Ok I need to be able to get my son to sleep?

Question

Ok anyway he stays up to like 3-4 AM hes 12 (Home-schooled)
And Cant get to sleep and when he does he wakes up having a nightmere about being rapped when he was around 4. and sleeps to like 2 PM How do i get him to sleep?

Why would he need counsling? And the docter said its normal for him to be up this late. so uhh dont belive the docter. i mean some kind of techniqe.

AND I AINT DOPING MY SON
X-(

Answer 1

Hmmm... are you home schooling him? Maybe you are sharing a yahoo id with him. Some of your other questions are from the POV of a 12 year old. Just curious.

Answer 2

Start waking him up extra early so he is good & tired at bedtime . Give him a book or Mad magazine to read , and set a limit-then "lights out ". Kids will stay up only as late as they can get away with . Tell him if he abuses the time limit , you will be removing the lamp from his bedroom . And by the way-if he has a TV and/or video games in his room , move them into the dining room; family room or elsewhere . The parent sets the rules . Not the other way around .It is sad & very unfortunate that he was sexually abused . It does sound like he may be using that to get away with stuff now that he likes to be up late . Whatever you do , don't allow him to be a "victim" for the rest of his life . If he likes a snack after dinner , and keeps having the "nightmares" , then tell him you have to cut out the snacks because eating before bed brings dreams or bad dreams......I'll bet that the nightmares slow way down . If he had therapy and doctor feels he is fine ( which it does sound like ) , then reassure him that the past is over and this is a new day . Other-wise he is going to stay in a permanent "victim mode" ; and he needs to know he is normal .

Answer 3

Maybe an option would be to contacts a local sleep specialist. I don't know how common they are, but i know in West Virginia we have a large clinic that does sleep studies all the time. They may be able to help you find out how to stop the nightmares. The other option is to not allow him to sleep til 2. If he falls asleep quite late, then wake him up earlier and earlier so that he gets tired earlier in the night. This will take time, but if you'rew successful you can at least change his sleeping schedule. As for the nightmares... It took me years to get over the same nightmare i had for a year straight. That's more of a mental thing, and really no one understands how dreams work (at least i don't think they do). BUt i would start with changing his sleep schedule and making sure he start going to bed at a decent time. I didn't start staying up til 2 am until college so at 12, i think you're doctor is wrong

Answer 4

First off get him into counseling if he is having a reoccuring dream about something that violently invasive happening to him he needs to work through those feelings and you as a parent need to know if it's an over active imagination or the resurfacing of a real event...

Do not allow your child to sleep until 2 pm even when he wakes with nightmares... Wake him at a normal timme 7-7:30 just like he would wake if he were going to public school He will likely be very tired the first few days but we are all tired when we are changing our sleep pattern... Make sure he doesn't nap at all he is to stay wake from the time he wakes until a normal bedtime 9-9:30...

Help him set a night time routine... Take a warm shower, brush teeth, lay down in bed and read for 30 minutes before turning out the light (offer him a night light) Give him a sleep journal (A notebook to be kept by his bed in which he writes his dream when he wakes up in the night) You will not read the notebook unless he asks you to but tell him he will need to look through it and possibly take it to his counseling sessions it will be invaluable to a therapist...

When he wakes with a nightmare have a routine he will write his dream in the sleep journal, get a drink of water, go pee, then get back in bed to sleep...

Your son is 12 so you should be able to rationally negotiate a bedtime that is acceptable to both of you and a wake time that is acceptable you should be able to devise the routines and make reminder charts for the routines...

You need to remain calm and teach your child the tools to overcome the nightmares while getting him the professional help.... One of the tools a parent teaches thier child is to stand on thier own two feet and overcome things that scare them... By teaching him to cope with the nightmare and get back to sleep quickly you are teaching him fear does not rule him when he is able to face it and take an action to overcome it... ..

Answer 5

Number one, if he was actually raped or molested when he was young he will need some sort of counceling, it doesn't necessarily need to be from a "shrink," but he may need someone to talk to. Look for a local organization like a boys & girls club or possibly a hypno therapist. He may need sopmeone to talk to that is around his age or closer to his age to feel more comfortable.

At twelve I can understand his wanting to stay awake because preteens and teens tend to need more sleep, but they are going a mile a minute and are wound up until the late hours. Try getting him to go to bed by like 15 minutes earlier every night for a week and then if this works make it half and hour for the next week, and build up unitl you get him to bed at a reasonable hour.

Answer 6

Maybe he needs less caffeine and more exercise.

If he is home-schooled... what kinds of physical activity are a regular part of his day? In school, children get P.E. and recess, etc. They are made to go out and run around. Maybe that's what he needs.

Make sure he gets up at a reasonable time in the morning, so he will be sleepy at bedtime.

Don't let him have any caffeine after noon. That stuff can be very hard on kids and keeps many adults awake, too.

Coffee, tea, cola, Dr. Pepper, Mt. Dew, orange soda, and even chocolate have lots of caffeine.

Answer 7

He needs to see someone. It is not normal even my 14 year old nephews don't stay up that late and they have a lot of emotional and psycolological problems. I understand about having the nightmares. There are natural subs for the medication at night, Chamomile tea, sound machine, Etc.

Answer 8

You might find an answer in the book "Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It deals with sleeping problems in kids from infant to preadolescent. It helped a lot with my 2 year old, maybe it can help your son.

Answer 9

I was going to suggest a little dose of Children's Tylenol, but it sounds like you've got a real dysfunction problem. Why is your son staying up? Are YOU ? Is your house full of a bunch of partying fools? Does DAD come in all hours of the night? Why are you home-schooling and not letting him have friends? You all do need counseling, but will you get it?

Answer 10

Sounds pretty bad, a counselor/psychiatrist may be in order, there are quite a few non-addictive sleeping aids available these days....
Seems like some sort of serious positive action is in order.