After what still is and has been a messy break up, my friend said to me, attempting to put things in perspective I suppose, "You're only 20. The person you're with now is probably not going to be the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with"
I looked at her and said "Honestly I want to be married by like 25-26 because I want to have a baby by the time I'm 28. I still want to be young enough when my children are in high school to be able to go to their games, and be active in their lives. I don't want to be 50 when my kids are in high school."
She seemed suprised to say the least...it was like saying the ages put things kind of in perspective. She doesn't really think that far ahead.
Does marraige by 25 and having a baby by 28 seem reasonable or does it sound like wishful thinking?
2006-09-22 10:07:04 · 13 answers · asked by LostLover 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Take your time it will pay off in the end, don't become another divorce rate statistic.
2006-09-22 10:10:09 · answer #1 · answered by Xander's Mom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it sounds reasonable. Remember, most girls were married at 15 100 years ago. But now we have the choice to wait however long we want, and to be able to find the perfect guy.
It's a good thought. But you shouldn't marry someone just because of how old you are or anything. Like if you're 25 and going out with a guy, you shouldn't rush into a marriage because of your age. Just keep trying, hope for the best, and don't despair if the age passes and you haven't found your guy.
2006-09-22 10:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by Caryssa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is completely wishful thinking. If this is what you hope to dow ith your life, I think it sounds perfectly reasonable. However, I must tell you this. What would happen if you don't reach this deadline? Would you marry someone that you don't truly need to be with just so that you can achieve what you hope? Or how will you feel if this DOESN'T happen? Will you feel as though you have failed, or that you are unloveable?
I think it is perfectly okay to have an idea of when you want to start a family. However, when it starts consuming you or when it starts really affecting your life, then it is not okay. However, i think that wanting to get married and have kids at a young age is fine. (I had a child at 18, married at 23, with another child on the way in January!)
2006-09-22 10:14:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if you find the right guy to marry then you should be married by the time you are 25. I once had a teacher though that said no one should marry before they are 30 and that defiantly means you don't need children before that. You need to have a good education and job so that if anything happens to your husband you can take care of your child by yourself. LOL in what ever you do your going to need it.
2006-09-22 10:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds reasonable to me, but only if you've truly found the one you want to marry by then. Some things can't be rushed, and putting a time limit on things like getting married and having kids is risky if you're basing your future on it. You wouldn't want to rush into a marriage just because you had some sort of deadline to meet.
2006-09-22 10:11:35 · answer #5 · answered by Alex C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - i want exactly the same, i am 23 now and thinking like im 'getting on a bit' and need to get the wheels in motion cos i dont wanna be no mum that people mistake as grandma when i collect my kids from school either!
2006-09-22 10:10:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU GO GIRL!! its great to have plans.. i was married by 23 and had my first child at 25, second at 28 and a surprise third by 30. im glad i had them young and i can still play with them and have fun. since i still am a kid at heart!! by the way im 32 now!!!
2006-09-22 10:12:21 · answer #7 · answered by countrygalsline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely reasonable if I ever marry I want to be able to enjoy my kids and not be an old wreck like my parents. They'll be over 50 when my younger brother graduates.
2006-09-22 10:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by Alli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That seems pretty reasonable. I got married 26 and had my first kid at 28. Dont let others influence you. You do what you want. It's your life not theirs.
2006-09-22 10:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by ari 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds reasonable. It also sounds like you need to focus on who you are and not what your friends think is right for you. Don't go into the next relationship thinking "I've only got blank years yet, you better be him!" Relax, enjoy. Life happens while we are busy making plans.
2006-09-22 10:10:42 · answer #10 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds entirely reasonable to me, but as every year goes by I push back the limit of when I want to do everything by - and that isn't by choice!
I'd just chill and take things as they come.
Kx
2006-09-22 10:11:06 · answer #11 · answered by Kate W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋