Honesty is the best policy, right?? Answer my Q!!?

Question

So I tell people when things bother me because I'm trying this new thing where I stop trying to hide so much. I have nightmares sometimes about how I saw my friend died in an accident so when I'm having a rough day because of that, I tell people so if they ask whats wrong. I don't want sympathy because it is was it is, you know? I just don't like waking up to that scream and it messes my day up so if they ask, I tell. There are some other things about my life which have been hard as well, as I'm sure is the case with anyone who's ever lived. But if people ask, I tell them instead of trying to keep it from them - I want to be up front. This is me, you know??

Q - is this considered being full of baggage?? I know I have some just like everyone else, but I figure that being up-front is better than hiding it and then letting some guy have the surprise of his life, right?? I'm just sick of hiding it all, is this so wrong?? Should I be with-holding such info??

Answer 1

you answered it ur'self. just be honest face it and it may help you stop have-n nightmares. just say what you did in the question, people respect that. and chances r if you say it to them once they wont ask ya again if they see ur have-n a bad day wish u very good luck

Answer 2

Honesty is the best policy but there is also things such as TMI and boundaries.
If the "people" you referred to in your question are close personal friends of yours it's okay to let it all hang out. That's what friends are for.
But if we are talking about revealing your nightmarish revelations or insecurities to any stranger or casual associate who has the misfortune to ask you how you are, we have a problem.
Before you unload on some one ask yourself - Am I telling them this information because it is something relevant they need to hear right now or am I playing the misery likes company game? Though it sounds like you have more problems than most ( and I am sorry about that) everyone has there own personal issues so it can't always be about you.
My opinion on on the idea of the honesty policy is, if it does more harm than good - It's bad. Keep your mouth shut. My mother would often say , "Sometimes if you can't think of anything good to say, just don't say nothing all." You don't want to be thought of by others as a black cloud always coming around to rain on everyone's parade.
And that's the honest truth.
Talk with a professional if you feel your problems are becoming too overwhelming.

Answer 3

Yes please be up front , but you don't have to tell everybody everything try to kick yourself out of that funk mode and change the direction of the way your feelings are. See I just learned something women let their feelings do teir thinking fot them and thats what gets us in so much trouble, it takes alot of training to not do that.Please if you are stop listening to Tom Lankis He is an overconfident, overpaid underlaid chauvinistic pig that doesn't have an inkling of feeling except for the tip of his penis. Sorry about your friend, My best friend was murdered when I was 15 yrs old and yes I have been threw the ringer of life myself but I am stronger and much wiser now at 27. Keep your head up and your thoughts out of the gutter things will get better and the nightmares will move on.

Answer 4

you are 100% justified in your up-front demeanor....but you need to realize that people ASK whats wrong most of the time out of kindness....to SOUND sincere (not saying that they are scum).....they really don't expect you to spill ur heart and soul....not many people can handle your problems and thier own as well.......... try only releasing your thoughts to people who know you well... new guys/gals who enter into your life want to know the fun, exciting aspects of your life before they hear about the hell u have witnessed......dont think of it as HIDING but just putting it on reserve for people who truly can help you overcome it. LIKE you said we all have our problems, some more than others, but the key is to know when and with whom it is appropriate to discuss such matters....


i will pray that you will stop having there nightmares my dear

Answer 5

The more you talk about your problems the more you will heal. It is not wrong to tell people what is going on with you if they ask but make sure you trust the person you tell or you might find that you have more problems because of the way they handle the news.

Answer 6

it's good to be honest but it's better to have some self dignity. you don't have to spill every little detail, just tell ppl you're bad day is a result of things in your past (or present) that are just bugging you. think about how you would feel if you asked someone if they were ok or whats bothering them and they spilled their guts out to you about their sex life or lack of, their alcoholic father, mother, brother, etc., molestation etc. it would be overwhelming and more talk for a professional. too many times ppl think by purging their mind of bad stuff that it helps and its does to some degree but ultimately it hurts the person telling it all. see the advice of a professional and understand everyone in this life has problems and issues and part of growing up is just learning to deal with them, not hiding or holding them in but dealing with them so they no longer control your life.

Answer 7

This is considered as a person who has never gotten over her issues in life. It's nice sharing your problems with your guy but it also depends on the person you are seeing. Some guys like to feel empowered and by telling him your problems, he feels that. Some on the otherhand, has been in a lot of drama in their lives that they tend to think of that as excess baggage.:)

Answer 8

First off, sorry about your friend. Couldn't imagine. Secondly, you shouldn't have to w/hold your feelings. Your feelings are your feelings. But, some people might start feeling like you are looking for sympathy, even though you say otherwise. Like, hey everyone, look at me. I'm sad...and everyones attention is turned to you again. This gets old to people very quick. I'm not saying that's how you are, but it might be how people view it.

Answer 9

Noo you shouldn't hide how you fee. If you do it will build up inside and you will explode in a fit of rage. Talk to someone. Preferably a counsleor. Everyone needs help sometimes ya know.

Answer 10

that why so many peolpe have uclers cause they hold so much inside of them instead of releasing it which is better and find you a good sounding board who will listen to you good luck no you are doing the right thing

Answer 11

Honesty is good. Make sure that you are selective about WHO you tell. Some people are really shallow & can't handle the truth. Your real friends are the ones who can listen & give you that shoulder you need.