What do i do ?

Question

My boss told me he loved me today, not sure what to do. I just want to make it clear i have no and i mean NO interest at all .

Answer 1

If you can, tell him you are flattered but you keep work and personal life completely seperate and would never even consider anything but a working relationship with him. So in the nicest way you are asking him to back off or you will have to take the matter up with someone of higher authority.

Answer 2

I had a minor problem with a boss similar to this but also told everyone else that we had a chemistry. I made it clear to him that i had no interest in him and he made my life at work hell. he gave everyone the impression that we were best friends. expected me to do whatever he wanted and then threw a tantrum when he didn't get his own way. i complained to my direct manager twice and she did nothing cos he was a senior manager. it came to a head when he told me i could not go home when i was ill, i went anyway and he made a complaint to my manager about me the b*st*rd. it was a this point that i had to use the company grievance procedure and negotiated a settlement to end my contract as i could no longer work there. so i sympathise don't let him grind you down if he gets turned down now he should get over it. if he doesn't stand your ground early dont put up with it.

Answer 3

tell him your flattered but hes just not your type, if hes your boss n you like your job n wanna keep it you cant just tell him to bog of it will lead to bad feeling n no doubt affect the other people who work with you both, keep it upbeat n friendly but make it clear your not interested, if your not straight with him he'll take it even worse.

Answer 4

Say "I want to make it clear that I have no and I mean NO interest at all" then if he keeps it up, tell him he's walking the "sexual harrassment" line and better cool it.
Document his actions and sue him if he doesn't stop.

Answer 5

Make it perfectly clear. and start looking for a new job if your not interested in him . If you are interested be very careful you can get yourself in a very very difficult situation and get there fast before you know it.

Answer 6

Just go with the flow ,baby , ask for 100% pay rise, or more whatever you want , and shag the guts out of the smelly old fucker! If you say you have no interest then you risk your job !!! Perhaps record your conversations, then blackmail the dirty fucker?????

Answer 7

Sexual harassment at work threatens your self-esteem and confidence; it stops you from working effectively, undermines your dignity, and can affect your health and happiness. Nobody should be subjected to it. The unfortunate reality is that it is happens all too often.

Luckily, a variety of laws exist to protect you. Your employer has a duty to provide a safe system of work, safe equipment and competent employees. Consequently, he or she has a responsibility to protect you from harassment. You are also protected by the Sex Discrimination Act, which guards you against less favourable treatment because of your sex. Similar laws apply in Scotland as in England and Wales.

What exactly is sexual harassment and who is responsible for it, and what action should you take if it happens to you?

Sexual harassment is unwelcome behaviour of a sexual nature, and even just one isolated act is enough to amount to it. It could take the form of sexual innuendo or lewd comments about your appearance or sex life, whether these are written or spoken. It could be a physical act, for example, deliberately brushing up against you or trying to caress you. Or, it could be more general, where for example, the environment of the workplace creates a hostile or humiliating atmosphere for you. This could be the result of sexually explicit material displayed in the workplace, the downloading of internet porn by other employees, or other behaviour that creates an uncomfortable environment.



What action should you take?
If you are experiencing any of these things, then there are steps you can take. First, you should make it clear that you find the behaviour inappropriate and unwelcome. When you do this, speak clearly and do not smile or apologise. If possible, confront your harasser in front of another person who you trust. You could also write to your harasser, if you find it too difficult to directly confront him or her, and you should keep a copy of the document.

If the behaviour continues, keep a diary of when and where it happened, what occurred, and who was there to witness it. Report the behaviour to your employer, who is then obliged by law to take action to investigate it and prevent it happening again. Take notes of any meetings with your employer about it. Many workplaces will have a specific procedure in place to deal with such complaints.

If other people are experiencing harassment, ask them to keep notes as well and to also make a complaint. If an employment agency organized your work placement, then tell them. If you are a member of a trade union, it is a good idea to let them know about the problems you are experiencing. If your health is suffering, then tell your doctor. In some cases the harassment may technically amount to assault or another criminal offence, in which case you should report it to the police.

At a later stage, if the harassment continues, you may need to prove that you took every step to stop the behaviour.



Legal action
If you are unhappy with the way your employer has dealt with your grievance, or if your harasser is your employer, then you can take legal action. Your union will be able to provide you with legal advice and representation. The Equal Opportunities Commission offers advice online and in leaflet form, or you could phone the Employment Tribunals Enquiry Line. Citizen's Advice bureaux also offer excellent guidance and assistance on this type of complaint.

If you have exhausted all other options then you could bring your claim before an employment tribunal. If you are not satisfied with the tribunal's handling of your case then the decision can be appealed to an employment appeal tribunal.

You can bring a sexual harassment claim regardless of how long you have worked for your employer, or how many hours you work. This option is available to you whether you are a man or a woman, and whatever age or sexual orientation you are. If you have previously had a relationship with the harasser then you can still bring a claim. You can bring a claim even if the harassment happened at your job interview.



Time limitations to your actions
Sexual harassment claims are founded on the Sex Discrimination Act, on the basis you were discriminated against because of your gender. It is vital, however, that you file your claim within three months of the date when the employer either concluded their investigation into the incident or decided not to investigate it. Otherwise, your claim may be time-barred.

If your employer decides not to investigate, and you leave your job because you can no longer bear the harassment, then you could claim constructive unfair dismissal. This means the employer's action, or lack of action, caused you to hand in your notice, even though you were not directly asked to leave.



What the employer may argue in defence
The employer cannot argue that he or she did not intend to harass. If the behavior undermined your dignity on the basis of your gender then it is discriminatory by law.

If you keep quiet about harassment, the employer might argue that the behaviour was not unwelcome at the time, or that you have fabricated the story after leaving the job. According to an Equal Opportunities Commission report in 2001, however, nearly half of all applicants bringing tribunal claims between 1998 and 2001 had not made formal complaints while still employed. The reasons given were fear of receiving poor references, fear of harming their careers, embarrassment and concern they would not be believed.

European Union agencies have recognized that reluctance to complain is a distinguishing characteristic of sexual harassment. Employment tribunals are increasingly acknowledging that workers may have good reasons for delaying their complaint, and they examine the individual circumstances of each case when making decisions.

It is best to err on the safe side, however, and, if you can, make a formal complaint and keep written details of all instances of the harassment, and of what action was taken to deal with it.

Answer 8

My boss told me she loved me but she's my wife so I guess thats ok.

Answer 9

Tell him you're already married. Or you are engaged to someone but hes in another country and then show him a picture of a random guy. what can he do now?

Answer 10

talk to him in private and tell him you have no interest in him except a professional one. if it continues i would file a sexual harassment suit against him. keep a diary with times, dates, and things he has said or done. also include in your diary your reactions and what you have done to deter this action. that way you have something to show if it comes down to it. don't tell him what you are going to do or that you have a log of his actions and words.