2006-09-22 07:17:19 · 16 answers · asked by Rachael 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
sounds like you have daddy issues, talk with a shrink right away before you drive you future husband away. and be sure you tell him that you love him and you don't meen what you say, ask for his help as well.
2006-09-22 07:27:48 · answer #1 · answered by Jimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try stepping back and looking at what triggers your reaction - was it something he said or did that made you mean or rude?
Then once you have identified what triggered your response, stop and look at whether that really was what he meant, or whether you have misunderstood something he has said and are reacting in the wrong way. It's very easy to get the wrong end of the stick and to react in a negative way to something, which in turn then gets a negative response.
By taking the time to stop and check that your response is justified you might just save yourself jumping to the wrong conclusion and actually getting a far better understanding and loving relationship as a result.
There is a way of looking at this sort of behavior called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - try this as a starting point http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_therapy
2006-09-22 07:28:00 · answer #2 · answered by sean6045 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your rude because you take him for granted. your very likely all worried about putting on a good face for everyone else in the world however, so you treat them like rock stars. w/ your boyfriened you don't care as much what he thinks because you are comfortable around him, so you act tired, frustrated,etc... all the bad stuff you hide from everyone else. you need to realize that ALL the other people don't matter. your doing it backwards. value the person you choose to be with & treat them like a rock star. hes probably the only person that really cares about you, all these acquaintances & such are just peripheral noise.
you can do this only by changing the way you think... it will be hard. you have to realize that everyone else in the world isn't as important as you think they are. value you the peopl who sincerely value you.
2006-09-22 07:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by mcslain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you do it is because he allows it. But, this is not a good reason to continue it. Yes, you do need to talk to someone.Sometimes we are mean to the people we love, and nice to the people we don't really care about. Why is this? I think because we trust that our loved ones will continue to love us no matter what. This may not be the case with a finance. He isn't your mother!
2006-09-22 08:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We tend to take out our frustrations on the people closest to us, so it actually means you love youre fiance, but you have to try and controll it because it not a good enough reason to be rude and mean. Just try to have more patience
2006-09-23 07:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're focusing on what you do not like in him and thusforth seeing more of it, focus on what you do like and when you become upset or angry. Focus on what you do like and love and him, and realize that it's why you're with him to begin with. What happens when you're grateful to a fiance? He wants to do more, it's attracts support. Be grateful for what you have in him and really feel it. You'll be surprised how fast his behavior changes, in your eyes.
2006-09-22 07:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by Answerer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's never for no reason. it's just that you're not aware/conscious of the reason. read *the complete idiot's guide to toltec wisdom*. it will help you to become aware of unconscious material/issues and alot more. this will help to make your life much more pain, drama, and misery free ;-) happy fall equinox!
2006-09-22 07:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can control your rudeness/meaness. maybe just talk to him about whats going on, and try to stop next time before you do so. if nothing else works then maybe consult a professional, but i personally think that's a waste. so yah, just try!
2006-09-22 07:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Actually, I know all about this. I had this problem with my ex and now with my current boyfirend, I am able to avoid it by being more in tune with my needs and expectations... and am learning to communicate more...
Email me if you want. We can talk in more detail
2006-09-22 07:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No I am like that all the time to my husband...I think it's a way to let off steam
2006-09-22 07:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by GD-Fan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋