My wife doesn't understand me REVISITED!!!?

Question

Ok folks, when i said i got pissed and stayed out till 4 I meant once in a while. I ask my wife to go with me but she would rather stay at home with her Mills and Boons. She will sit all night every night supping Vodka and cola (maybe 7 or more in one night). I will go weeks without a drink or going out but sometimes I feel like a blow out away from the TV. She says that I should do what she does and sup beer every night and never or rarely go out. How can I win.

Answer 1

you won't win because she is an alcoholic. She needs help.
Mills and Boons are fantasy love books, have you ever read one? it all works out happy ever after and the girl always meets her handsome prince charming? they are usually rich guys etc?? I think with the little information you have given to us, I would say your wife is a very unhappy lady, maybe she is depressed, do you have children? do you still love her? does she still love you? why has she turned to the bottle? do you have sex with her or do you make love to her? I have a thousand questions I could ask you to kick start you into taking a good look at this relationship...........

Answer 2

You should go out when you want providing your not doing it all the time, and it's obvious you're not. It is a control thing.

On a more general note of "my wife/husband doesn't understand me", I've never met anyone who's read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, and not thought it was about their relationship. You read it, and get her to read it as a change to the Mills and Boon.

If you don't at least stand up for what you want occasionally you'll end up depressed and the relationship really will be doomed. I know, I've been in that position.

Answer 3

a million. prepare an argument: write down some bullet factors on procedures which you're closer with your spouse than with Sarah. additionally factor out you have been pals and easily pals, in no way romantically. it extremely is critical that she is conscious there is not any romantic chemistry between you 2. 2. strengthen those bullet factors: upload specific examples of undertaking the place you shared a definite 2d with your spouse that no 2d you have shared with Sarah could desire to even discover ways to. consult with a definite 2d you shared that had a deep romantic connection. in the journey that your spouse and your self have not experienced a 2d like this, make one. Taker her to a intense high quality dinner or do something specific. 3. clarify all the cons with Sarah. communicate approximately how your spouse is extra captivating and he or she is conscious you. factor out Sarah is a formative years pal which you would be goofy with. tell her there are various the clarification why you and Sarah are not at the same time, and there are the clarification why you married your spouse. Afterall, if Sarah replaced into "the single", you would be married to her by now, does no longer you? 4. contemporary this argument in a non-threatening, casual yet intense way. do no longer come off as argumentative, yet as explanatory. end with a deep 2d of watching into your spouse's eyes mutually as explaining your love for her, telling her she is each and every thing you needed. If this would not succeed, you are able to desire to even ask Sarah to testify, yet which would be somewhat intense. although, this intense could teach your spouse you're dedicated to her, and are prepared to throw human beings under the bus for her. the factor is, you are able to desire to positioned concept into this, and you are able to desire to teach your spouse, the two with strikes or intently planned out words, which you like her better than something, and that Sarah purely isn't the female for you.

Answer 4

hi again, everyone is entitled to let their hair down or have a blow out and if your wife trusted you whole heartedly then she wouldn't have a problem with this.......perhaps she knows she's got you under her control, talk to her without any defences, put your foot down, but don't ever get aggressive over the situation........ she should be watching her drinking habits really if she tends to drink that much most nights she risks some sort of damage to one of her organs......

Answer 5

You cant. And there is nothing wrong with going out with the boys or going out without the wife. Trust is what she needs.

Answer 6

you can't win so give in gracefully or just get used to the frying pan over the head on the occasions that you do go out. after a while it will not hurt and you won't hear the nagging.

Answer 7

there is no winning or losing in marriage. but that's here nor there. your wife is an alcoholic, and if you really care about your marriage i would suggest you and her start going to aa she needs help. you shouldn't be going out. you should be insisting on you both going out.....to aa that is. if you love her you should help her, she needs you now more than ever.

Answer 8

well try luring her out, if you have money go buy here a nice gown to go out in, box it up, by flowers, and make dinner plans. even if she doesn't want to go out she will not be able to turn your proposal down. and it might make her feel better about going out she might be a little self conscious about herself. make her feel beautiful. and don't forget to give her compliments, even when she's sitting there with a bottle of boos. good luck.

Answer 9

sounds like she has a potentially serious problem. maybe it is you who do not understand her, because your description are obvious tell-tale signs of alcoholism (7 or more vodka&cola in one night?!). you should run to her help, instead of running away from her (and her problem).

Answer 10

Looks to me like you are both avoiding each other, and have got some serious issues to resolve, but are skirting around the problem.

Seek mediation.