What is your favorite joke?

Question

Tell me a good joke

Answer 1

..There was a certain bus driver who hated his job, so he figured he would quit. He went up to the personnel office to resign.
...He said' "I am quitting this job, and there is nothing you can do to make me stay!"
...The personnel manager replied, "Please, let's not be hasty. You are one of our most dependable drivers. We really hate to lose you. What problems are you experiencing?"
...The driver vented his frustrations to the personnel manager. Then came the offer.
..."If you try it just one more week, we'll change your route, give you a new and special bus, and since it is Friday, you can take off the last half of today. How about trying it, for just one more week?"
...Feeling somewhat better about the situation, he agreed to try it for one more week.
...He arrived Monday for work, they gave him his new route, and he was escorted to his new bus. This bus was special in a strange sort of way --- it had all these muppet characters all over it, like Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggie, Cookie Monster, and Oscar the Grouch. Even so, he made an agreement, so he climbed into the driver seat, and off he went.
...At the 1st stop, 2 very heavy women entered the bus. Each introduced herself as "Patty". The driver told them to sit down, and they continued on.
...At the 2nd stop, a lady with a lady with a boy named Ross got on the boss. This lady went on and on and on and on about how great and special her little Ross was. The driver, a little impatient now, told them to find a seat, and they drove on.
...At the 3rd stop, a barefoot man named Lester Sheets introduced himself and walked in. The bus driver reminded him that company policy stated he must have shoes on to ride the bus. Lester begged and begged and begged, saying that the bunions on his feet hurt, and that he had no other way to get to where he needed to go. The driver sighed, agreed to bend the rules, and on they drove.
...The driver look in his rear view and saw Lester picking his feet on the bus. That was it, that was enough for him. He stopped the boss, made everyone leave, and returned to the bus lot.
...He went up to the personnel office, and told them, "I really am quitting this time, and you can't make me come back!"
...They asked why.
...He said, "Because you gave me 2 obese patties, special Ross, Lester Sheets, pickin' his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"

Answer 2

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an
American engineer -- are working together one day. They come
across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of
you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my
son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in
Canada." Pooooof!
With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was
forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall
around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or
Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries..

The American Engineer ask's, "I am very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's
about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the
country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."


The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Answer 3

hey mate, i love this one... tell me what you think.

Two men arrived at a train station and one of them went to go get tickets. When he came back he was laughing pretty hard. The second man asked, "Whats so funny? Did i miss something?" The first man replied, "Well the woman at the ticket counter was so hot and she had huge breasts. So instead of saying two tickets to Pittsburg, I said two pickets to Tittsburg. I was very embarrased but we both laughed it off and she gave me the tickets." The other guy replied, "Thats so ironic! I did that this morning with my wife at the breakfast table. Instead of saying 'Could you please pass the salt?' I said 'You're ruining my life u f'n bi*ch!"

Answer 4

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says" Why the long face"

Answer 5

Q: When Noah was building the Ark, where did he hit the last nail.
A: ON THE HEAD

Answer 6

Q: How many ADHA kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: WANNA GO RIDE A BIKE?

Answer 7

so the pirate walks into the bar..... bartender cracks up and blurts out hey hook you gotta steerin wheel stuck in your fly......pirate says: arggghhh i know its drivin me nuts

Answer 8

425#40^86(55*68-08<>876-56*/86






















































































































































































.............secret imformation-FBI.don't 't tell anyone.

Answer 9

why do women have boobs??? cuz u have something to look at while u talk to them!!! LOL

Answer 10

GWB