I have a few friends that told their mothers they were pregnant, and their mothers were so happy. I feel horrible because my mother will not be happy at all. I will be 24 when my first child is born, my mother will be 46 and this will be her first grandchild. She has told me recently to wait until I am 30 because I am way too young to have a baby.
My husband is 26 and we have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I have a college education, a career, and I own a house that will be paid off in a few months. We are very happy together and plan to start our family no matter what her reaction is.
I am not sure if she feels she is too young to be a grandma or she thinks I will make the same mistakes as her. She had two children by the time she was 21 and was divorced at 23. I am not going to turn out like her, how can I deal with my mother’s reaction?
Also, how did your mother react about your pregnancy?
I need encouragement!
2006-09-22 11:25:05 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No matter what age you are, telling your parents can be scary! I had just turned 33 when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I are not married (living together.. both of us have been through the marriages from hell but that's another story) and I come from a very conservative family.
We waited a little past the 10 week mark and our first ultrasound to make sure the baby was healthy and since I have a history of miscarriage by 10 weeks. When I finally worked up the nerves to tell my parents, my mom and dad both just said, "We were wondering when you were going to get around to telling us!" That's all that was said and they've been extremely supportive of me, my boyfriend and the baby. They even drove the 1,250-plus miles to spend two weeks with us when Chance was born. He's now 3 months old and my parents can't wait for us to go to Cali in November so they can see their grandson again.
You can't predict how your mother's going to react. I was fully prepared for my parents to be furious but they were probably more excited than I was about the whole pregnancy thing! The truth is, she may already have a suspicion that you are pregnant and she's not ready to be a grandmother. She may have her own fears but all that you can do is be happy and hope she's happy for you.
Good luck and congratulations!
2006-09-22 11:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I was 17 when I first got pregnant. I was so scared to tell my mother. She is the one who sent me out for the test. I drove around the wholes rest of the day once I found out. I didn't want to go home. I finally did and she said...your dad will be disappointed. She was probably the one who would be disappointed. But guess what? Once that baby comes out and everyone sees it's sparkly eyes and newborn skin...no one one is mad or angry or upset. You may even see tears of joy.
Being that you are 24, and have your life put together, I see no reason for her to be angry or upset. You have spent some years together with your husband without children, so you have had your time together. Now it's time to add something wonderful to your life, someone who you can cherish now and who will love you forever...a child.
Just always remember that it's your life you are living, not your mothers. Sometimes we focus too much on what others are thinking and lose sight of our own hopes and dreams. Always hold on tight to your dreams, because they are just that, YOURS. Only you can decide what's right for you, not someone else.
I am now almost 30 and have two wonderful children who love me very much. I was married 10 years and my husband was military and asked someone else to marry him while married to me. She was from one of his deployments overseas. She couldn't speak much english either. I am now on my own, but you know what? My kids are here to love me. So you see in the end, either way, married, or single, divorced...it doesn't matter, because kids are wonderful and put so much love into our lives.
Remember...do what's best for you in this situation because this is a decision you need to make...not someone else.
2006-09-22 11:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What more can your mother ask of you? If your not ready I don't know who is. You just have to explain to her that your life is not hers and will have different outcomes. It is your body, and your choice. Also ask her why she want's you to wait. Does she have a legitimate reason or just becuase she is scared. A life lived in fear is no life at all. As long as you don't expect or need your mother to support you then she should and can't have any complaints. I think you sound like you know exactly what you want. The only thing I would say is maybe wait untill you have some cash saved just in case of an emergancy. Other then that go for it!!!!
2006-09-22 11:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by lunitari601 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I was 19 when I had my first and 21 with my second (though their father and I are still together, 9 years now!), and so understandably my mom was upset when I first told her, it was really hard. But, as time went on she got over it and eventually became really excited and happy! I mean, what are her alternatives, right? It sounds like you have a great start for yourself, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just revel in your pregnancy, enjoy every minute, and your mom will eventually come around. Congratulations to you!!!
2006-09-22 11:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by chelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for your mother, this is not about her. You are married and responsible enough to bring a child into this world. Don't sit and worry about what your mom will think. If you weren't married I would not be saying these things to you. But in your case, your mom needs to butt out. You and your hubby should be overjoyed. Dont take it out on the baby or your hubby because of what your mom thinks. You sound like you have it together for someone your age and I wish you guys the very best.
2006-09-22 11:29:41 · answer #5 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are grown, married, and own your house so whatever decisions you and your husband make about when to start your family is your business. Not to be mean to your mother but you have to live your life for you not your mother. Secondly, I was twenty when I had my first child and my parents were excited for me. I think it is better to grow up with your children verses being to old when your children are teenagers. Good Luck to you and your husband in whatever you decide to do. But always remember your mother will always be your mother and she will love you regardless of your decisions, she may be upset at first but after you have the baby she'll be the first on to spoil the baby.
2006-09-22 12:30:24 · answer #6 · answered by KEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was single and pregnant, she was so sad but supportive. When I was 24 and married and pregnant she was so exited. Her second grandkid!!!!! She died at age 50 and never saw her third grandkid. I'm 50 now and my boys are 26, 21, and 18. I would love to be a grandma and I can wait, though, until they get married! Good luck and congradulations!
2006-09-22 12:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if she is upset at first, the situation is out of her control. lots of people these days are having babies really young - my cousin is 24 and just found out she's having twins! your mom should be thrilled for you. even now, by having one child at 24, you're not pulling the load that your mom had to pull. your mom had 2 kids before she was 21! you sound like you have your life together and your mom should be proud of you!! if she's not happy at first, i'm sure she'll come around once she realizes that she can't do anything to change the situation.
2006-09-22 11:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by mighty_power7 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother thought it was a little early for me too. So she really showed no excitement when I told them I was pregnant. I had my first daugter when I was 21. She was also the first grandchild. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT!! When that baby comes she will be sooo EXCITED! Once the shopping for baby things start the reality will really kick in! Try to make it fun for her too! She'll come around :) GOOD LUCK! AND CONGRATULATIONS!
2006-09-22 11:40:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother wasn't happy when I told her I was pregnant 4 times. She didn't speak to me with my first daughter until she was nearly four.It is your baby, a part of you and your husband. As long as you are both happy that is what counts. My mother still scolds me but it is something she had to accept. I'm sure your mother will be more supportive with time. It is probably the shock that has caused this reaction.
Good luck with your baby.
2006-09-22 11:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by tjjkara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋