My 4 year old is bossy and rude. She tells you what to say and when to. She is also mean to people, she doesn't care if she hurts someone's feelings, what do I do? I have spanked, time outs and taken ALL her toys away (she will get a garbage bag and throw toys in it, before picking up her room) HELP!
2006-09-22 10:51:12 · 18 answers · asked by tammy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
you need to set up rules ....use a poster board and display them when things are done right she gets a sticker.....so many stickers equal a prize and for the rudeness stop giving her attention for it when she does it remove her place her alone and walk away do not let her see you cringe stay stoned face. does she have chores to do i would set her up with some of them to it teaches responsibilty and it something you can praise her for the more you paraise for good stuff the less bad stuff she will want to do....hope this helps it worked with my 5 and 3 year olds....
2006-09-23 03:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by christina c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mine is a brat tooo!!!!! I wanna kill her most days! But I have found that she needs more attention. She needs more mental stimulation then most 4 year olds! All children are different. Mine is in Headstart now half a day.So she is calm and tired out when she comes home and it helps sooo much! Also get her a playmate.Even if you are busy,take time to color a picture,or let her rinse the dishes for you as your washing dishes.She probally is doing what she is doing because she wants your attention. No , your not a bad mom because you work! Just plan a Mommy and Me day with her,have her look forward to that day once a week,even if it's going food shopping for an hour and ice cream on the way home! Those 1 on 1 times really work! talk to her when she's in a good mood,ask her what makes her mad. If she's anything like mine,she will tell you. When Mine is in a bad mood and being defient,she won't make sence at all. I have been told that when my child is at school..she is the most polite child with manners there!!! I can't see that from the way she acts at home! But I have always said thank you,i'm sorry,excuse me,even if you don't think there listening...they are! Good luck!
2006-09-22 13:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by spoiledsarah25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that her priveledges demand good behavior, and that you are being consistent. Time out's don't last 4 minutes, they last 4 minutes, plus whatever time it takes for her to apologize and reconcile. And every time she tries to manipulate, she gets a time out, and she doesn't get her way.
If she doesn't pick up her room, she keeps two or three toys. The rest go away. Each day she puts away all those toys in the right place within a couple of minutes of being asked, she gets praise and a hug from you. Three good days in a row, she can get a couple of toys back. Same rules. If she misses a day, she has to start over from nothing again, and you have to enforce that.
2006-09-22 11:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Polymath 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would post rules very clearly and go over them with her. Then I would say to her "if you break one of these rules what do you think your punishment should be?" Kids amazingly are normally harsher on themselves with punishments than their parents. Then if she breaks one of the rules follow through with what she said her punishment should be. At the same time you are doing all this, create ANOTHER chart for GOOD behavior and list things on it for her "using your manners, picking up your toys without being asked, etc......" and tell her when she gets 10 stickers (or whatever you think is a reasonable amount) she will get a reward. And finally, remember this. Virtually everything in a childs life is a phase. If you are consistenly loving and set reasonable boundaries you will raise a good kid even if they go off the track for a little while every so often.
2006-09-22 11:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by hawaiijos 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that having the consequence of not doing something she likes is best..the age is hard my daughter used to tell people they were ugly or fat at that age and embarrassed me intensely i made her send sorry notes to people and you must stay consistent if you use time out make her time start after she quiet and for 4 minutes and if she fights you it starts again it may make your days hell for a few days but if your consistent it will work ..make her aware of the nice things she says and does and praise her for that if she gets the positive attention a lot she Will stop doing stuff for the negative attention..i am not condemning I am speaking from experience..keep trying and don't give in i am pulling for you
2006-09-22 11:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by Alli 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you tried positive re-enforcement? Maybe she is just trying to get your attention and this is the only way she get's it. You should start reading to her. It is a great way to be close and educate her too. Also you should see what you are exposing her to. Is she watching shows on tv where this is acceptable behavior? If so can that show and find a replacement. Also remember you are the parent and if you don't get her to understand the roll now you are in big trouble later!!!
2006-09-22 11:03:58 · answer #6 · answered by MADAM_BUTTERFLY_206 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I could be wrong, & I could very well find out first hand in a few years that I am wrong, but I feel that a child, especially at that age, is a product of their raising. I've seen this in my own family. One side (cousins, nieces & nephews) are taught to be kind & say ma'am & sir and please & thank you. The other side of the family the parents just let them run wild, be rude and disrespectful & when they reach a certain age they can't do anything with them.
Children learn from what they see & hear.
2006-09-22 11:00:46 · answer #7 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
you haven't mentioned a single thing you've done to teach her how to respect others. everything you've done has not helped and has probably hurt. try something new - and never spank again. it doesn't work and really hurts your relationship.
read - how to talk so kids will listen and listen to kids will talk. and make sure you aren't bossy and rude.
2006-09-22 11:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why didn't you teach her kindness and manners before she got to 4yo?
If you are a working mom and she's spending time with a babysitter or in a daycare or something then you need to keep her away from there & teach her how to behave properly.
2006-09-22 12:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by Tender Hearted 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
she's learning this from somewhere. figure it out and stop whatever it is (whether you or tv or a friend).
then be consistent with punishment, don't keep switching it around. if you're gonna do a time out, then do it every time. she's got to know the punishment before she chooses to do wrong
2006-09-22 11:16:58 · answer #10 · answered by ♥sweet♥ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋