My 3 1/2 year old won't potty train. Should I wait till he's older?

Question

My son cries when I put him on the potty. I've tried stickers, candy, cherios and toys. He just won't even sit. Is it too soon for him? Are there any other methods I could try?
Thanks!

Answer 1

He is definitely not ready. There are too many parents that obsess over training by a certain age or by one-upping other parents. Obviously they put their opinions on here in force. The other day there was a similar question on here. Two of the more reasonable answers came from a mom that said the average age for boys to be trained was 3-5. Another person said up to 6 for boys. The thing is, potty training is ridiculous. It should be your son's choice. Keep him in diapers and you'll both be happier. If he gets to be 5 and still wants to be diapered then I'd try to push him a bit. In a few years this will all be over and you'll realize what a non-issue this is. Good luck!

Answer 2

Ok, I have potty trained 5 children. 4 of my own and one step-child.
Your son is old enough to reason with. Before you put him on the potty tell him you love him and are proud of him, that he is getting so big and strong and old enough to use the potty.. and then tell him (since you think he is afraid) that you would never let anything hurt him so he shouldn't be afraid. Do not give in to tears!! Yes, he is old enough to manipulate. I don't know him, but I bet he isn't really afraid...he just doesn't want to be there. Don't be to rough, but be very firm about him staying there for a bit. (Turn off your anxiety mommy, he is going to be fine and no child has ever been psychologically scarred from sitting on the toilet for 10min.) You are doing great with trying to find what motivates him. For my son it was matchbox cars. And yes, do get him the book or DVD, "Once Upon a Potty" it is so cute!
Also, most children do not like the way it feels to be wet or dirty for a spell. Obviously, don't let him sit in poopy diapers for a long time, but if you wait longer than, Oh i smell it I better change it, he will be uncomfortable to think about it. Same with the pee, only you can wait a little longer.

Answer 3

I'm a preschool teacher. i potty train 2 year olds all the time. some catch on immediately. others take a little longer. i do no a few 3.5 yr olds who still haven't gotten it yet. here is my suggestion. if your using pull-ups stop. why people even bother with them during potty training is beyond me with exception of not wanting to deal with the mess of accidents. pull-ups give the child the same concept as diapers. the soft there absorbent. etc. put underwear on him. make a huge deal about it. find his favorite character. tell him he is a super here whatever it may take for encouragement. set yourself up to expect accidents. especially the first week. you will feel like your getting no where. be patient though keep it positive. do not punish or criticize for accidents especially in the beginning. if no luck say after 3 weeks talk to your pediatrician. if there is no cause as to why he wouldn't be able to control the bladder. then it is time to be stern. let him know what you expect and make there be consequences. only on proper occasions though. there will still be accidents. as long as he isn't avoiding going. if he is afraid of the big potty (many are) get him a little potty of his own. good luck!!! it will be frustrating but well worth it in the end!!

Answer 4

I have 4 kids & none of them potty trained the same is he an only child if so that might be the problem he dosent understand he's a big boy now , my brother & his wife got my niece a potty chair that she could color & write her name on , she will turn 4 this Nov & she has only been potty trained for a few months she was the first child & they can sometimes be tough no 2 children are the same but asking his doc if there should be concern wouldnt hurt . good luck & dont give up it'll happen

Answer 5

I wouldnt wait, but i would give the pediatrician a call to see if they have some suggestions. I tried using a potty seat rather than tiolet potty training first for my kids, because they would cry at trying to use the tiolet, and I am sure it was because they were afraid it. You can find smaller potty seats even with charactors, etc on it at most stores. It may also help to get some books about pottying. I mean, like a kid story you read to them... I know most people may think thats weird, but there are books aimed to help guide kids to accept that they have to use the potty.

Answer 6

my son was the same way. the only way that i got him to potty train was to put him in school and when he seen other kids go then he started. hes been in school for a month now and hes fully potty trained, hes also 3 1/2. try not putting him in diapers all day long too that may help if he pees in his pants a few times...my son hates the feeling. i wish u all the best!

Answer 7

Be consistent.
Get him toys, put them in view.
Put him in underwear. Be prepared to clean up and do a lot of laundry.
Take him every 1/2 hour at first, to every hour eventually.
Focus on getting him to pee before poo. It's easier for them to learn that.
He'll get there.
Give him lots of praise. Lots when he sits.
Explain to him what he'll be doing, "potty training" and explain the rwards then put it all into action. Tell him "no more diapers" (but deal with the nightime diapers still).
If he sits initially, allow him 1 M&M or chocolate chip, put them out in a dish in the bathroom; make a big deal of it all. If and when he pees in the potty let him have like 3. And reward him with lots of praise.

Answer 8

I just potty trained my daughter who is also 3 1/2 and it was really easy, you know what I did? She stopped wearing diapers, I went to the store, and bought her some fabric underwears, I'm not gonna tell you that she didn't have little "accidents" at the beggining. but in 1 week she was potty trained, try it, I only let her wear diapers at night time in the first three weeks, but as soon as I saw that she really knew when she wanted to go to the potty, I stopped with the diapers at night, I hope you like my advice, good luck with your little charmer.

Answer 9

At Walmart they have a book that has a botton that they can push that makes a toilet flushing sound so they get used to it and it doesn't scare them. Don't put them directly on the big toilet seat. www.onesstepahead.com has a potty chair that is great...we have one for our son. Is it a little step stool with the little seat that goes over the pig toilet seat. It makes them feel more secure. Do you plan on putting your son in pre-school? If so get him excited about going and tell him that he has to learn to use the big boy potty in order to go...most pre-schools require that they be potty trained.

Answer 10

No it is not too soon. My nephew just turned three and he is on his way to being trained. They have decorate toilet paper now for kids at the supermarket. I have tried "break the Bridge." You place a piece of paper horizontally over the potty and they have to break the bridge. Everyone is different maybe he just needs more time, but I woulod keep trying.