I really want to know what you all think (preferably muslims but whatever, I know some of you all just want the 2 points, so have at it). I need advice.
One of my best girl friends is a muslimah and she wears the hijab. I know of a muslim man who’s interested in her. This is where my question comes in. I’ve seen her without her hijab and yes she has a pretty face but her hair is not pretty. I’m concerned because he probably thinks that she has this amazingly long, beautiful, dark hair underneath her hijab, but it’s anything but, and not very attractive. So shouldn’t he know this before he pursues her and tries to marry her? But how can he, if he can’t see her without her hijab? I don’t know what to do. Shouldn’t he know beforehand? Advice please!
2006-09-22 13:50:58 · 18 answers · asked by BananaMana 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Okay folks, no one is saying that hair is the only reason why he's marrying her, so don't do it and don't try to go off about something I never said. But, considering in Islam the man does not get to see her hair until he is her husband, shouldn't he know if this is attractive or not? Obviously hair is a big deal in Islam (and is something that is attractive to men), otherwise it wouldn't have to be covered, right? Okay then.
2006-09-22 14:03:29 · update #1
Okay her hair, how to explain it since you all seem curious.
No, it's not just a bad hair day, she's had the same hair since she was a kid. How to describe it..... she has very course hair that doesn't really grow. She kind of has a longer version of a man's hair cut. Really short all over, it doesn't even touch her neck. It's definetly a man's style hair. I've asked her if she's tried to grow it, but she says it won't. I don't know how else to explain her hair.
And no, I don't think hair is everything. Would you all stop that already. But you all have to admit, hair is attractive to men, so don't even front about it.
2006-09-22 14:11:58 · update #2
P.S. No one said that I was going to be the one who tells him, it's none of my business. She's the one who asked me if she should tell him and that's why I'm asking you all what advice I should give her. And no, he's not going to me about his intentions. It's none of my business but she's the one who asked and I don't know what to tell her. Apparently, some of you all made assumptions about me being some looks-crazed b*tch, who's trying to ruin their possible happy lives, but I'm not. I'm starting to think this was not the place to come for advice. But I do thank those who answered with honesty and the intent to truly give me some good advice.
2006-09-22 14:27:52 · update #3
1.) He's allowed a glimpse at her hair when he comes to ask for her hand. I believe one look is fine just to be sure that they're both suitable or good for each other.
2.) What does hair have to do with love? Shouldn't it be about respect and love and compassion? Or does that not exist anymore? Why do you care about her hair when it's her that's getting married? Shouldn't her heart mean so much more?
3.) It's their life. If he likes her and she likes her, who cares about the hair? Everyone has their own defenition of beauty.
2006-09-22 13:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by falzalnz 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just like hair, there can be other body part that may not be beautiful. It doesn't she shows all that before marriage to his proposed guy. Fact is that every woman(or man) there are lot of positive and negative aspects, So husband(or wife) should be happy with positive aspects and lead a happy life.
By the way, if you think it is important that Husband knows about hair, You can tell her to mention that his hair is short or arrange a meeting with him, with head cover only so he can get an idea how she looks without hijab.
2006-09-22 19:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by inin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sister ,
Very good question. This can be resolved easily Insha'Allah. Typically his sister/mother or his close relative (female) can see her uncovered and relay this back to the man. His female relatives can describe her in detail after they visit her first. This is a 'safe' way of dealing with this so that nothing becomes haram (sinfull). The man can get an idea about how she looks without actually seeing her and its his choice if he would like to proceed or not.
Also, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Physical beauty is important but religion should be the criteria as mentioned by the prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) for marriage.
Very nice song about Hijab:
http://www.lightuponlight.com/islam/modules.php?name=Stream2&file=index&lid=384
Hope this helps.
2006-09-24 07:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Noms 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that looks are important but not everything. Does it matter what her hair looks lke underneath? It is probably because she hasn't worked at keeping it in good shape because almost no one sees it. I don't think he will care since he likes her for her. I'm sure that whatever is wrong with her hair can be fixed. And anyhow, how do you know that this guy will pursue her to the point of marrying him?
2006-09-22 14:03:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A girl's hair is something of interest to anyone in any culture...especially to the girl....if you think it would help, just encourage her to fix her hair so that it will be nicer...I am not sure what is wrong with the hair, but maybe her mother can help her fix it and make it look nice....this will also give her more self-confidence, which will also make her more attractive.
2006-09-22 14:04:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually some sheikhs in Saudi Arabia and I saw it in school books there that when a man asks to marry a woman he can see her hair..other sheikhs refuse this but if he likes her really he won't let her because she doesn't have the attractive hair...
2006-09-22 14:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by mido 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I advice you to start up wearing hijab impressive away. inspite of each and every thing, it extremely is Allah you're coping with interior the tip, and your mom seems to be forgetting that this could displease Allah. additionally, i does no longer purely like the difficulty of you taking a image and having all people else be waiting to work out each and every thing years later. positioned on it now, fact sensible, it is not lots diverse in case you place on it now then in case you do in college. youthful human beings like us look extra accepting of it and adults eem to think of that wearing hijab is a intense social difficulty whilst it extremely isn't any longer. additionally, it extremely is actual extra constructive to get used to it now then later. In college you will alreay have adequate rigidity and hassle than to could desire to hassle approximately wearing hijab. In end: forget approximately mom and tell her it extremely is what Allah needed and then positioned on it!
2016-10-17 11:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys aren't really interested in how well-kempt hair is but the important thing is that she has hair and it looks OK. Guys would be put off if she was bald, that puts off most men but some still are attracted to bald women.
2006-09-22 14:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is this prayer you can do and you'll find your answer in your dreams. I'll tell you later. But yeah i guess he should know. If he is a true muslim then he wont really mind. Hair is somthing that changes.
2006-09-22 13:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by palidinft91 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God law cannot be twisted. you can just tell him. or show him a picture of you when you were young. or show him a picture of another girl that has the same hair as you are. but you know he can't see your hair unless he is your husband.
2006-09-22 13:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋