my grandfather died 8 days ago. he was 90 and had alzheimers so it wasn't unexpected. he was the first person i've ever known to die and i had a really hard time for the first few days and cried nonstop. but now i'm beginning to get back to my old self and am starting to think about it less and less. how long is it going to take to get over this? and am i getting over it too fast?
2006-09-22 14:04:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
There are many things that determine length of grief work. I'd say for many people about a year, not all of that time will be severe grief; but on special days, birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas...I don't think you will be able to just "get over this."
Grief is work.
2006-09-22 14:09:31 · answer #1 · answered by EW 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you will get over this faster than maybe another relative's death because you probably did a fair amount of mourning prior to his death. When you realize someone is going to die, you have more upfront time to address the various issues and more time overall to address issues.
The time it takes to get over death depends on the person and the situation. Your grandfather was 90. He lived a full life. He probably would want to die given the circumstances. Death can be a blessing when Alzheimers is involved so this is an easier situation. A few blocks away from me there was a family with two children. One child murdered the other. You can see where this would be more difficult to deal with.
2006-09-22 21:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on many factors. One being how close you were to the person that passed, what you think about death, and was the death expected. My guess is you were pretty close to him. You loved him. You are sad he is no longer here on this plane. It is a 100% guarantee that we all get to pass on after this plane, but we don't really know what's next. Your grandfather may be feeling relief about passing on and no longer being in an aging body with a confused mind. He may be feeling free and whole and no doubt he would want you to feel good. He had a good, long life and you can be grateful that he was able to see and do many things in his life. And now he is at peace and he would want you to be also. You have his memories and how wonderful that is. Here is a quote I read awhile ago: When you are born you cry and people are joyful. Live your life well so that when you die you are joyful and the world cries. I am sure he was a wonderful man and you have his memories always.
2006-09-22 21:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by caz40 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grieving period varies from person to person. There is actually no "normal amount of time" There are 7 stages that people usually go through not in any particular order.
Look up seven stages of grief.
Grief can be a problem if after 6 months you are still having much difficulty with everyday life. Then you should speak to your doctor. Youre not getting over it too fast, youre doing just fine. You loved him and from time to time you will remember him and might feel a little sad.
2006-09-22 21:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by kari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different. For some it is a very short time, for others it goes on for a few years.
Your grandpa had a full long life, many people don't-and you have had all that time to make wonderful memories. You also have your life to live and it is natural for you to get on with your life.
Do h old on to the lovely memories of your grandfather and honor him by being the person he would want you to be-honest, loving,compassionate, sincere and have fun as you travel the path of life-so much is ahead of you-growing up,job,marriage,family, and before you know it, you will be a grandparent. Talk to family and friends of your memories of him-because of him giving birth to your parent, you now live.
marlyne B
2006-09-22 21:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by marlynembrindle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no time. My mother died on May 5th and I'm not all down and depressed like when it first happened, but it still hurts alot. Some people get over it faster than others and some people never get over it. It really depends on the person. Some people are stronger than others. You are fine. My condolences.
2006-09-22 21:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Qbanita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no time limit on grief, everyone is different. Just be you and don't put a timer on it. Grieving is a part of healing, it's a normal process, in time it fades, it gets easier. You will always feel a certain sadness when you think of your grandfather I'm sure, that is normal.
2006-09-22 21:16:42 · answer #7 · answered by Sharon L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it basically goes throught stages
grieving where your just really sad and that's all you can think about
then it's bargianing where you say you will do anything or give anything to have that person back in your life
then it's accepting where you are still very sad about what happened, but you accept the fact that everything happenes for a reason
my brother died when he was a baby and i know exactly how you feel.
hope you feel better
2006-09-22 21:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by RadPinkShoes0oo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no set time in the grieving process. Look for a church that has grief classes. They help tremendously. You will never completely get over the loss, it just gets easier with time. Always remember your grandfather, and he will live forever!!!
2006-09-22 21:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by Chi_Indy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
agreed with other answer, some poeple never really get over death.... especially dead people , i mean there is still loads of stigmatism. Its impossible to find work, an the accomodation provided is very cramped and sub-standard
dont tell people my grand mother died, i just say i stopped visiting her when she moved.....
They ask where she moved to and will carmly i with just name the cemetary
2006-09-22 21:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by robynbiker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋