He lives in a different town about 30 mins away and currently cannot drive due to a DUI. So everyday ive been driving to see him hes not the richest guy in the world and its like hes kinda struggling to make ends meet. Hes a sweet guy and i like him but theres another guy now thats trying to talk to me and we've been friends for awhile but im thinking there might be something more there and he thinks it too, my question is what should i do? The fact that guy #1 doesnt have money doesnt bother me at all, if i care about someone i care about them rich or poor, cute or not. But the other guy is going to college working hard and is really going to make something of himself. Im kinda torn because i like both of these guys but i dont really know what to do any suggestions of helping me figure out who i should be with? Thank you for the serious answers i get.
2006-09-22 06:35:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im not a gold digger i didnt ask for cristisim. Im just looking for someone that i could marry and have a stable life with and be happy
2006-09-22 06:40:38 · update #1
Here's your serious answer, so please take it seriously.
I think you have a healthy attitude towards the guys you care about, & I like the part where you said you put more importance in the relationship than on looks or money.
But I am afraid you missed a major RED FLAG!!
Guy #1 may have a problem that you must give very serious consideration to, & it's not the looks, or the money. It's the DUI !!!!
If you are looking for a guy that potentially is going to be your life partner, wouldn't you rather have a guy who isn't going to get behind the wheel of a car & drive DRUNK? Who would you rather have driving your future children around, Guy #1 or Guy #2?
I recommend that you re-read your question, & divide your comments about Guy #1 from Guy #2, & then read both sets of comments like you would a resume.
Now who gets the job of your future boyfriend?
Maybe it's neither one. Please ask yourself, don't you deserve to be with a guy who is not only sweet & nurturing, but also Educated, Enterprising, & above all Responsible?
I regularily attend a support group for the families of alcoholics. Every week I listen to women talk & complain about their drunken husbands. The information contained in your question has an air of familiarity to it, & that is why I was compelled to give you this answer. I predict that if you stick with guy #1 long enough to enter into a marriage with him, that you will one day be attending an Alanon, CoDa, or similar meeting somewhere near where you live.
Take good care of yourself.
2006-09-22 07:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can follow your heart or you can follow your mind. #1. offers you nothing but love and does not bother you,you have to drive to see him-if he really cared he would get a job no matter how insignificant and he would make an effort to get transportation to come and see you, even if he had to take a bus, struggling financially there is nothing wrong with that, we all go through that at times especially when were young. #2. is going to college and working hard to make something of himself does he make an effort to come and see you, besides his education and job -does he place you above the other college friends, if the answer is yes then take no. 2 ,sometime this relationships work out good other times when the guy gets his degree will he still be interested in you. in other words if someone really loves you -he wants and will do the best for you and will always be there for you.
2006-09-22 13:57:07 · answer #2 · answered by whisper 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on guy number one has no money and a DUI big red flag, sure he may be a very nice guy. Do you want to spend the rest of your life trying to fix his issues. He has proven himself to be less than responsible by driving drunk, he is struggling because of the bad choices he makes. Leave him alone to figure it out, or you will be helping him to figure it out the rest of your life.
Guy number two has goals, plans for the future. HELLO you decide what do you want out of life someone who makes really bad choices or someone who is working on a obtaining a future. Ask yourself this question out loud, (the one you posted)or what would you tell a dear friend that asked you this question as far as your opinion on this one. Take your own advice.
2006-09-22 13:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right, if you care about somebody money and looks should not matter, but on the other hand, does he not have money because he is lazy and does not want to work? Does he have goals and is he responsible? That is what matters the most.
Of course you want a good life for yourself, and before you make a choice you must follow your heart and decide who you want to be with. Only you know who you care about more.
2006-09-22 13:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by jam_psb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but guy #1 sounds like a real loser. I'm sorry, but you asked. I wouldn't waste my time on him. DUI's happen to good people, but they also happen to drunks who like to get behind a wheel and put everyone's lives in danger. You might not deserve guy #2, but that's who I would pick. You say you don't care about #1 not having money. Ok. Let's say tomorrow you get in a really bad accident, (maybe a drunk driver hit you) ending up disabled. Who's gonna be there? Guy #1 with no way to get to you, no money to help you pay your electric bill if you had to borrow it, no way to drive you around...? Or guy #2 who sounds like he has more sense and has goals in life?
2006-09-22 13:55:04 · answer #5 · answered by MoMoney23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a dude, and I can tell you that that DUI dude will just make you into trailer trash.
People might grow up a little bit, but lazy good for nothing people do not suddenly become productive members of society.
Get with a real man.
2006-09-22 14:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to weigh each of positives and negatives of each guy.
I would think that guy #2 would be the more responsible being that he did not have a DUI and apears to be working towards a future. Now the choice is your to make so make the wise decision.
2006-09-22 13:41:48 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man thats a story! but you have to follow your heart really no one can answer you and tell you who to be with. its with who you think you will be happy with. and thats good that your not the type of female that cares what he has or doesnt have. im the same. just think about who you know more, who respects you more, who will be there for you when times are bad, give them a test like if something bad happend see how far they will go to help.
2006-09-22 13:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by LiL MaMa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, the first guy doesn't have any bucks and that doesn't matter to you, BUT the second guy is working hard and someday will have bucks.
And you use this as the main distingusiher between the two !!!
Can you say "Gold digger" ???
2006-09-22 13:38:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well you said it doesn't matter if guy #1 has nothing but the only thing you mentioned about guy # 2 is he has money going to school to make money, i think you already made up your mind ...
2006-09-22 13:43:24 · answer #10 · answered by dechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋