Should I be upset about this or shall I just understand that they were married for 10 years and this is a part of his past?
2006-09-22 06:20:44 · 35 answers · asked by Kelly N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yep - it's a part of his past & he can't erase it to suit you. If they are still on display then I wouldn't be too thrilled about it - you don't say, but do they have children together? Are the kids in the pix as well? That would be another reason for keeping them.
I still have pix of 1st hubby - we were together 13+ years, so kinda
hard to block all of that. Do I hang them on the walls or have them in my bedroom? No. If he does - you might ask him to put them away out of respect for your new relationship - unless the kids are in them. Then you just have to put up with it. Try to come to terms with it & don't let it get to you - that won't do you or your relationship any good!!! Be of good cheer - he IS with YOU now, not her.
2006-09-22 06:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You "are" not his entire life. Let that man live his life and accept his life or leave him alone. Why try to change him, you wanted him the way that he is in the beginning, you should still want that now or leave him alone for someone who can accept that he has a life of his own.
The pictures, his family, his ex-wife, his friends are all a part of him regardless as to where they happen to be in the timeline. Be secure in yours and his relationship. There is no obvious reason for this type of feeling you are having. If they were married for ten years, they could perhaps be like sister and brother, why would you want to take away something so meaningful from the man that you love????
2006-09-22 06:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by itissoogood 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally unserstand its his past and that one has to leave one's mates past alone. But hell its invading your relationship, I would infrom him that you are not jealous but that you find it unnecessary to carry around a picture of this women all the time with him! And, does he have a picture of you in his wallet? Don't get upset about it even though I do see how it would bother you. Be polite and poise about the situation don't let it get that bad on your nerves since these feelings are real and can affect you!!! Good luck and have a great day
2006-09-22 06:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by lasugarfree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a touchy subject. there are many feelings surounding the pics.
I know people who got rid of pics only later to regret having done so.
I would suggest that you and your boyfriend have a talk about the photos and come to some arrangement where they are stored in a way that daily access is not likely but they can be gotten to if needed. by this I mean packed away in containers like with the xmas decorations.
I would only be concerned about the pics if he were to be found looking at them often. If it is not a frequent walk down memory lane things should be fine.
2006-09-22 06:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by ??IMAGINE ?? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to want to save memories of your past. It's not a reflection on you at all. When your married to someone for that long, and you've shared so much of your life with that other person, it's normal to keep things like pictures that remind you of the good times you had together. Besides, at this point, your only his girlfriend, not his wife. If this bothers you, it suggests to me that you may either feel some insecurity in this relationship, or in yourself. Your not competing with his ex-wife, because your the present, and she is the past. Bottom line: his having pictures of his ex-wife is both normal, and healthy. He may want to discard the pictures in time, but that needs to be his decision, not yours. I wouldn't make an issue of it with him.
2006-09-22 06:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Upset you can be, even jealous, but I think he still has feelings for her and has not let go.
If those pictures remain in your household he will never forget. You can't control the way he feels but if he wants to be with you he needs to put those away for good.
Not just because you say, but out of respect for you.
2006-09-22 06:27:08 · answer #6 · answered by latina lover 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it depends on a few things. if you have just gotten together and they are still out, then he will put them away eventually in time. another thing is about the type of pictures they are, if they are group or family photos then they probably have some special memory for him, but if they are of just her than i would start to wonder a little bit. if you have been together for a good amount of time and the pics are of just her and are still out in the open, then just talk to him about it. it might not necessarily mean that he is still in love with her or anything. good luck :)
2006-09-22 06:28:34 · answer #7 · answered by Katy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear, jealousy, accusation, distrust can only kill a relationship. sometimes u need to have a breather on your own, so is him. what matter most is as long u have a place in his heart this should be good enough. but of course he must not be a 2 timer else u have to do something. this is a good time for u to get to know him better to see if u will want to marry him ultimately. best wishes.
2006-09-22 06:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its his past. And as long as he isn't moaning over them or always looking at them then why trip? You should be secure enough in yourself and your relationship not to care about old pictures. Everyone has a past. Don't you still have a pic or two of a old flame?
2006-09-22 06:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's ok to be some jealous and I would think that that's normal. But, imagine yourself saying, ah geeze, there's his shoebox of past memories. Getting rid of old photos is not a lobotomy for you or for him. Close the closet door and make new photos. ;)
2006-09-22 06:46:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋