My wife wants a divorce simply because she is unhappy. I have tried. I just got served today. The lawyers tell me the best I can do is shared custody and pay her. I can not live without my 3 boys 6, 8, and 10. At 50 I can not start over. This was my life plan. If I get the boys I will give her 24/7 visitation. She is free to come and go, date what ever. I don't care. I need my boys. I have no one in my court.
Does anyone know anyone who can help?
On top of this she is going to a women of faith conference in Orlando next week. Would a woman of faith do this??
If you are a speaker at this event I sure hope you address this issue and direct it to all pastors and divorcing women.
I don't think my boys want to live a day without me or their mom.
God please come through...
2006-09-22 13:42:29 · 14 answers · asked by col. mustard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
not sure what to say but I got my boys in custody fight and won so I know it can happen I didn't get any help from anyone you have to prove that the boys would be better with you and you would let her have all vsitation rights
2006-09-22 13:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by jbmasterdragon 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may want to consult your legal counsel or local family mediation facility..the courts can usually help with this. Also, shared visitation may not be as bad as you think....instead of the traditional shared visitation, consider keeping your boys during the week days and letting mom have the weekends, that way, you'll be involved with school, activities, etc. And yes, a woman of faith would do this. Perhaps the conference will "soften" her heart, open her mind and be receptive to working some things out. have you tried counseling? Have you addressed WHY she's unhappy? You've not mentioned anything about your wife or trying to save your marriage...In order to get someone in your court, you have to seek for resolutions and ask for help instead of having a pity party. What have you done to get help with your kids? Who have you talked to? The United Way has a plethora of information and resources, try them as well.
2006-09-22 21:11:55 · answer #2 · answered by bout2befine 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, sad to say I think everyone is correct. If your wife is not an "unfit" parent (by legal standards) the most you can hope for is split custody. As soon as your boys are older they can choose to live with you. Get a good family lawyer and do your best.
I started over at 52. Yes it is hard, but not impossible.
I am sorry this happened to you but there is nothing you can do to keep a wife who just claims unhappiness as her problem. If she would be more specific maybe counseling would help.
Continue to pray. God does not take away our free will and so your wife will do as she wants.
2006-09-22 22:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need some time to deal with accepting your situation. You can live with out living with your kids and your life plan is now changing. You will get visitation rights and an opportunity to have a new relationship with your boys. Put your boys first now and keep them out of the middle of this, in this way you are not losing them. Many fathers have better relationships with their kids after divorce. Focus on their happiness, and work on dealing with your feelings of loss. Christians get divorces too.
I know it is tough right now, and you are hurt and angry. It will take some time and effort but you can deal with this. Seek support from your buddies and family.
Keep praying, and believe there is a plan for YOU.
2006-09-22 20:53:46 · answer #4 · answered by L.lion 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why anyone won't help you, but the best I can do is try to give you some comforting words. I do think that children should never be kept away from their mother, but I also think that a father is just as important. Shared custody, you'll still see them, it's not like their being taken away from you completly. and you have to pay her to help support and take care of your children. You said yourself "I don't think my boys want to live a day without me or their mom." they shouldn't have to live without either one of you, and you admitted that they want to be with their mother too, but you have to stay strong for your children, do the best you can, and if all you can get is shared custody, then just be thankful for that and enjoy every minute you have with them
2006-09-22 20:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by Little Angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what to say because I don't know your situation, but I think you're sad and very upset with what is happening. I don't know why she wants a divorce. Right now maybe shared custody is best. Keep talking to your lawyer and pray and see what happens, alright?
2006-09-22 20:47:33 · answer #6 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your question sounds rhetorical but I'll answer it with a question: Why should anyone help you keep your children? We don't know the full circumstances of you marriage other than your version of it. I don't mean to sound angry or cruel, but you need to do more than write to a Yahoo Answer site to get good legal advice, which is what you obviously need. And don't give up--you love these kids so fight for them and don't expect help from your readers here or God. Count on yourself.
2006-09-22 21:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i truly hope the sites i have found for you are helpful. we all know the hurt everyone feels after a couple splits up. BUT the hardest is for the parent who has lost everything. its NOT fair who ever breaks up the marriage should give up their rights to the children, (unless their partner is abusive or has had an affair,) because that partner is responsable for the up set caused to the children. SO why should they get everything & the innocent partner get nothing. i wish you every luck.
2006-09-22 21:10:09 · answer #8 · answered by KATIEKAT 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am very sorry this is happening to you but you are right your kids arent going to want live with out either of you. it isnt fair but but its life. maybe you guys could get homes on the same streetclose enough that you both could be close to your kids. courts tend to favor mothers in custody battles. se if you guys can work something out that will give you both equal and fair time with them. i hope things work out.
2006-09-22 21:28:41 · answer #9 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I pray for you
Divorce is not the way..Its hurt the children, I ever feel it.
Why she is unhappy? You must find the answer from her..and resolve it. Don't give up. God Bless You
2006-09-22 21:00:47 · answer #10 · answered by cutebluesea18 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋