Temper Tantrums?

Question

How do other parents handle their toddler's temper tantrums? My two and a half year old has started having them more frequently and I don't know what to do. She won't respond well to time outs and she has started becoming very difficult if she doesn't get her own way. Thanks.

I could also use tips about keeping a two year old in time out. She gets up and leaves the spot. If I keep taking her back there over and over again, I'm afraid she'll forget why she was there in the first place and there won't be a point anymore.

Answer 1

As to keeping the toddler in timeout:
I watch supernanny and seeing those parents chase the kid around the house for HOURS and return him to timeout makes me CRAZY.
I place my 2 year old into timeout and explain to him why he is there. If he does not stay for his entire 2 minutes I put him back
1-2 times then I simply pick him up, place him on my lap, remind him that he is in timeout, why and that he must stay for 2 minutes. I then gently restrain him on my lap. I wrap my arms around his arms and I wrap my legs around his feet if he decides to kick or hit me. Once he stops screaming, kicking, whatever his 2 minutes start. He really does not like being restrained so more often than not he stays in the timeout on his own. Just keep reminding him WHY he is there.
I also have a timer set for two minutes so he knows when the timer goes off his timeout is finished.

Answer 2

The last time I had a temper tantrum, was the time when my mother stood in the doorway of the stoor laughing at me as I threw my fit. I remember it distinctly.

I'd suggest that you find a new spot for time outs, and simply don't accept her "not responding well" to it. Remember, you're the boss at your house, not her.

Whatever you do, DON'T give in! This will only teach her that it's working. You need to stick to your guns, and let her know that even if she throws a fit, that you won't change your mind.

I don't mean to sound as if I'm picking at your parenting skills, because that is definitely not my intention, and I know how hard it can be! However, the fact that you say that she has started becoming very difficult if she doesn't ger her own way leads me to believe that she has been getting her own way a bit too often.

Always, always, always, say what you mean, and mean what you say. Not only will it help to avoid temper tantrums, it also helps when you say things like "I love you" and "I'll always be here for you". Kids need to know that they can count on what their parents say - whether it's because they know they've done good, or because they know they've broken the rules.

Answer 3

When my daughter has a tantrum I try asking her about it first. If she can't tell me what the problem is (or I know what the problem is but she can't have it) then I go with distraction. Spanking doesn't work (and I don't believe in it as an effective communication tool) and to keep a toddler in time out means sitting in front of them so they don't leave for the 2 minutes they are there. Your best bet if talking and distracting dont work and the tantrum continues is to tell her to come to you when she is calm and then walk away. This works almost every time for me and my daughter doesn't have them very often anymore.

Answer 4

i've read that time out is no longer favored and i think the difficulty you have with it is one reason. another reason is that the child gets a message of very conditional love.

This is how I handled the tantrums: I ignored them. Based on learning theory, that which is ignored, goes away. It worked very well for me for both our sons.

I've also read that it can be good to hold your child, talk sweetly to her and say that you know it is hard to control your emotions and you are going to help her gain control.

I also recall telling my kids a few times - you know, i wanted to give you that ____, but since you've started to cry and whine for it, I simply cannot. You realize I cannot, right, because I'd be encouraging you to act like this and that would hurt you in the long run."

That sounds funny, but I recall the oldest warning his brother of that once - stop whining, she never gives in when a person whines....

Answer 5

My father and mother had an eye opener when my son went shopping with them at this age and gave them a "throw yourself ,kick ,swing etc temper tantrum they had never believed he did ..their solution...it may be embarrassing but they sat in the floor and did the same thing ..my son is now 12 and he remembers that happening and warned his sisters to be good..Another solution if you can do this is to remove yourselves..if you can leave and not get your shopping done do it..if you are out to eat and she starts take the meal to go or cancel the order I had to do that with my youngest and it didn't take her long to figure out good behavior gets good rewards bad behavior no rewards

Answer 6

Try resoning. Toddlers have tantrums because they don't know how to voice what they want. If that doesn't work, put her into time out for every year that she old (like if she's 2, put her there for 2 minutes), and then if she gets up, don't say aything, and keep putting her back there. She'll get the message.

Answer 7

Refuse to tolerate their tantrums. Continue with the time outs. Take away a few things they really want till they calm down.

Answer 8

What I always did was at first ignore them (as long as they cannot hurt themselves) after a few minutes if they do not calm down I set them in time out, if they get up or won't do it then they lose something..ie..TV, favorite toy, or whatever they like the most. Do not give in!!

Answer 9

She's testing her boundaries with you, trying to get a reaction out of you. They too will pass. I just go "oh well, whatever" and they stop in their tracks. I can't say that I have a big problem with tantrums because I don't allow them to get me involved in them. I just ignore that type of behaviour. And don't accept it. They learn fast what is acceptable and what isn't.

Answer 10

you're little girl is not stupid. in fact, she is very smart. she knows that if she keeps getting up during a time out, that eventually you will cave. keep reminding her every time you have to put her back why she is going in there. it takes patience and you will have a lot of headaches before you see improvement. no one ever said parenting was easy...