throughout his whole life, I have always showed him how proud I am of him, but now that he is almost 20 years old I feel like that bonding is fading away. I miss all the wonderful things we shared together, all the small talk we use to share and all the things we use to do together like going to the fair, going for a bike ride, play basket ball, catching a movie and hearing the words you are the best mom.
What can I do to regain that bonding? I so miss him!!! I miss having my son in my life. The more I try and the more I explain how we once done this and once done that the more he shys away from me. Why do I get the feeling he is ashamed of me as his mom. What to do? I am very confused and don't understand were I went wrong and can't seem to get out of him of what has changed all this.
2006-09-22 15:30:19 · 10 answers · asked by butterfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I could cry reading your question because I know the same thing is going to happen with my son one day. He's only 4 1/2 months right now, but I can't help but think about the fact that he's going to grow up & leave me one day.
Your son is just starting a life on his own. He has the whole world in front of him. You are left with a big hole in your heart. I don't think you can make him understand a mother's love.
Just spend time with him when you can. Don't smother him & make him not want to come around.
Good Luck & God Bless
2006-09-22 15:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll always be his mother it's just the relationship will change now he's an adult. I found I became more of friends with my parents at this age. You haven't done anything wrong, he's just spreading his wings now he's grown. Don't pressure him. Just suggest him coming over for tea, going tenpin bowling... whatever, that's fun where you can relate like friends, rather than mother and son.
2006-09-22 22:36:24 · answer #2 · answered by kmlloveplant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is not ashamed of you he is just gaining his independence. I have a 21 year old son and we went through the same thing but we still have our chats, but about different things now. Now is his time to find a woman like his mom. so it is time for mom to step aside a little and let him go. He will come to you when he needs you. It might not be as offen as you like but you will have to accept the fact he isn't your little boy any more......He does still love you.....
2006-09-22 22:38:16 · answer #3 · answered by naddy4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have given him everything he needed his whole life, now he needs space. Let him have it. You love him, you've done everything you were supposed to thru his whole life, now you're supposed to let him go. He won't go far, he's not ashamed of you he just needs to find his own way. At some point a man has to leave his mother and cleave unto his wife. He may need some space to find his wife or if he's married maybe he needs to cleave.
2006-09-22 23:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by mommy333 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have not gone wrong your son is just older now and he has new friends unfortunatly as life progresses the young strive to leave the confines of there home they make new friends they start having fun in different ways that they cant with there mothers. You can still have a relationship with him but its not going to be what it used to be
2006-09-22 22:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by The gr8t alien 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know this is hard but you need to let him live his own life with friends his age. i have a son who is 22 and i'm going through something similar. he used to be home all the time and we would do things together. since he started going to a local tech school he has made friends and is rarely home. it hurts but it's part of growing up.
2006-09-22 22:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by Diana K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought for a second that he's not ashamed of you or that you didn't do anything wrong? He is grown and maybe he wants his own life, you have raised him,go have fun.
2006-09-22 22:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by rere 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you did anything wrong. He is simply grown up. He has resposibilities that he has to take care of. Maybe he has a girl in his life. You have to let him go or ask him when he has time to go on a family outing.
2006-09-22 22:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by ANathaniel18 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was younger- I clung to my mom. We did everything together and now..well we barely talk. But we love each other and we both know that. I just don't need her every minute of the day.
2006-09-22 22:38:06 · answer #9 · answered by lonelykuroinu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for him, im sure he doesnt feel the way you say. just ask him, but i know how you feel. my kids are 26, twins 25, and a 23 yr old. they still need me but in a different way from when they were younger , but it doesnt mean they love or need you less. just in a different way, be patient.
2006-09-22 22:33:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋