Why are so many people against spanking their kids????

Question

With all the off the wall stuff you see kids doing now-a-days and parents being punished as well, why have people turned their backs on spankings, keep in mind that there is a diffrence is spankings and abuse, you dont hit a 7 year old like you would your 14 year old, and YES some 14 and ever 17year olds need their as* whooped every now and then depending on what they did, the last whooping I got was at 16 for stealing, that one hurt like hell but i deserved it. If a kid cuts up and you ground them and they keep cutting up why wouldnt you try whooping them, some kids respond better to whooping than grounding others respond better to grounding than whooping, some respond just by you gettin mad at them, basically to each his own is what im saying, but why are people so quickly writing spankings out of the book.

Answer 1

Spanking has a proven track record, but should be used sparingly. You should try warnings, time outs, groundings...or anything else you can think of first. Since hopefully spanking are rare (this all depends on the child) they should be well remembered, so you only have to do it once for this offense.

In our home, spanking is a planed event, like the other poster said, they go to there room with the knowledge they will be spanked, and to think of what they could have done different to avoid this punishment. Pants are pulled down and they go over our knee for about 6-10 sharp spanks with our hand. After some time to feel better, they are given a big hug and told they are loved very much. They are to repeat what they will not do again, they also must apologize for there behavior. We have never left a mark on our girls, nor do we plan on it.

I know it all sounds harsh, but spanking this way saves me having to do them more often. They learn, it works!
Good luck

Answer 2

All the "things you see kids doing these days" are more likely the RESULT of adults being violent with one another and with children then a LACK of spankings.

I agree with the poster who said that it can work if it's not done out of anger or violence.The problem is that I believe this is rarely the case. Hitting IS violence. It IS an angry act. I don't believe it works...legitimate research shows that it does more harm than good.

I also have never understood why it's okay to do something to a defenseless child that you'd go to jail for if you did to an adult. Guy mouths off to you in a bar and you slap him, it's called assault and you get arrested. Four year old tells you know and you slap them it's called "discipline." Huh?

Sure, there is a difference between spankings and abuse, but the line is VERY fine. Everyone has a different placement for that line and it's impossible to legislate. Therefore, I think hitting should ALWAYS be a no-no.

My sister and I were spanked as children. It did not change the behavior it was intended to change.All it did was make us fear our parents, make us hide things from them, make us wary of their moods.

Oddly, the last time I was REALLY hit I was 16 too. It was my birthday I did not deserve it and I was bruised for days.

I'm an adult now, and even though I know there were tons of times when I was a brat as a child or young person, I also know I was only ever hit over it because of my PARENTS' issues. The Sixteenth birthday episode...I just wanted to sit and hold hands with a stupid boy for another 15 minutes. He was angry because I was trying to be in control...not because I really did anything that "deserved a whooping." And that's pretty much what it was always about.

I can visualize a situation in which a child, say, uses an inappropriate word and the parent calmly says, "Now you go to your rooom and think about that and I'm going to spank you in five minutes." Then comes in five minutes later and gives them five swats and it's over.

But this isn't "Leave it to Beaver." People don't strike out and hit others in those ways. Heck, if they could, spanking might be a great idea.

Consequently, while I wouldn't suggest we are a representative sample by ANY stretch of the imagination, both my sister and I are successful adults in happy relationships...after some struggles with relationship problems. We've both been in psychiatric hospitals (myself numerous times) and we both take anti-depressent medications off and on. She is anorexic. I've had gastric bypass surgery to overcome my own eating disorder.

Answer 3

If spanking isn't robotically used as punishment, yet an extremely infrequently utilized be-careful call, i think of it extremely is suitable. the objective could desire to be to get a baby's interest, no longer vent a confirm's short-term anger or frustration. What else does all people recommend if a small baby is ignoring "no, provide up", approximately to do something risky or volatile, and intensely just about formidable mom or dad to handle it? One speedy whack on the backside reinforces that the habit can not be tolerated. The theory that it teaches violence is nonsense. the difficulty with spanking, inspite of the incontrovertible fact that, is that it may extremely be overdone, simply by fact it extremely is often resorted to interior the warmth of the 2d. And, of course, if a baby gets a swat on a daily basis, then its effectiveness is quite lost. So for many mum and dad it extremely is a notably effective line to stroll. i think i could extremely see no spanking (yet efficient and consistent self-discipline in any different case!), than whalloping a baby on the drop of a hat. once you get impressive all the way down to it, recurring spanking quantities to lazy parenting.

Answer 4

People such as myself are against spanking because we rely on our own intelligence. Spanking a child doesn't teach the child anything except fear our parents, sneaking around because of fear of being caught and spanked, lack of communication with our parents due to fear of getting in trouble and getting spanked. Do you get it yet? I have a 13 year old son I never once raised my hand to. I never smacked his hands as a baby either. Babies explore with their hands,and mouths. I remove his favorite toys now it is games but more than anything I reward the good behavior. Praise, a hug, a game to rent. A special treat at a favorite restaurant. wow that works even better. Keep the line of communication open no matter how much you have to bite your lip while you are hearing the whole story. Kids shut the parents out so quickly. Hitting is not the answer to any problem. Show your child how smart you are to be willing to give a consequence and be consistent, and see the respect you will get in return.

Answer 5

I believe that spanking is an easy way out for parents who are not resourceful enough to figure out a better way. As a child I was spanked quite a bit, it just made me resentful and truly lowered my self esteem. It didn't make me any more mindful or give me any tools at all about how to deal with whatever the problem was. It forced me into good behavior or made me comply with whatever it was I was being spanked for and when I got bigger of course I had to figure out the actual consequences by myself. I didn't get into a lot of trouble, but that was because I myself figured out the deal and figured out a way to deal with the situation.

If parent's took the time now you could easily get a much better jump on dealing with the problem and correcting the child with guidence and consequences. Giving them very real life situations that give them a HUGE edge on dealing with the real life issues. Unfortunately the real issue isn't that people aren't spanking, it is just that alot of parents are far too busy to take the time to invest in their child and they know that spanking isn't what they want to do so then there is not correction or minimal guidance.

I don't believe spanking is the answer and hopefully parents will realize that hitting a child and then telling them that hitting isn't appropriate is very conflicting and not socially acceptable. There are different avenues and you just need to find something that gets through to your child in their style. That doesn't mean let them run amuck or be a whimp about it, you can still be stearn and firm, you just need to find the right commodity that they value and use the priviledge system.

Answer 6

Some kids actually enjoy pain so that spanking becomes ineffective. Correct parenting techniques should be used because spanking easily leads to abuse. A teenager is too old for spankings. Taking away their phone or car is much more damaging to the kids psyche. You could really straighten them up by making them go to their room with just a mattress on the floor and the door off of the hinges.

Answer 7

I think this matter is much like many others. There are some parents who abuse their right to parent their children. There are parents who swat their children for every minor thing the child does. I think that those parents give all parents who spank a bad name.

I was not spanked as a child. My personal opinion is if there are other ways of teaching children of right and wrong, why not use the tecnique that doesn't invole hitting? I don't really think it's horrible for parents to spank, but I do believe it is a form of violence (not nesecarily abuse.) To me, it would be the same thing as if a parent looked at their child and yelled, "Watch your FU***** mouth!" It's a little redundant and hypocritical.

Although I won't use spanking to discepline my children, I still believe that parents have a right to raise their children how they please. But, I must admit, I do cringe when I see someone do anything other than hug their children.

Answer 8

I am against spanking. Spanking is hitting. Hitting is conflicting with parenting skills when not condoning it when their children do the same behavior.

Spanking is inflicting physical contact in result of pain and that is abuse to me. People say "Oh, that didn't hurt". How do you know that didn't hurt the child? That annoys me.

The 14 or 17 year old don't need their as.s wooped. They need better parents who need to look at themselves and wonder what they did or did not do. They need to look at who the kid is being allowed to be around (bad influence). At 17, I would pretty much say if they want to disrespect, then I would say that means they want to live on their own. If want to be an adult, then I will treat them like one. Tough love.

If I was ever spanked as a child, my mom would not have custody of me since I always had my own opinion since I was very very very little about people touching me period. I was told my teacher who tap me on my shoulder in 1st grade. "If your hands are not attached to my body. Then they don't belong on me". Pretty much gave her a new thought of how some kids just are picky of who touches them.

I rarely was in trouble and I was punnished in ways I learned my lesson with out getting physically hit. I didn't turn out to be a bad person who doesn't know how to respect. I sure missed some oppurtunities. But that is tough love. I act up and I get consequence that matters most to me. If i want it that bad, I will behave and do my best.

If a parent is allowed to spank the child if the child does bad. Then the child should be allowed to spank the parent when the parent does bad. After all, all ages makes mistakes right. But no, parents are so quick to label that children are only allowed to be spanked but don't want the same treatment back..........

I believe there is other effective and healthy ways to raise a child. Spanking isn't one of them.

Answer 9

Why are so many people against domestic violence? I find it curious that it's not okay by society to hit your spouse in any way, nor to hit another member of the public, but it is okay to hit your child??? We as parents are role models.... what are we teaching the child if we use violence to discipline them? Someone on another thread on spanking commented that smacking showed that the parent has lost their cool and the action becomes more about releasing that anger than trying to teach the child something important. this is what I think also.

I don't agree with it, but I also understand those that give them a little smack if they run out on the road or touch something hot. It's all really just a matter of opinion isn't it?

Answer 10

I was always being punished with physical punishments when I was younger. I feared my parents. I used to have my face smacked, butt beat with boards and pancake flippers, belts and whatever else is there. I was kicked by my fathers pointy cowboy boots and dragged across the floor by my shirt. I was pushed off of chairs and everything else. My parents were and still are emotionally abusive. My daughter is not going to go throught the hell that I did. She is not going to have any of those things done to her. I am also not going to tell her that she is worthless and will never amount to anything like my brothers and myself were told. Do you think its a very good idea for someone that weighs , lets say, 7 times more then a child ,to smack that child while they are angry ? Not a pretty picture . I use time outs and I acutally talk to my daughter about what she did wrong. My daughter is only 3 and she has manners , doesn't hurt other children ( like so many seem to do ), and is just a lovely caring child to be around. One of my neighbors is always smacking her daughter's butt and her daughter is a brat . Two days ago , while having a play date, my daughter went to hug the little girl goodbye and the girl yelled NO, and shoved my daughter really hard. The little girl was not even punished then. I was really upset about this. The whole point of what I am trying to say is that their are other ways to punish your child for something they have done that is wrong other then smacking.