please can you help. I am a teen. My problem is this....my Grandmother of whom I was very close to died a while back. I have a few questions of which I was wondering whether anyone could possibly help me with. It's just..........when she was alive she bought me a lot of model horses/toys...my question is: would it be insulting toher memory if I was to continue to play with these after her death???
Also....she was cremated and her ashes scattered in the garden Of Rememberence......I have never been..i have a question....when ashes are scattered in a Garden Of Rememberence are they scattered in EXACTLY the same spot...or spread out.? ..if spread out then how far spread out? Also WHERE (e.g. on what surface) are ashes scattered??? e.g. the grass? or WHERE? can anyone possiblyprovide me with any answers? as this is important to me.
2006-09-22 11:03:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Two things one is blessed with : Grandparents and Pets, both when they die, leave a permanent scar, no time will heal, though it is lessened. The reason, I associated is the reason, grandparents are a persons best and most innocent, giving instead of taking, telling instead of asking, friends, they are always missed till one conks out too.
2006-09-22 11:07:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that your grandma would have a smile on her face, looking down on you from heaven while she watched you play with the toys she bought for you. It's a great way for you to feel a little closer to her too, to remember the great times you had with her. These are important memories for you, don't loose them.
As for where she's scattered, the ashes are usually just that, scattered. In this case, the Garden of Remembrance, which sounds like a great place to be for eternity. I don't know if you can accept this, but the ashes are usually returned to the soil, and in this case your grandmother will be helping the garden grow. I hope this part of my answer wasn't too painful for you, if it was, I apologize, that was not my intent. You could visit the garden sometime and see all the beautiful flowers blooming and think to yourself, my grandma helped to do that.
Be at peace with this, I'm sure your grandma wouldn't want you to be sad forever. I'm sorry for your loss.
God bless you.
2006-09-22 11:26:56 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clemence, your sense of loss is very understandible. Often grandparents form a very special bond with kids. Please play with the toys and models she gave you. Think of this as a way to hold her memory, not as something sad. She could only want you to remember her as the loving person who cared to give you things you would enjoy. As to ashes, practices differ in different places of rememberance. The exact location is only important in that it helps you focus on the caring this woman has for you. Her spirit lives not in ashes but in the experience of love that she gave you. This can be honored by you expressing the best of the things learned from her. In you her spirit lives on in you and the caring you bring to your life and others.
2006-09-22 11:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by Paul Finlayson F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what your dealling with.. My grandma past away a little over a year ago.. and was cremated. It really hard to deal with the fact your grandma died. .but i promise you that peace will come to you in time. I still have days where it a little harder then others but it getting better. And about ashes being spread aparts. yes all over. My great grandmas was spreaded out all throught her garden and my grandma wantld to be keepted.. so i have my grandma in my bedroom.. Now that hard somdays.. it just a small one becuse all the grandkids and her kids got a little eran.. I think that what got me through;.. if you need to talk you can email me.. ok
2006-09-22 11:30:38 · answer #4 · answered by Heather O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to feel sad when you lose a close family member. You totally have to keep playing with those model toys and horses - she bought them for you to play with, to enjoy and because she loved you and wanted you to be happy. Just think of her when you play with them -- it's completely okay, not disrespectful or anything like that. I don't know much about the Garden of Remembrance. You may ask your parents about it. But, I think that you can direct the focus of your visits to the Garden generally, and pick any spot that resonates with you (makes you feel good, peaceful or close to your grandma) and consider that "your" spot to visit. Honoring a passed loved one does not necessarily have to be directed at one particular 1' x 1' spot. Time will help. Sorry for your loss.
2006-09-22 11:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by Shibi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it wouldnt be insulting you grandma bought u those toys cuz she wanted u to be happy and to play with them,i dont know bout the other questions but i want to give u some advice bout how to deal with yo grandma's death, cuz im sure ur still hurting, :
PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! (if you're a believer in God, if you're not, you might want to, cuz GOd is the only one who can get u through this, im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... sorry u lost ur Grandmother, i know if i lost my grandma i'd be devestated! it's too painful to even be thinkin bout! but sweetie listen jus pray, ask God for guidance, Strength and encouragement to get u through this painful time, and instead of being sad over her death, celebrate the many wonderful years she had on this earth, And remember that you'll see her again in heaven, it's not good bye, but see you later. God bless u sweetie, and once again sooooo sorry!
BEST WISHES!!!!!
2006-09-22 11:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by Here2Help 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww im sorry but the best way to deal witht hat is you first of yes play with toys it may hurt but it will feel good to know that she was here and she loved you. and the ashes are spread just a little around the grave.
2006-09-22 11:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,you not insulting they memory if you continue to play with these toy. Is only a gift from it, for you. I think she is happy for it...
They ashes might be at every turn, or in the wind, especially!!!
2006-09-22 11:50:14 · answer #8 · answered by fulgaw 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. sometime interior the close to destiny i'm specific i would be in this comparable undertaking, as all my grandparens stay in CA, and that i stay in GA. 2 of them i'm no longer close with the two, yet that may not provide up me from feeling in charge whilst they bypass..yet we are broke, too, plus I actually have a youthful son for whom a 6 hr airplane holiday could be organic torture/boredom. are you able to be sick for the funeral. you be attentive to, plan to bypass, and then like, have a abdomen virus or foodstuff poisoning? are you able to get your dad to pay on your value ticket?
2016-10-17 11:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by wach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i deeply sorry for your lost, however we need to realized that are loved one are better off in heaven than suffering here. easy for me to say you might think but i lost a three year old niece that was just a daughter to me. hard about dealing with death is not accepted it. if you had your chance to say goodbye and knew it was coming makes it easy.
2006-09-22 11:07:42 · answer #10 · answered by tat212des 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋