My friends is 21 years . She fill in love with a guy whic her parents do not want her to marry him . They ave their reasons , first he is palestenien ,& her parents are afraid about her future life how would it be? also they are afraid about her kids where they will study college or how they will live with no identity, but she wants him with all his badness, and she ak me if she is right what should i tell her?
2006-09-22 13:11:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's up to her, but cultural differences break up plenty of marriages.
2006-09-22 13:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by Catspaw 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Palestinian women have more rights than women in Saudi Arabia, but the deal with your friend is that she's young and if her boyfriend is older than her her parents are afraid of the fact that she's so young and just getting to know herself in the world. She should wait until she's at least 25-26 to consider marriage to give herself time to finish college and get a few years of working a career under her belt before settling down to marry and starting a family. Parents may have their reasons and for good intentions because they love their daughter to only want the best for her.
I can understand where the parents are coming from because growing up muslim the life is very restricted. You are basically treated like a second class citizen. Sometimes men from these cultures are also very charming and they'll say and do just enough to win over a woman and then when she marries him she's like a piece of property to him. I am not saying this to scare you, but she needs to step back for a moment and think about what she's about to get herself into.
Your friend is 21 years old she's just a kid to the world in terms of making hard core adult choices and decisions that will affect her life and the lives of those around her. The children will be raised muslim, but if this guy is treating your friend well and isnt abusing her then there's no worry. If he respects her enough they will wait until she's at least done with college and has some idea of what she wants to do with her life and start developing herself in a way that will shape who she'll become later in life.
2006-09-22 20:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the palestine do have an identity and a future, if they have studied and prepared, and i don't like to profile, but they usually study and do well. your friend is 21 and i have a feeling that if the person was spanish or black american her parents would still have something to say. you can't pick your kids nose,friends and if you try to keep them from marrying then they will do just that. leave her with her heart, that her mind and soul may find joy in its wisdom for all the nights of her life...
2006-09-22 20:21:12 · answer #3 · answered by lee f 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Que sera, sera. By all means take advice but at the end of the day we know outself best. Follow your instinct. If it turns out well, good. If it does not, you have no one to blame. At cross roads in our life, we do not and cannot know where the choice is going to take us. Doing nothing is not an option either because it means delaying the journey. Taking whatever alternatives will have its bumps and flat patches. Enjoy the journey, fortune favours the brave!!!
2006-09-22 20:20:47 · answer #4 · answered by Tom Cat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her this is her choice and she needs to do what feels right in her heart in the end she is going to be the one who is going to have to live with her decision.
You as her Friend need to tell her that you will be by her side no matter what choice she makes.
2006-09-22 20:25:44 · answer #5 · answered by kirkan1@verizon.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like she is asking for permission to do what she knows is wrong. This is not about race, culture, or anything the fact she is asking, and if you are going to marry someone you do net need to ask any one for their opinion
2006-09-22 20:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should marry him if he makes her happy, because that's what marriage is all about. It doesn't matter what nationality he is, sometimes it is an advantage to marry someone from another culture. your friend must be an open minded person.
2006-09-22 20:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
SHE CANT HELP IT IF SHE FALLS IN LOVE. WHEN SOMEBODY FALLS IN LOVE IT JUST HAPPENS AND YOU REALLY CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. THE PARENTS WILL HAVE TO LEARN TO LIKE IT OR THEY MIGHT LOSE A DAUGHTER. HAVE THEY TALKED TO HER. IF SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY THEN LET HER SEE IT FOR HER OWN SELF. SHE MIGHT LEARN THE HARD WAY BUT THAT IS THE WAY OF LIFE. SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO LET GO OF OUR LOVE ONES AND LET THEM MAKE THERE OWN MISTAKES.
2006-09-22 20:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by betyloveschips 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think they will have a hard relationship. You could tell her that it will be hard, especially living in america, people distrust that particular race, and will always be biased towards her and her children and her husband.
2006-09-26 15:20:23 · answer #9 · answered by duifie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She must consider herself and her kids future before anything , so one day her children doesn't hate her for what she had done with them ....
Plus , I'm really sorry for this but , ... does she really sure he loves her ?
2006-09-22 21:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by shady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she is an adult and capable of making her own adult decisions. I would avoid commenting and getting into the middle of this situation. It is a bomb just waiting to explode.
2006-09-22 20:13:52 · answer #11 · answered by mad 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋