My boyfriend and I have been together about 3 months now. We get along great, and I like to think we have a healthy sex life. He likes to have sex at the least every other day, being a typical male. And I like to make him happy because lord knows he makes me happy. But more often than not I have to take a couple days "break" from sex because I feel like I have been torn up inside. He is not rough during sex, but he is very large and I am petite. We've always used KY gel, and tryed using my vibrator but it's not a matter of being turned on at all, it just hurts a lot inside! I know that there are those conditions where the uteris is misshaped or in the wrong spot and it is painfull to have sex, but I think this is different, more like someone scratched the hell out of my insides. I am wondering if anyone feels the same and/or know of anything that can help, Please give me some advice!!
2006-09-22 09:38:53 · 11 answers · asked by kim914 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There could be a hundred and one reasons, but before I scare you, you need to know that it could also be chalked up to the fact that he is just very large, and you are just very small. I would recommend that you go to the obgyn and talk to your doctor. But before you do...let me give you some very sound advice. When you go to the doc, make sure you go with all of the symptoms. If it is just vaginal, it may not be serious. But if there is pain in other areas, such as the belly or near or around ovaries, you could be talking other things such as pelvic dyplasia, pelvic congestion, endodemtriosis, aydenomyosis, ovarian cysts, the list just goes on and on. You can do searches on webmd.com and put your symptoms in there, and they can pop out a list of possible things for you. Whatever you do, you want to get it taken care of as soon as possible because if it something other than the obvious, there are things available to help you. Also, if it is just his size to yours, she will be able to give you tips on what you can do to make it more comfortable, such as positions and techniques. This isn't just an opinion I would like you to know...I have three of things that I listed there to you, and the pain during (and after) sex was horrifying. To the point where I didn't think that I would be able to do it anymore. And I am not a small woman by any means, pretty equal to my husband's size. It can really hurt a sex life when things like this happen because although you can explain how it feels, they just don't understand, and pretty soon it could turn to feelings of resentment. I really hope that this helps, and I hope that it is just being a jolly green giant LOL Good luck honey, I hope that this helped and you can get back to having an amazing sex life :)
2006-09-22 10:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by pamalamadingdong_1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple of suggestions. Since it also hurts while using your vibrator, that rules out a few things, such as;
-an allergy to condoms or the lubricant/spermicide that is on the condems (assuming you're using protection),
-the size of your boyfriend
Here are some possible reasons why it may be hurting;
-If you're using the KY gel with the vibrator, it could be that you need to try another kind of lubricant. I like a brand called Wet.
-Not to alarm you, but both of you should get checked out for genital warts. A friend of mine had a problem similar to yours and she described it just like you, as a feeling of being scratched inside after sex. It turned out that she had gotten the genital warts from a previous sexual partner and had no clue she even had them until she got a pelvic exam done. After she had the warts removed the "scratched" feeling went away.
-The only other suggestion I have is to make sure that both you and your boyfriend trim up the hair around your genitals, if you don't do this already. You don't have to shave completely, but make sure there is isn't any hair down there that could be causing abrasion.
If your boyfriend is large, hair could be getting pushed inside when he enters you. I had this problem myself, and I like to use a battery operated, bikini area trimmer. That way you can just trim and keep everything nice and neat down there. I don't like to use scissors or a razor because the hair will feel stubbly and that will defeat the purpose, and if this the cause of your problem, it will worsen the matter.
I hope this has helped.
2006-09-22 10:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by dee-dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my husband. You SHOULD take a few days to recouperate if you are with a "large" man. Especially if you are petite. There are lots of organs and soft tissue and blood vessels in there that get bruised easily.
It can be a wonderful thing, or if you don't take care of yourself, it can be painful. LOTS of lube helps, and also make sure you are not constipated!Not even slightly! It may sound gross, but when you are dealing with a "large" guy, alot gets pushed around and banged up.
Also, try pushing your abdomen from the inside(like you are pushing vagina inside out) that will feel really good to him, and protect your upper insides. It will keep him from going all the way to your cervix.
If those suggestions don't work, and you are still hurting, try talking to your doctor.
2006-09-22 10:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by red.cancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go to planned parenthood and get checked out, you many never know you may have an abnormality or you may just be small, try to make sure you are getting to the point where you are fully into it, it makes a difference if you are turned on or not.
2006-09-22 09:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you try a different position? i would suggest you being on top that way you have more control and can adjust to what feels better for you. whatever you do your boyfriend will enjoy. if that still does not work go to your ob/gyn. it very well could be a medical problem. keep up with lot of ky. maybe have him perform on you orally first.
2006-09-22 09:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have a STD... if the guy is big, that mean that he has probably scored with a lot of chicks, which means that he has a good chance of being infected with who knows what!! Best go to the clinic and get yourself checked out before he dumps you and you pass it along to your other partners... I know it sucks but its part of haveing sex girlie....
2006-09-22 09:53:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had this when i very first lost my virginity. i was with some 1that every1 wanted so i felt as if i mite dissapoint him therefore i was very tense and was never relaxed. now im with some 1 i love and care about and it has never been a probleam of mine again
relax. thats all i can think of
2006-09-22 09:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by amethyst2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the gyno, they'll tell you why, and you should be able to find a comfortable sex postion after that. I made my ex go after she told me the same thing. but it all worked out after that.
2006-09-22 09:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the doctor and get checked out. That is not normal
2006-09-22 09:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by Alissa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm if it hurts that bad, maybe your boyfriend gave you an STD. I would get checked.
2006-09-22 09:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by PeachN 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋