person regarding your relationship.......I have been dating off and on this woman for a couple of years. I feel it and I know she feels it. But she is still hung up on her ex. I KNOW its time for me to address some things with her but I just dont know how to start it out. We met for lunch today and she was so excited telling me stuff she had done that I just didnt know how to lead into addressing us. The ex is supposed to come to town tonite and they will be off doing their thing. She claims she still has feelings for the ex, but is not IN love with her. I truly love this girl. I do not want to give her an ultimatum but theres got to be somewhere in between whats happening now and an ultimatum. Any suggestions on how to get the ball rolling......? I dont want to come across as weak and falling apart (even tho i feel that way) but I dont want to be an a** either.
2006-09-22 07:58:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm not exactly sure about this particular one, but I can say that I personally adhere strictly to the following: I'm not a mind reader. I can't fix things that I don't know are a problem. I really can't feel sorry for people who won't tell me if I'm doing something that bothers them.
That may be kind of harsh, but think of it this way: if it bothers you enough to seek out advice about it, more than likely it bothers you enough to confront her. If not, it will soon. The only person that can resolve the situation and give you the answers you need is the girl you are dating.
2006-09-22 08:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you MUST stand your ground. You can do this by not being an asshole or a weak punk. But you have to be assertive and let her know that this behavior of hers is unacceptable. By the sounds of it, were it possible, she'd be back with him immediately. I would not be surprised if he isn't getting some of the benefits of marriage without having to deal with her on a continual basis. Your relationship stands NO CHANCE if you do not get this matter resolved. If you blow it getting your point across, so be it, but don't wimp out. If it's over it's over and you'll know as soon as you tell her what's up. Do it and move on. Don't be a wuss she can trample down.
2006-09-22 15:13:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh,,,, you poor sucker. You're being taken for a ride my dear. She's DATING HER EX! Yes, it's true- she's going out on a DATE with him tonight-- and admits she has "feelings" for him (whatever that's supposed to mean!)
Allowing your girlfriend to date other men IS weak. She's obviously not committed to you if she's still hung up on her ex, dating him, admitting she has feelings for him and you're too scared to face off with her about it.
Guess what- SHE is being the a$$.
Why do you love her?? She's not even available- she's "with" her ex-- but he's not really an ex- they're still dating, talking, getting together, sharing feelings...
2006-09-22 15:03:51 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all get a grip. The Ex is another woman. Damn dude what is the problem. Your just jealous. Get over yourself and find something else to do. If you can't handle it move on.
2006-09-22 15:11:34 · answer #4 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think her spending time with the ex is such a good idea, is it? I mean, if you're *done* with someone, be DONE with them.
Why can't you go, too? Might alleviate some of your fears if you go. If they won't let you, there's a problem.
2006-09-22 15:01:34 · answer #5 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON. SHE HAS UNFINISHED BUSINESS WITH HER EX. THAT MEANS BAGGAGE.
YOU DESERVE BETTER. GO OUT THERE AND FIND SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU FEEL SO GOOD THAT YOU WILL WANT TO BRAG TO YOUR FIRENDS ABOUT THEM.
2006-09-22 15:01:52 · answer #6 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋