gets deadly sick not a court in America would convict you, because you did all that you could and had no support from the girl's azzhole father. Let her get full blown flu or pneumonia and have a big laugh about it. Oh is Joycee actually your stepdaughter? She said you were a horrible person and was all over your azz and she sounds about 8. You might want to check your PC to see if your step kid and Joycee the same person.
2006-09-22 16:32:25 · answer #8 · answered by Book Diva 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, don't spank. I think that'll mar your relationship if anything. A 10 year old girl is tough to deal with. Try pulling the wool over her eyes. Can you make her a cup of tea and put it in? Is there something she loves to eat or drink that you can mix it in? Have you asked her why she doesn't want it? Maybe if you talk to her, you might be able to shed light on why she's being defiant. Try explaining to her that you're only trying to help get her feeling better so that she doesn't get more sick... and can quickly recover to hang out with her friends. Plus let her know that she can take responsibility is making sure she doesn't get her dad and you sick. You'll need to somehow make the medicine her decision. Sometimes you gotta play games!
And what's up with dad??? Why is he taking such a back seat to his daughter? I wouldn't be surprised if her behavior didn't have a direct correlation to his attitude.
2006-09-22 15:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Actually, studies have found most OTC cough medicines to be rather ineffective. Unless it is a prescription antibiotic for treating an known infection, I wouldn't turn it into a power struggle. If she doesn't want to take it, I would offer her a choice of the medicine or tea with honey or perhaps soup. As for spanking her, she'll probably have less respect for you if you resort to violence than if you offer her reasons why you want her to take the medicine. If it's not life-threatening, just let her be.
If anybody needs a spanking, it's the bio father for pawning this off on you.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10777506/
2006-09-22 15:46:17 · answer #10 · answered by jersey girl 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is nine she does the exact same thing . It is so irritating So I corner her hold the meds to her mouth till she takes it . Some times this takes a while . She will stand there and throw a tantrum . But I can stand there just as long as she can . After a few times of that she realized moms not joking . Now she'll take them no problem . But the looks I get are not always nice . Good Luck !!!
2006-09-22 16:24:59 · answer #11 · answered by Butterfly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋