My boyfriends ex won't let him see his daughter unless he goes to her house and visit. She won't let him just pick the baby up and bring her to his house. It's obvious that she wants him back, but why make the child miss out on a relationship with her father?
Has anyone experienced this?
2006-09-22 07:40:24 · 12 answers · asked by Kesh 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Oh, have I experienced this! My parents divorced when I was very young. . .my mother used to try to use me to get to my father. Now, my father is divorced from his second wife and she does the same. Many times, women use the kids as a weapon to hurt the father. This is a horrible thing, because children should not have to worry about adult issues. . . they should just have to worry about having fun.
I'm sorry you're involved in this. It's a very difficult situation, I'm sure. I bet she's also mad that you're in his life now. She probably doesn't want you to "raise" her child. She feels threatend by you. He should take her to court and get visitation rights.
Best of luck!
2006-09-22 09:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by Sera B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there's more to this situation that you don't know about. Maybe she is scared the he would hurt the baby or try to run with the baby. You, as a GIRLFRIEND, have NO SAY WHATSOEVER in the dealings between the parents. If you can't deal with their arrangement, get a new boyfriend. Visitation is not about the mom or the dad, most certainly not about mom;s or dad's new significant other, ONLY ABOUT THE CHILD!!!!
To gbanita....what kind of example are you setting for a child by sleeping with her father when you are not married!!! Not saying that it's wrong, but you may give that child the sense that it is ok to sleep around.
YOU PEOPLE NEED TO THINK ABOUT THE KIDS NOT YOUR OWN HURT FEELINGS. If you don't like what your boyfriend has to do for his kids, leave him!!!!
2006-09-22 07:51:07 · answer #2 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh my- you need to learn a thing or two about how every story has two sides. Just because he says he is wonder dad doesn't make it so. Don't be so blind. If she doesn't trust him with this child away from her supervision there is probably a good reason. You are not his wife- what makes you think you are the first or will be the last woman he will parade in and out of this child's life. If he is going to have visitation with his child it wouldn't hurt to do it where he can be supervised until he earns some trust and shows some responsibility- not to mention YOU have no business having visitation with the child. Let him take care of his business until you two decide to get married - then you can have a limited role.
2006-09-22 08:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have never experienced this but have a question. Does he have court appointed visitation. I he does and a judge isnt requireing supervision she is in violation of the order. Contrary to other answers I've seen on this subject a child needs to have a bond with both parents. If your boyfreind is a good father and wants time alone with his child (or maybe time with you and hischild) he needs to take her to court and have visitation assigned. I will tell you though in NY where I live if he's notpaying support, he won't get the visitation.
2006-09-22 07:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by skylark455st2 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Baby mama drama damn, If they dont get along he should go to court and explain that him and the BM(baby momma) dont get along and that it would not be a good setting for the child to be in as they are either not talking to each other or arguing. Hopefully he has a clean record and can prove that he is of no danger to this childs welfare and that his house is clean and up to par for a child to be in (clean floors, safty plugs in outlets ect. ect.) and they should tell her that there is no reason why he cant take his child home with him and that she cant stop him, YOU need to just play the sideline because if there is drama between you and her he can forget the visitaion because your (in the courts eyes) a danger or problem that he could get rid of and isnt which means he dosnt need to bring the child home.
2006-09-22 09:38:28 · answer #5 · answered by puresplprix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is the child? No child younger than 5 years old should be away from its mother at all, for any reason, so i don't think you should think it's because she wants your guy, but that she actually knows how to care for a child.
what's wrong with him that he's got a baby somewhere else and a new girlfriend already? doesn't sound like someone you'd want to make your own baby with.
The baby doesn't need a relationship with her father outside of the home. It would be stressful, not nice. The baby needs to be with mommy. If daddy is so concerned, daddy should visit. Period.
2006-09-22 07:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, he ought to get a courtroom-ordered DNA try. And maximum kinfolk courts have attorneys who will do professional-bono artwork, as 5 YEARS LATER with out contacting the meant father is a quite important aspect in figuring out even if someone ought to get new child help. also, if he DOES ought to pay, he can get it paid into an account (some thing like a believe fund) so the mum won't be able to use the money to purchase herself a clean coat, etc.
2016-11-23 15:30:39 · answer #7 · answered by reader 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to babies....mothers are fierce and protective. If she is nursing them how can the baby leaver her? Also, most experts would tell you that dating should be conducted on YOUR time, not the child's time. Some even say single parents should never introduce new partners for 2 years. It should all about the kids.
Good luck, his life should revolve around that baby no matter where it is
2006-09-22 12:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by mariasonawire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through something similar.. My bf ex complains that he doesn't do anything for his daughter, which is b.s. because he does.. Plus, when he does more for his daughter, and spends more time w/ her, she tells me he can't see her anymore... She flipped when she heard that i was sleeping over my bf's house, when he would have his daughter, so she started spreading rumors to the family about he disrepects his daughter having me there.. Which is not true... She is totally hating that he is w/ someone else, and wants nothing to do w/ her.. He just wants to be able to be w/ his daughter... The poor girl is suffering throguh all this because her mom told her she doesn't want her to be around her dad, which i heard the lil' girl tell my bf herself.. Baby mama's can be a bit psycho, and they don't realize they're making their kids suffer..
2006-09-22 07:48:45 · answer #9 · answered by qbanita0113 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to contact me! My husband and I have been going through this for 5 years!!! We haven't seen his daughter in 6 months because of her. It makes me sick, has she gotten him for child support yet? Because when all else fails, she is gonna want to get even, make sure he isn't giving her cash, We added ours onto our bank account because we lived so far away and if something happened to the baby and she couldn't contact us, we didn't want her to go without, and we were slammed for 15,000.00 in back owed child support even though we can prove she withdrew thousand of dollars from our account. So be careful, bit.ches are skanless!!
2006-09-22 08:03:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋