how do i handle it when my daughter names her baby (my first grandchild) after a deceased 2 year old nephew?

Question

my nephew was born with a birth defect and went through 26 surgerys within 2 years. he never came home from the hospital to know a normal life. i was very close to him and i suggested to my daughter to use his name as a middle name but she is using it as a first name and i don't know how to deal with hearing his name every day without breaking down. the loss of my nephew is still so painful for me.

Answer 1

You're daughter may be doing this to honor your nephew...it's not a bad thing and she's not trying to hurt you. My parents had a child that was worth with defects and he never came home. Lived 49 days before he died and my mother's best friend named her next child after him. Same first and middle names. It was done out of honor and love and you should be taking that into consideration. It really isn't about you!

Answer 2

If you didn't want her to name the baby after the nephew why bring it up in the first place? You obviously loved the baby very much, and as hard as it is to do, start to heal. When you hear the name remember the happy times. Associate the name with joy not pain and loss. Your daughter is doing it because she loved the baby too, and he was important to her. Congrats on the baby and good luck.

Answer 3

It sounds like your daughter is trying to honor the memory of her cousin, not hurt you. Perhaps you should seek help from a grief counselor in order to put this pain into perspective and learn to deal with it on a more productive level. I understand your grief, no one who has lost someone that they loved doesn't, but you need to come to terms with this and move on. Your nephew wouldn't want to see his aunt hanging onto so much pain.

Please seek some guidance soon, before the pain overwhelms you and you can no longer function.

Remember, your grandchild needs you too.

Answer 4

Look at it like a blessing that a part of the nephew will still be around for time to come.

Answer 5

You must remember that this name could be taken as a sign for you to heal and feel better Ma'am...think of it as giving your diseased nephew a second chance to live a new life and feel loved. Of all things, it should make you happy for your daughter to names her child after a poor soul who God sought to take back to His arms.

Answer 6

Your daughter named it after your deceased 2 year old nephew because she missed him too. She wants to name her child after him in loving memory. if it hurts you too much, then talk to her and try to convince her why it hurts you too much to have that child as a first name . hope you guys resolve this.

Answer 7

Is it a very distinctive name? Not to be cruel, but if your nephew's name was 'Dan' or 'Mike' or another common name, you would be hearing it the rest of your life anyway...other friends, on TV, etc.

Answer 8

Maybe grief counceling will help you with this loss if you haven't dealth with it during all of these years. Naming after your nephew honors his memory and keeps his memory alive.

Answer 9

Look come up with a compramise let your daughter be happy and name the baby that but when he is with you call him by a nick name untill you can handle it. Pray that God gives you strength I know I will.

Answer 10

your daughter is doing this in honor of that little child.this child will ease the pain, plus it's your 1st grandchild... you'll be surprised by just how much you'll love this new little life.no doubt you've talked about your nephew to your daughter. she just wants to honor that love. accept it. she's doing it out of love for you.