For parents of young teens or anyone else that wants to answer?

Question

Say if you had a young teen 13-15 year old daughter or son, they told you they're not a virgin, they drink and smoke. What would be your reaction?

Answer 1

I would thank them for being so honest with me, and remind them how important it was. I would then have a serious talk about whats acceptable, and whats not. Tell them you want to have open communication, and you don't want them to lie to you, but you have to protect them. 15 is too young to be smoking, drinking, and having sex. If this is your daughter, put her on birth control (unless you're opposed for religious reasons) as she is at her most fertile right now. Tell him/ her all the dangers, and possible ramifications of smoking and drinking, and then IMMEDIATELY get your child involved in a support group, or personal counseling to help him/ her deal with these debilitatiing addictions., DO NOT, "punish" your child, he or she will only lie to you in the future. If they try to refuse counseling, tell them again that you appreciate their honesty, but its your job as a parent to protect them.

Answer 2

Mainly people think this is shocking. but I was in middle/high school not that long ago (3-6 years ago) and this stuff was going on! I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's a stage. I know I drank and smoked, I lost my virginity at 15 too. But I was really upset with myself. I was pretty messed up. Yet I felt PG compared to my classmates. I recommend watching the movie Thirteen. That might help, it might make you upset. I would just be happy they are willing to talk to you about it! Talk to them, help them make good choices. Birth Control. As for the drinking and smoking, make it known that you don't like it in your home. If that's the case, make sure that no one else drives them home. Make sure they call YOU for a ride. Don't exactly punish them, that will make it worse. Make it known you're disappointed and upset about their actions. That kills them, disappointment.

Answer 3

ok does this person live in your house? And you did not know these things? Obviously you cant reinstate their virginity, but you can make darn sure they don't do it again. Drinking smoking? I would basically strip him/her of her freedom. They do these things if they are under supervision. THEY broke the trust, so don't let them tell you that you are unfair. Trust has to be earned back.I'm assuming that they have a moral framework which you have given them, and a good example.

Answer 4

Well, as a parent, I would be happy that they were honest with me. Knowing they were admitting where they were in their life, I would definitely encourage discussions with them about having sex, drinking, and smoking.

Both of my children have blossomed into beautiful, responsible young adults. Once they mentioned any of the things like drinking and sex, I had repeated conversations with them about being responsible and respectful. The more you talk to them, the more they appreciate that you're always there for them and they become more and more free and open about discussing important issues in their lives.

I would also suggest having curfews and make yourself aware of where they are, who they are with, and what they are doing all the time.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I would immediately get my child into counselingthere is obviously an underlaying problem causing them to act out in these inappropriate ways... I would also get them into substance abuse counseling and get them to thier physician to aquire birthcontrol... I do not believe a proper ramification of thier behavior is a child so it would need to be provented while the problems were being worked out...

I would do everything in my power to find out what the root cause of the behavior was and solve the problem while also dealing with the outward signs of the problem (smoking, drinking and sexual behavior)...

Answer 6

I would wonder, "How did i miss this?" Or "How did i let this happen?" Or "Why didn't i see the warning signs?" Do you see the pattern here? When teens end up like that, it always falls back on the parent!!! Behind every troubled teen, is a parent who failed them! Harsh...I know! The truth hurts.....

Answer 7

First I would start with self doubt... where did I go wrong, What could have I done. Then realize that this is not a black and white issue.

Then I would go forward planning intensive times together and try to convince them the errors in their ways. Setting rules and being the enforcer is no good and its only going to get harder from here...

Answer 8

First off to get her to a Dr and on birth control. and get him protection.. If I knew they were already doing it and had been doing it behind my back I would at least want them to be safe about it..chances are they probably wouldn't stop as for the smoking and the drinking I would find out who has been buying it for them or selling it to them and have them arrested.

Answer 9

Wow.... Did this happen to you?!?! If so, there would be some kicking butt on the guy that made my daughter lose her virginity! I would take her to counseling and ground her. If that happened to you, I'm soooo sorry!!!! Good Luck! :]

Answer 10

I wouldn't be angry cause that's what happened to me at that age. I would simply give them a chance to tell me why they did it and ask if they used protection. i think if you ground them or kick their arses they will just get worse, they will retaliate more and you will probably end up losing them.So i would give them the chance to sit down with me and explain everything that is goin on in their life. i hope that helps.