I will admit..yes sometime in the future i do want to get married and have a family and yes i do think about marriage it would be totaly unnatural of me to not. However i am so uninterested right now because i have things i want to do that i wouldn't be able to do so well if i was married. I also love being single.
There is a guy who is attracted to me but hasn't said anything yet (it's so obvious though) the only thing is...i'm not really attracted to him ( at least his outward appearence because i don't know him on the inside yet) at least not right now. I knew him a long time ago. I just couldn't see my self with him. He always looks at me for a longgg time, but i just really have given (thru my body language) the hint that i do not feel the same way.
I don't want him to say anything about liking me or ANYTHING right now because i'm not ready to deal with that.
Am i being wrong? Selfish? Too focused on my own desires and wants?
2006-09-22 13:17:03 · 12 answers · asked by mountaingirl88 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry this is soo long..i just want serious answers. Don't asnwer if you have nothing nice to say!
2006-09-22 13:17:39 · update #1
I know that i could be commited i just don't want to be because i have other things i want to do.
2006-09-22 13:24:59 · update #2
Whatever you want to do do it, just don't put off marriage too long!
http://www.willyblues.com/
2006-09-22 13:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a person that knows exactly what they want in life which is a great thing. Most people don't even know what they want. You are young once in this life so enjoy it. As for this guy tell him that your not looking for anything right now and that you want to enjoy your independence. There is nothing written that you have to be a certain age to marry. Life is to short and make each and every day special, have fun, you will always have the good memories to look back on and you and only you will know when is the time for marriage. Your not being wrong or selfish it is being wise and having a good head on your shoulders!
2006-09-22 20:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by asia s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfish? Not really. Selfish isn't knowing you aren't interested in marriage right now. Selfish would be dating without being clear that you aren't interested in commitment.
You love being single - good for you! Why not enjoy it, so long as you're up front with the men you meet that you like being single and don't want to change that.
Oops - you're counting on "body language" to tell this guy you're not interested. Someone once said that "silence is a comment too easy to misread." You can't prevent someone from feeling something, but you can let him know that you're happily single, focused on your career, and just not interested in a relationship.
It doesn't have to be a speech to the multitudes. In conversation, just toss in how glad you are that you're single, without ties, so you can do the things you want to do. Then let him make up his own mind what to do with that information. He may ask you out, in which case you smile and repeat it - happy, single, career focused, not interested in a relationship.
It's up to him what he does with that info, how he feels - but make sure that you don't give mixed signals through not wanting to be too direct.
2006-09-22 20:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not shallow to be uninterested in marriage. But you haven't really said anythign about being interested in being in a relationship. You also just said you weren't attracted to a man who was attracted to you.
But like I said, it is not shallow to be uninterested in marriage.
It is only shallow if you are seeing a man who's made his intentions of marriage clear, and you have not. He might be expecting to get married to a woman who is to.
But since I don't think you are seeing anyone, you don't have to worry about those thoughts.
It's also not shallow to be in a relationship with someone who KNOWS you don't want to get married any time soon. That way you have someone to share along in the journey of life, maybe together if your interests cross.
2006-09-22 20:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by o0twiggles0o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's not shallow. you have to do what you have to do to get to the point where you're comfortable with it and ready to. like others have said, don't settle until you're ready for that kind of commitment. being single can be fun, even if you don't have a boyfriend. you can hang out at your single friends' houses and stuff like that. you just keep on enjoying life, because you'll get to that marriage point eventually and it's nothing to stress over! :)
2006-09-22 20:25:19 · answer #5 · answered by jenn w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's selfish or shallow to feel that you aren't ready for commitment. It's better to wait until your ready, and any guy who would say otherwise doesn't deserve your time.
As far as this guy you aren't interested in but is probably interested in you, just say you aren't interested in a relationship right now if he asks.
2006-09-22 20:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by exploding monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you won't be ready till you find the right guy. i never thought i would marry, much less have kids. i got married at 30 and am happy with my husband and my twin boys.
enjoy being single. it is too fun not to
2006-09-22 20:20:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would it be shallow?
You will know when it is the right time and the right
person to marry.
Do Not be in a hurry.
2006-09-22 20:32:00 · answer #8 · answered by Crosscheck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about marriage and don't worry about this guy.
Look for someone that you are really interested in - don't settle.
Good Luck!
2006-09-22 20:20:27 · answer #9 · answered by RT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't explain,it's good you take your time.you can be selfish with you because you are single and childless,you should be doing what ever makes you happy.
2006-09-22 20:22:03 · answer #10 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋