Long story short - when he's around good people, he's the best person to be around. When he's around the wrong people, he falls into drugs and bad habits. When he's with my friends, he acts like such a good guy, and when he's with his other friends he just wants to do drugs and have sex with girls that are too young for him.
I'm sick of it. I'm tempted to give him an ultimatum - either them or us. Either leech off his other friends for drugs or get a job and hang out with people who are a good influence on him. He's proven he can't do both.
I just want him to make an honest living and have respect for himself and for women. How do I tell him he's on a path to destruction in the most loving, compassionate way possible?
2006-09-22 06:10:28 · 8 answers · asked by ? 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Here it is: you are my friend, and I love you, but I am frightened for you, when you use drugs and hang with the bad group, and pick girls to be casual with, you seem to avoid love and commitment. You are a great guy, my friends like you, too. I do not want to lose you as my friend. Can you clean up your act so I can keep you as my friend? I can't deal with the worry, or the drugs, I do not want to be around a druggie. Hey, there are diseases out there, there are people with guns, there are jail sentences, all for people who do drugs and casual sex. Sorry, dude, but I won't visit you in jail.
If I didn't care I would not ask. Those other people do not care about you.
I would not give an ultimatum, to me, it doesn't sound like something a real friend would do. Offer him help, only if you are sincere, and can carry through and help. And there is always keeping him too busy to go find the other crowd. And, if he can't carry through, you can be busy somewhere else, that does not include him.
Friendship is such a gift, I have put up with less than perfect behavior, in it's name, since the alternative is being alone. Maybe that's some advice for you both. If he is your friend, he will clean it up, and you are really a friend, you will stand by him.
Sorry to sound preachy, but you asked!
Good luck to you both!
2006-09-22 06:29:17 · answer #1 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to figure out who he really is. Then he will stop giving in to peer pressure and just following along with the current crowd he is in.
St. Francis of Assisi said: Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.
What does this mean? It means sometimes the only Gospel some people will ever hear is our actions. Our lives. Our example.
Show him how to be a good person. Show him how to be satisfied with being the odd man out. Show him what it means to be a person of faith and conviction. Love him and don't say anything unkind.
2006-09-22 06:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by Max Marie, OFS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he continues this behavior you will have to end the friendship, or you are enabling him.
You have to have consequences to anything you request of anyone. Otherwise they will not respect your word ever.
Decide what you are willing to do to help him, or shut up and accept him as he is. There is a reason you have a tolerance for such people. Who does he remind you of???
2006-09-22 06:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by Real Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start with prayer.
You could show him this question, it is spelled out very plain and simple.
I wish we could all save our friends who are making choices that are self destructive and disobedient to God. Pray that the Holy Spirit will convict your friend to repent follow Him.
If you are you a Christian, invite him to do a bible study with you. & Ask others to pray for him as well.
You are a good friend to care about him, sometimes people don't want to change cause they think being a Christian is dull and boring, Show him it ain't so.....
Hope this helps.
2006-09-22 06:24:41 · answer #4 · answered by redeemed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he worships devil, he isn't an atheist. he's a Satanist. St. Francis of Assisi mentioned "carry forth the Gospel in any respect circumstances and whilst needed, use words." Be witness by potential of ordering your man or woman domicile and stay the Gospel as best you could. proceed to desire for him - yet you could not make somebody have faith.
2016-12-18 14:58:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, all you can do is tell him how you feel then, just pray for him, it has worked for me with my husband, I would wake up with him and watch Arnald Murray and one day he said he didn't want to wake up to him every morning and I said he is a good teacher but, I would watch it after he left for work and I started to pray for him after He fell asleep and now he is on fire for God and is doing his best to live for Him.
Now, i realize you can't pray over while he is sleeping like I did but, just the same pray for him because when the rubber meets the road, only God can change him and he might be A little cranky at times because when you pray for someone in this situation, God is dealing with them hang in there and I too will be praying for him
2006-09-22 06:48:05 · answer #6 · answered by April A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you and your friends and his family could do an intervention and try to help him away from the "dark side", but sometimes you just can't help those that won't help themselves--he'll either hit rock bottom and pull himself back up or worse! good luck--the most you can do is pray for him.
2006-09-22 06:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they call that co-dependancy. He needs a good counselor.
2006-09-22 06:19:08 · answer #8 · answered by Bad Cosmo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋