when i was 15 i met a guy in high school. i was a nice girl and he was kinda wild...but he was a bit like my first love. he calls every christmas. now he's engaged and i have a boyfriend (who actually used to be his best friend) Anyway, I don't really hear from him but every now and then. Last time I told him I couldn't see him because of him being engaged and my boyfriend...even though he told me that I WAS THE ONE he wanted to wake up beside, blah blah.. (yeah, i know..i felt bad for his fiance) So at work the other day, he sent white roses (my fav.) and a CD with that song, "all along" by nickleback...it was just the best thing ever, but what should i do??? i love my boyfriend, and i'm not going to move in on some girls fiance, but it just made me so happy. i dont even know how to react. i'm in shock. what do you think ??
2006-09-22 08:58:28 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well my big question is "how do i handle this situation"??? its kind of bittersweet. before, we never really had a chance...and i have always cared about him...but something would always happen. i dont know...its like you wait and wait for something to happen, and then once you move on, it finally does. i dont know..guess i'm just eager to tell someone!!! haha
2006-09-22 09:04:11 · update #1
okay..hold on a sec. everyone cares for their first love, right??? am i wrong to be excited here??? it doesn't mean i'm going to lie to my b/f or cheat OR that I don't take his fiance into consideration. it's just that i am really taken by surprise. BELIEVE ME, i've rejected this guy many times, for fear that he was too wild, etc....i'm not like that and i don't think about being sneaky or underhanded.
2006-09-22 09:10:52 · update #2
ps. i'm 21 yrs old now. :)
2006-09-22 09:22:52 · update #3
Take it from this fella.
He really likes you one hell of a lot.
You're one lucky girl.
Don't miss out.
Don't live a life of regret.
Choose
2006-09-22 09:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by Up your Maslow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your boyfriend, this other guy sending you roses should be seen as a threat to your current relationship. It should not make you happy at all, it should make you mad that he will not take no as an answer... Tell your boyfriend about the flower and CD and ask him to talk with the engaged ex-friend...I say ex, because any guy that will try and make moves on his friends girl is not a friend... If you love your boyfriend, you need to tell him, tell him now and ask him to help or you will be seen as untrustworthy later when he does find out later. He will find out one way or the other. Sounds more like a nightmare than a dream if you ask me...
2006-09-22 09:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your youthful first bad boy love and there is always a place for them in our hearts where no rational thought can ever displace them.
Keep it as that don't do anything.
Cause otherwise you have to face the fact that
a) if he really wanted to be with you he would have made an effort when you were available.
b) if hes willing to lie to his fiance to make a play for you rather than breaking up with her cause she is not the one he is a cheap sleeze.
c) what he is actually after is a shag for old times sake.
Leave it in the past where it belongs. You have a fiance who loves you, and you know what you should do.
2006-09-22 09:02:43 · answer #3 · answered by Bebe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to send the items back, and tell him firmly how inappropriate his behavior is and ask him how he'd feel if he really dug someone, and found out they were sending gifts and making "you're the one" statements to someone else.
By accepting his tokens, you're in the wrong as well...how would you feel if some chick were sending your b/f gifts and telling him he was the one for her? Wouldn't it hurt you if you knew he'd kept something like that from you, and that it inwardly pleased him that someone else felt that way about him?
This is a no-win situation...put the ex boyfriend behind you FOR GOOD and move forward...unless a time comes when you are both single and available, all your present behavior toward one another right now is doing is risking your current relationships.
2006-09-22 09:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so hard not to be swept away by this guy. Let's try to look outside of the flattery, and fairy tale romantics and evaluate the situation. I am an outsider looking "in" here...Despite the thoughtfulness of the first love's gifts, etc., he is doing something very inmoral, which is promising a girl he will marry her (i.e. saying "I love you" to her, probably having sexual relations with her....let's grasp that for a moment), yet courting another woman (you) on the side. Could you really TRUST a guy who's doing what your first love is doing? My opinion is NO. You LOVE your boyfriend...continue to focus your energy on that relationship and reject this other guy once and for all.
2006-09-22 09:25:42 · answer #5 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you say to someone in the same exact situation.
Also, why would you want someone who is sends a girl flowers and a CD while hes engaged to someone else...what is the guarantee he wouldnt do that to you.
I would also be happy about the flowers and CD, but i would absolutely be disgusted with the guy so it would just really make me not able to enjoy whatever he sent...imagine what the other girl would go through if she found out.
I suggest you tell him to back off...and also, if you can get yourself to...tell the girl.
2006-09-22 09:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by Patience 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you're right, you absolutely should NOT go for that guy. imagine if you were in his fiance's shoes- how would you feel if some girl moved in on you? not good, i bet. but your not wrong to feel that way- heck, i know i'd feel the same. but remember that this guy could do the same thing to you if you did happen to go for him- he sounds like a huge flirt. if anything, you should tell his fiance what he's been up to. better to save the poor girl some more heartbreak because if you dont go for him, he's bound to go for some other girl. so stick with your boyfriend, and keep away from that guy! :) good luck
2006-09-22 09:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to be flattered. Its always nice to know that someone thinks the world of you. However, you say you love your boyfriend so I'm assuming you aren't going to leave him for this guy. You should probably go ahead & tell your bf about the flowers & cd. You owe it to him to be honest & if he finds out down the road he would probably be hurt that you didn't tell him. Don't do anything behind his back you wouldn't want him doing behind yours.
2006-09-22 09:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Annabelle418 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, he is gonna get married very soon. I don't think is fair for his fiance and for your boyfriend as well. You're flattered because he shows interest of winning you back. Just hold on a second and think. Past is past and it is history. Now is the present. Live for today because memories belong to the past.
2006-09-22 09:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your boyfriend NOW!! If you don't then he's going to end up finding out and think your cheating on him. That's not what you want especially if you love him. This guy sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. If he really wanted to be with you then he wouldn't be engaged. Leave him alone and tel him to leave you alone. If your happy with your bf don't ruin it with gambling on you love. It's not the way to go.
2006-09-22 09:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by Amber R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have heard the line, we receives back jointly quickly, & that turned right into a lie. that's what they inform you to ease your soreness slightly. They sense in charge about hurting you. i truly hate to inform you this, butsomeone has to. i imagine you want to move on, because love takes position more advantageous than once, & you'd be ok. solid luck.
2016-11-23 15:40:48 · answer #11 · answered by zollars 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋