i never accepted that i had a problem with commitmant i just thought i liked to have some fun with other boys than my boyfriends. but recently my friends have been telling me i have a serious problem, at first i laughed it off but secretly i wondered if they were right and now (secretly) im really worried about it.
what if i can never have an honest relationship??
i have only really had flings and the longest relationship i had was only a month and we broke up coz i was cheating....again.
im worried that no one will ever want to be with me cause im so easy and always cheat.....no one wanting a long relationship would want that would they?!?!
im always careful when i cheat and i dont do it out of spite!! i honestly feel guilty afterwards (SO PLEASE DONT BE MEAN but i still do it i just dont understand........
HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN LIKE THIS AND CHANGED SOME HOW????? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-22 10:41:25 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't get into relationships. Go out with whoever you want to go out with but make it clear that it is not exclusive. That way no one gets their feelings hurt because you've been upfront with them. Try all the different things you want to try and eventually you will find out what you like. Once you know what you want then you will be ready to look for that in a relationship.
2006-09-22 10:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by Jason S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question can only be answered by yourself. There is nobody who knows you better than you. Your friends may provide advice based on what they know of you, but you don’t tell them everything. Was it a coincidence that you referenced the word “secret” twice?
Consider this:
1. Commitment is an interesting word. Figure out what it means, literally, and then assess what it means to you.
2. What do you want from life? Are you looking for a good time or wish to settle down and have children? Are you career minded or family oriented?
3. Do you live in a small town or large metropolitan area and have you traveled beyond the confines of this comfort zone? There is an abundance of potential companions out there…go find them, or better yet, let them find you.
4. Why do you date in the first place? Are you needy? Is it for physical; emotional fulfillment or both? You don’t need anyone to take care of your “needs”, but it is enjoyable to share the moment. There’s no shame in becoming the master of your domain. If you opt for intimacy, remember that it may be hazardous to your health if you fail to protect yourself…though it is both parties responsibility!
5. Do you love or lust? Do you know the difference? This is important!
6. Can you trust or have you been hurt so bad in the past that you’ve generated an invisible barrier that prevents emotional bonding from taking place? If so, you need to lower it once and a while and see what happens. If you fall, get up and try again.
Relationships are based upon love and trust. Guilt is a feeling you get when you’ve done something you know was wrong, but it would be beneficial if you could learn from your mistakes. “Being careful” when you cheat is a clear sign you have an issue with honesty. This goes back to the trust reference. Have you ever considered being honest? You’d be surprised how much simpler life would be. If you are not ready to settle and your “biological clock” isn’t ticking, just tell the person you meet up front that you don’t want a commitment and that you will be just taking care of each others needs. Don’t forget the protection part! If you’re honest, I understand this will eliminate the “game” or challenge, but there are no hard feelings as a result. I suggest that you figure out what it is that you want and slowly progress in that direction.
2006-09-22 19:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Java Blue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright, first just take a deep breath and try to relax. I think sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the whole idea of love at first sight or the perfect relationship like some real-life Romeo and Juliet. I cannot say it never happens like that, but it would have to be very rare. Don't beat yourself up over this because, let's face it, more than 50% of marriages in this country fail, so this is probably NOT rare.
I think the first thing I realize is that you're that way for a reason, be it a past relationship gone bad, parents, or maybe simply an insatiable appetite for adventure. Who knows? Only you can answer that. That to me is your first step to a remedy. Figure out why. Then I think you will be able to better understand where you are at in a relationship.
2006-09-22 17:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will know the right person when you meet him. You will want to be committed to only him and have no desire to cheat or be with anyone else. SO keep dating and dating.....but don't cheat. What's the point. Be honest and tell em you are seeing other people and am not ready for one. Also.....you would not be considered 'easy' if u r not having sex....if you are, remember SEX=STD is very real. Buy a vibrator until you find the right guy!
2006-09-22 17:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jus Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are a young lady finding your way. you are not married but if you want to become married or in a committed realtionship soon then you should try to find out what's going on with you. and if you are having sex with mutiple partners you should be very careful and aware of the diseases out there. you just haven't found the guy that melts your heart yet. when this guy comes around it should be easy for you to say no to the other guys even if its only out of fear of losing your boyfriend. just open your heart and know that you can't continue on like this if you want true happiness! don't think so much about all the different guys out there, what looks good on the outside may not look good on the inside! take care and good luck!
2006-09-22 17:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by TNW22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you have a real problem and you better slow down before one of these men or boys as you say slow you down. Someone will **** you up for being out there like that. There is to much **** to get from kissing and sex even with a condom to find yourself wanting the company of alot of guys. you first of all need to learn how to have fun by yourself and then you will not find yourself running around to seek the company of everyone else. What you can do with one you can do with the other. No one wants a garden tool and that is how you put yourself out there to be.
2006-09-22 17:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by Miss T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you just haven't found that special man to truely love. I am not condoning your actions, but you just haven't been truely in love. .... OR... you could be one of those people that like that excitement of a fresh and new relationship and keep looking for that. ... OR ... you like the rush that cheating gives you, that feeling of it being naughty and I could get caught. .... There could any number of things that make you the way you are. ..... If you really think you have issues, go see a therapist. Having a unbiased professional person to talk to might do you a world of good. ... Be careful.
2006-09-22 17:47:22 · answer #7 · answered by Why do you ask? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey....im in this prob 2 i am a real friendly person like u
i have this thing were i fell realy alive around bois well let me tell u its hard because when i am around bois i feel way better but alot of ppl say im flirtin i donnt c it i c me bein just me a"friendly girl hangin around other pll"cause to me bois are pll around us just like girls. If it makes u feel any better my bff is a boi his name is dillon he is so sweet everyone said he needs ro be a doctor"DR DILLON" well.......if i was u i wouldtell all ur boyfriends that u get that when u are hangin around guys its ok ur not cheatin just bein a friend.....tell him if he wants to talk about it ur always open to talk....its not right 4 u to change for somthin ur not doin.....!
2006-09-24 16:35:11 · answer #8 · answered by malibu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right to be worried. You do have a problem. You are a compulsive cheater.
You should maybe just NOT be anyone's girlfriend until you feel mature enough to committ.
2006-09-22 17:44:00 · answer #9 · answered by Mama R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg yea u should feel bad.ur an effing whore,wow,i hope noone goes out with u.to call u a c*nt or to not call u a c*nt that is the question?Im a nice girl*winks*
2006-09-22 17:52:04 · answer #10 · answered by ramlover_92 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋