All the sudden I'm having these strange attractions to women. By sudden, I mean in the last 2 weeks. It started with a few sex dreams, but now I can't get it out of my head. I even watched an adult film on cable and did something I always thought was disgusting and perverted afterwards.
I have everything I wanted in life, why am I risking all of it to indulge in sexual fantasy? But I just can't seem to help it and I'm scared I'm actually going to do something more than fantasize.
2006-09-22 09:55:29 · 55 answers · asked by Family Values Mom 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It might just be a fantasy in which case your not a lesbian if just fantasy tell your husband see if he will indulge you to check out sex with another women with him watching then you not cheating i now this sounds weird but I'm just being honest if you decide to sleep with another women and not tell him i think its as bad as if he had
2006-09-22 10:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by soldierof the 82ndAirborne 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are clever enough to recognize this. My idea is that women are naturally closer to each other than normal men can be close with each other. I could be wrong, but I know recently in the past 10-20 years, there is more acceptance of 2 women loving each other, and certainly it plays a large part of the porn scene as its a big turn-on for men, so there is much more for people to indulge in, if you are curious. Women are beautiful, there is no getting away from that. The clothing styles, the degree of make-up, the hair, and the body enhancements and so on....One cant help but being captivated by the beauty of some women now, and there seems to be so many more than when I was young.
For you to be turned on by watching beautiful women on a a TV screen is not bad. My wife is, but she is so old fashioned, she would never even entertain or admit she might act out these fantasies, although I would love if she tried.
Tell your husband and see what he says. I doubt if you have lost an attraction of men, but rather seen a side of you which gets turned on by beautiful women. Also, to much religion and 3 kids can certainly dampen any sex drive! You might like a change.
Brock
Vancouver, Canada.
2006-09-22 10:07:27 · answer #2 · answered by cbmaclean 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First off, quit freaking out. It's not as big of a deal as some people, apparently including you, make it out to be. Actually what's happening is normal and quite natural. It's perfectly normal to fantasize. It's also perfectly normal to be curious.
First and foremost, this has nothing to do with religion, except that maybe your traditional religious values consider this kind of thing "wrong". Maybe you should rethink these values in light of your recent change.
You may need to take a look at your life. Are you happy with your husband? Is he fulfilling your needs? Do you feel you are missing something? Perhaps you are going through a mid-life crisis, and need to do something to get through it. Talk to him about it. If he really loves you, he will be understanding and willing to help.
You never mentioned how old your children were. If any are high-school age, perhaps you should talk to them. Maybe they can help you understand yourself. Many teenagers are smarter and wiser than people give them credit for.
I'm not saying you should change religions, leave your husband, cheat on him with a woman, or immerse yourself in the bible. There are many less drastic solutions than that. If you truly feel that you need to take drastic measures, then do it. All I'm saying is to keep an open mind and a clear head.
2006-09-22 12:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by exploding monkey 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Fantasy and acting out as you've described can increase during times of stress or during periods when unconfortable emotions are coming to the surface. The fantasizing etc can be a form of self-medicating pain anger boredom or stress. Be kind to yourself. Fantasizing and MB is normal. But if the behavior bothers you very much then see a licensed therapist to see what's going on under the hood to trigger you.
2006-09-22 10:03:40 · answer #4 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy. Acting on it is another thing though.
I'm not sure why you say "I'm scared I'm actually going to do something more than just fantasize." No one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to act anything out. The way you said it is a bit scary, as if you have already made up your mind to do it and are rationalizing.
I am also stymied as to why you would point out that you are a Christian. What does that have to do with anything? There are THOUSANDS of gay and lesbian Christians. I hope you were not insinuating something derogatory.
2006-09-22 10:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
First of all, are you CATHOLIC or CHRISTIAN? This is a direct quote from you on your last question: "It was a different woman each time, but I'm not a lesbian and am actually a strict Catholic."
It doesn't matter to me what religion you are, but it seems you may be confused on that yourself.
Anyway, your religion has absolutely nothing to do with your dreams or your sexual fantasies. And it is completely normal to have these kinds of dreams and not be a lesbian. I wouldn't worry so much about it. Especially if you are happy with your life the way it is.
2006-09-22 10:04:52 · answer #6 · answered by ticktock 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you have everything you've ever wanted, then you have friends. I am not knowledgable enough in this field to help much, but what I can prescribe is to talk it out with your best, most trusted friend/s.
Believe me, if they're your friends, they'll know what you're going through and will do anything to help you.
P.S. - I know a few other early to mid 30 year olds that are going through a similiar situation. I'm no PhD, but I'd say that this might be one of those "mid-life crises" that most people eventually go through. Good luck, I'll be praying for you.
EDIT: Don't listen to the baka above me... I don't know what he's on, but it's certain that he's an idiot.
2006-09-22 10:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are for real, here is the answer that will clarify your situation!
Everyone is attracted to women! I mean everybody! Why? Because when we are born we are cuddled and feed from the breasts of our mothers. It is in your genes! You are born with it! NOW...if you turn it around a few times in your head without considering what I just said, you may THINK you are gay! No...it is your animalistic characteristics talking. That is why women adore looking at women. Women always check other women out and usually they are repulsed by other women...because they do not understand why the are attracted in the first place! Don't do anything about your little fantasy! Keep it in your mind! If you are attracted to women's breasts it is NATURAL!!!
2006-09-22 10:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by GiGi 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
At some point everybody probably questions it, some alot and some a little. You know this is wrong and you should try harder to get this off your mind. Get more involved with family life and this will leave less time for you to daydream about it, At night there is nothing you can do about the dreams unless you get a doctors prescribed sleeping aid. Good luck.
2006-09-22 10:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having dreams is super normal, don't worry. Your subconscious might just be asking you to spice up your love life with your husband. Have you tried to talk to him about it? Especially if it has only been 2 weeks, there is no need to question your sexuality just over a few dreams and becoming aroused. And being Christian has nothing to do with it... except it has obviously given you some guilt. Just think things through before you make any big decisions in your life. Talk to your husband, maybe he can satify your sexual cravings in a new way that will be your next distraction!
2006-09-22 10:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by TWBensgirl 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋